Heh people, I'm back in Tokyo. Here's a quick look through the messages and some notes to ya all and lots of ramblings in between. . .

Linda -- You asked about Christmas here. Well, actually you see decorations around and so and hear Christmas music at times but people actually celebrating as Christians are probably few. There are Christians in Japan and here in Tokyo there is every kind of church, many Catholic ones actually. There are lots of foreigners and many of them are Catholic. Lots of Filipinos for example. It's hard to say what Japanese are. It's a religion but then not. Buddhism and Shintoism rituals are mixed throughout their life, mostly Shinto for weddings, Buddhist for funerals and altars for the deceased in homes. Solemn bells ring in the New Year at midnight at shrines (Shinto) and people line up to throw money and say a quick prayer for the New Year. All in all, New Year's is the big holiday but very solemn and spent with the family. Of course, there are Christmas parties and such to be found throughout the city since this is Tokyo and you practically find anything here. Yearend parties are a tradition here so they have a similar feel to Christmas parties for me though there isn't any decoration. They're called "forget the year parties" and include speeches commenting on the past year and then wishes for the coming one. Christmas is, like I said, not really celebrated, though there is a tradition of bringing cake home to the family on Christmas Eve. After work, all the stores have stands outside selling white Christmas cake and it's also a big date night so the hotels are booked from months earlier, but that's amongst the youth mostly!

I was raised Catholic but don't consider myself any particular religion any more. Although some people would say that being raised a Catholic scars you for life! No offense anyone! Just kidding.

I've lived in such diverse cultures and seen so many religions. I just kind of live I suppose the Golden Rule and that's basically common to all religious because, well, it's just common sense. I had been trying to put Christmas out of my mind partly because it hurt too much to remember the good times I had as a child but this year I'm feeling like just having a bit of fun and looking for any reason at all. So, if it's Christmas, whatever, it makes it easier for others to take I think. I was always like that but had gotten away from it a bit recently.

I just took one of my cats to the vet though. She has a severely inflamed mouth and throat and can't eat because of the pain. It's incurable apparently, afflicts many cats these days they say and no one knows the cause. There's nothing to do and eventually they just starve to death. But she and another one of my four has it and so I've been taking them to the vet for steroid shots, which relieves the pain for a couple weeks. The time between shots has been getting smaller but I can't stand to see her in pain. It being Christmas in a few days I wanted her to feel better so when I got back today I took her to the vet.

Also, I got a brandnew halter and lead ropes for my horse and I plan to give them to her for Christmas. Of course, it's FOOD she wants but I will give her some extra apples as well. But the blue halter will look good on her (she's chestnut) and has had this ugly red halter so I'd been wanting to get her a new one.

Raven -- We sound the same with the Christmas thing. I love all the stories about the season and the spirit. Wish it was yearround. What I don't like are the sentimental things. Makes me too sad. Got to turn off the songs when they come on. Actually makes me mad sometimes because it seems to just yank on my emotions. I guess some people need that to feel a little moved. I am moved sooo deeply that I can't stand it.

Nice to hear Arashi feels something special for you and shows it. I think all animals feel things but we just don't understand them and so don't realize what they're saying to us. The ones who learn to express things in ways that we understand our the ones we think love us but really it's a language problem I think.

Just today, I was up at the racehorse training center (that's where I went) and at the home of one of the trainers (all the national-level race training is done at two centers in Japan) I was playing with their dog and parakeet. The parakeet was climbing around on me, nibbling at my lips and pulling my hair. The dog, a Corgi, wants to play with the bird, but his problem is he wants to play like dog to dog. The bird is a tiny one but the dog jumps up and licks its face and the bird doesn't seem to mind, just moves away when it gets too much. It made me wonder about what the different species feel and understand of each other. I wonder if the bird realizes the dog wants to play? Can they read each other's thoughts. Animal communicators say they can. I think it's mostly feeling and telepathic and that's what it is when people say "dogs just know" when someone likes them. They're mind readers I think, not just dogs but all animals. People too but language gets in the way and people are better at concealing things perhaps.

As for the not caring thing about food, yeah, I think that is what I have been doing as well. But I'm trying to disconnect life from eating right. I'm trying to not think of it as a choice anymore but just something that is done, no reflecting, no weighing the pros and cons. You just DON'T do it. If I thought about whether I should be riding, keeping a horse, getting up before 4 a.m. and going to bed by 9, spending tons and tons of money etc etc. I would never be able to do it. I have made that decision though and I'm going to stick with it until I think it's not worth it after I've had a great ride for example, or when, like with your Arashi, you have a beautiful moment together . . . if I can say then, it's not worth it, then maybe I'll quit or change the situation. But right now, I've decided, it's worth it, so I DON'T allow myself to question that decision at the difficult times. And I want to do the same with food.

I'm being able more and more to say, this is my choice and that's that. I'm sticking with it and what it takes.

I read a beautiful little paragraph in a book today. It was talking about wanting to stop time, about wanting to slow down a beautiful thing so one could feel it constantly. The paragraph ended by saying, no, that can't be. "Holding the note would spoil the song." I kept rolling that sentence over in my mind. It was so beautiful. Yes, holding the notes, those moments that make it all seem worthwhile, holding them WOULD spoil the song, the song which is everything, the ups and down, the sadnesses, the happy times, the failures, the victories . . . they ARE the song and we have to learn to sit with calmness through it all, so that we will really hear the beauty of those special notes. . .

I was thinking over that "lazy" thing too. I was discussing it with my brother, who, by the way, flew to Hong Kong from Seattle JUST to see me. Now, how's that for a bro!? I was talking about the lazy thing and how I had considered the label and even tried it on for size for a while but then said, **** no! There's no way a lazy person can do the things I've done and Raven, from the sounds of it, I'm not buying it from you either.

Look, basically, no one likes pain and hardship unless he's one sick puppy! So, stop calling yourself derogatory things like "lazy." You ain't lazy. You're human. You're SANE for gods sake!

jolly -- been "slowing down" the food choices? That is kind of funny. I think you realized that. I understand you saying you don't feel like the one making the choices. It's as if what you're putting in your mouth "doesn't count," right? It's kind of like a child closing her eyes and pretending something isn't there anymore.

happy -- just where are you going by the way? Thanks for the encouragement. yes, overanalyzing is a waste of time and heh, ain't no one paying us for it!

chachee -- good for you for getting back into it. Heh, I'm in the same boat as you. The past three months have been **** and I'm a blob because of the way I dealt with them. But, I'm getting back into it. Bought an expensive eight-day macrobiotic kit that has all the prepackaged food you need for 8 days. Now, I figure it's going to be pretty gross and I'm going to be HUNGRY but I wanted to do it. I bought it Monday. It'll be delivered probably Christmas Eve but I'm not going to start until I see 8 days of pretty clear running, which means no excuses, big ones for pigging out or drinking. That may be from Tuesday, the 28th, parties will be over, gym's closing, stable closing for a few days over New Year's. I can go on this semi-starvation diet (for me!) and reset my body. Actually, last week I did pretty much that but with a lot more food. I felt great ('cept for the caffeine withdrawal) and I looked tons better. Skin was totally different.

Yeah, so anyhow, you have a great attitude chachee. Keep it up. Enjoy life, do a little jig for yourself and your successes, even if they're not ALL you wanted. You've got something. Be happy. We do have to count our blessings. I used to hate that saying. Thought it meant you either had no yucky things going on in your life or you were playing some Stepford wife kind of psycho game (are you all old enough to remember Stepford Wives?) But I think now what it means, what it always meant, is that we've got to spit on the hard times and keep our heads raised high (supportive double chins or not!) and DEFY what life throws us by refusing to let it turn us into quivering, whimpering little moany, groany, sarcastic, cynical little wimps. . . . "Heh, you, here's another curve ball, can you hit this one?! and here's another fast one, and now a real slow one, and here, just to see what you're made of comes one that . .. just may . . . knock you unconsicous!! Well, tell me, how do you like it? Can you take it?" . . . **** yeah, I say, come on, (like the song), hit me with your best shot, or rather, TRY to hit me with it. And not being hit, THAT means, not losing sight of our dreams. . . not for anything. And our common dream on this Website is losing weight, healthily, exercising, taking care of ourselves more, being happier about ourselves (and we know what would make us happier!), so let's just, as Yoda and Nike agree, just DO IT! Life "tries" us. We get to decide the outcome.

Wow, that was some post Red, thanks. I liked the thought about holding the note and spoiling the song, so much to think about.
Sounds like Tokyo is a very diverse place and I think I would enjoy it, partly, but would be homesick this time of year. I hope you find your own special way to enjoy the day!
I became curious about these tickerfactory.com things so many people have and when I looked into it, saw the 3FC is not happy about them being part of your signature line and have forbidden them now. So, they have started their own, which I now have (I hope?). I now wonder if tickerfactory is just a low carb place, from what I saw on line?
Are some of you into low carb vs. other kind of diets? Curious.
I was better yesteray foodwise than I was over the previous several days. I will be working out in a little while today as well. I was motivated yesterday and went to my ww meeting and the topic was to exercise.... so here I go!
Take care, enjoy the season, stay healthy and try to get some exercise and eat intelligently.
Linda

ps: my ticker thing didn't work. Bummer. Will try again later.
Linda

Hey Derry, gues what? You have a ticker!! REd, I too liked your analogy about the song. Especially about hearing all the special notes. I need to slow down, so I can connect with myself, my animals, my friends, and really hear and enjoy the whole song, instead of rushing through everything.

Have a great day all.

I didn't see where 3FC had forbidden them, just asked people to change over to the 3FC ones to try to cut down on server to server lag. Maybe I missed that part. Honestly, I didn't even know they were talking about it till you posted that, Linda. Shows you how observant I am. Changed mine, though. Wish they had as many options as tickerfactory, but hey, beggers can't be choosers.

The note thing was a good analogy, Red. And I agree with you on the animals thing. I personally think humans in general are far too presumptuous about their supposed intelligence. I was raised around the native alaskans, who have a great and deep respect for the animals they hunt. I learned that even if I had to kill to eat, which I did, to never take for granted the life I took. Deepness. It's about appreciation and respect, yes indeed. I'm trying to teach that to my children. I don't have to hunt anymore, and I do like to eat meat, so I'm pretty much a happy hypocrite at this point.

Noodle noodle noodle...

Can I go home now?

Hi people, Back after riding today. Had to go out into the big scary ring by the road where the horses always spook and run around and do what they want UNLESS I can have my way. Well, I was able to do more than usual so it felt good. I'm a very nervous rider actually. I jump more at cars flying by then the horse. Big sigh. Wish I wasn't so sensitive. Is it any wonder I get nerve problems (my legs are still bad). People don't realize how sensitive I am because I guess I don't look it. I have all the armor of muscle and fat on me and they must think I'm some sort of tortoise (then again, maybe tortoises are sensitive and that's why they hide in their shell. . . )

Linda -- glad you liked my long post. It's always a disappointment when you write something long and no one seems to notice.

You asked about low carb and stuff. I would never go low carb just for low carb sake. I need the energy. But I am thinking that part of the problem is that I eat too many carbs late at night and that if I eat something it should be protein. The problem is I'm a vegetarian and that makes it hard. Ah, heck, I just eat too much I think. I find that when I eat a macrobiotic diet or close (without any meat) then I lose and lose fast. If I eat vegetables I lose quickly but I naturally (just a habit I guess) start eating the grains and breads and such. I guess it's a comfort food, something about the seratonin levels or something. I tried South Beach and think it's great in the latter stages but I could not do the first stage because I had no energy and, at the time, I was doing heavy weight training. But I think that's an excellent diet.

Linda, is it cold up there in New Hampshire now? I've never been further north than upstate New York. My parents honeymooned in New England though and I would like to go there some day. There is lots of dressage I hear around there, or there was. Do you see many horses?

jolly -- how are you? Are you slowing down? Yet, I hope you didn't misunderstand the analogy with "song." It didn't mean that the song was a pleasant one to listen to, not like "stop and smell the roses." The note one wants to hold is the beautiful thing and the "song" is everything about life, all the hardships and ugliness included. I suppose the word "song" is misleading unless you think of a Shostokovich (spelling?) symphony or something.

raven -- ah, I can see now the influence of the native alaskans. I wanted to be an Indian (Native American) when I was a kid. I lived in the woods practically, had this deep respect for nature and love of animals. And that's when I started refusing to eat meat. I just didn't want them to die for me. These days, I cannot think of the horrors of the slaughterhouses and the farm factories and eat meat. And eggs I only buy from hen that are supposedly running around. Still, I buy leather things, though not much. We can do little things but I think the most important is respect and appreciation as you say and not wasting. Oh, and I like your ticker, very austere. Oh, a sad note, raven, don't know if you follow dressage at all, but did you hear that fabulous horse, Farbenfroh, had to be put down following an operation. Here's a link to the thread where they were talking about him on Ultimate Dressage. Do you know that forum?
http://www.ultimatedressage.com/foru...66e8614de3478f

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Okay, anyone else out there I missed? I hope not. Take care all and write soon. It sure gets lonely around here this time of year.

Today is a holiday here but not Christmas Eve or Christmas. Since I do work at a newspaper the only day of the year it's closed other than a press holiday once every other month or so is New Year's Day. Today, by the way, is the Emperor's birthday. He's 71. I should have been down at the Imperial Palace this morning waving a little Japanese flag at the Imperial Family when they came out on the balcony (behind bulletproof glass) to wave back. Instead I was out riding my horse. I will be executed at dawn.

Hi All.

Off work early today, as our Commissioner has given us an extra half day for Christmas. I was thinking I might take the family out and go watch all the crazies at the mall. Just something fun to do. We have a dinner tonight with friends,then take them to the airport tomorrow morning.

We have three people coming over to the house for Christmas dinner. Just a casual, no big deal thing. We are having hamburgers, potato salad, watergate salad, fruit salad, pasta salad and some veggies. Easy but good comfort food.

Is it just me, or does it seem like not a lot of people are in the holiday mood? Just something I tend to see more and more each year. Disappointing, because I think people tend to focus more on the materialistic things, rather than the true spirit of the holidays. We all get caught up in that sometimes, but when it gets to the point it makes you angry or grouchy, then things must be re-assessed and taken back into perspective. It's not about money, it's about spending time together and remembering there are others much less fortunate than us.

That is why I feel so good that I made all those scarves this year and donated them to the abused women and children's shelter. It's not much, but when they are a little warmer when they are standing at the bus stop, then it makes me feel good.

I'll be signing off for a few days. I wanted to wish everyone much happiness, health and peace for Christmas. I'll be back on Monday.

Chach

OK. Raven, I lied. . .

Red, I am sorry you think I interpreted your analogy the wrong way. I guess I thought that it was ok for us to have different opinions, approaches to losing weight, ways of looking at things. I guess i was wrong. I only meant that for ME, I tend to rush through life like it is a race, and not experience it. I am not slowed down and connected enough to any of it to even hear the song.

Everyone, I wish you the best holidays, and best of luck with your weight loss. As well as new homes, new jobs, health, and all the rest. Peace to you.

Hi Chachee -- thanks for popping in. Heh, I didn't know you made all these scarves for the shelter. What a sweet thing to do! Now that's the spirit! I don't know about people feeling the spirit or not since I'm not in the country. Maybe they never did, maybe there's just more and more commercialization and so you feel the materialistic part even stronger now. As long as there are people like you, and there are, we'll be Ok, right? Have a great Christmas!

jolly -- jolly, dear. what is this note (chord?) of defensiveness I read in your post. "Not allowed to have other opinions" What ever are you talking about? The analogy wasn't mine. I'd read it and all I was doing was pointing out the I thought that person's use of the word "song" was different than the one you were using, in apparent reference to the my quote of that sentence. That's all. It was nothing personal and had absolutely zilcho to do with your personal ways of losing weight, looking at the world etc. Settle, girl, settle! But then, this is exactly what you're saying you so very much need. Calm and slowing down. You must realize, it's very, very difficult to express tones in email messages. You've got to have faith that anyone writing here, at least, not the established people, are going to get nasty or anything. OK?

Ho ho ho chickies
Twas the night before the night before Christmas and chaos abounds... Someone slow down the hamster wheel please.

Good concepts on holding a note too long and losing the whole spirit of the season. I am trying to imagine at this minute what a perfect Christmas would be. Me and DH and my family members in a cabin in the deep woods. A fresh Christmas tree scenting up things. Totally homemade decorations - paper chains with that awful starchy stickly glue that didn't really stick or that thick yellow stuff that always "crisped up" and closed the slit on the rubber glue applicator - LePage's brand I think it was. Home made gifts - not the prettiest but made with so much love they can barely contain themselves. A nice simple dinner, a crackling fire and some roasted marshmallows for dessert. Poke your head out the window to a night so silent you can actually hear the snow gently fall. Remembering why the best gift of all is to be alive and all the things you should be grateful for. Having "enough" --- enough to make you happy, meet your basic needs but not so much that you take things for granted. That would be my ideal Christmas.

Wishing you all peace, love and happiness over the next few days...

BEAUTIFUL post, happy!! Thank you and a Merry Christmas!

Good morning/day to you all! Loved the analogy of the perfect Christmas. I do think people seem more into the holiday this year than in the past, I think it's a good thing as long as it's not all that materialists, but centered on family and friends.
I hope you are all happy and healthy and can take some times for yourselves and reflect the meaning of this special time in terms of what is valuable in your lives. Hope that makes sense!
Red, yes there are tons of horses and horse farms up here in NH, quite a bit of dressage as well.
That quote about holding the note too long reminded me of the saying "all good things must come to an end" and such is life. Think about the good people who are no longer with us and think about the wonderful situations you might have been part of in the past that have dissolved. Everything has it's "time" and recognizing and accepting when these things are "done" and not "holding the note too long" is important.
I saw an interview on TV yesterday, while wrapping gifts, with a TV performer on it. He was saying that this was the last season his show would be on, though they are way up there in the ratings, it was better to go out on a "good note" and not let the show go down the tubes. Good point, and a good point about many things in life, I guess?
Tonight, I hope, will be the start of a fun family Christmas.... we are all basically healthy, my kids will be with us (as they are teens, I begin to see a time in the future when they might not be with us), our small immediate family will have a nice dinner (our fondue and artichokes with french bread) and we will be playing Christmas music with candles lit and we will have wine. We may open one gift before bedtime, there will be no snow, sadly, but that's just the way it goes!
Happy Holiday to those of you who are celebrating and good thoughts to those of you who aren't!
We are going away overnight, tomorrow, and will be back late in the day on Sunday if you all don't hear from me.
Linda

All this talk about notes. Music analogies. Harmony, discord, songs...

I think sometimes when we speak in analogies, some people relate, some people don't.

This is a difficult time of year for so many people. We haven't necessarily forgotten what it's all about. In fact, sometimes we know it all too well, and that is why it becomes so difficult for us. I face the loss of my mother, the slow dying of my father, the alienation for whatever reason of my brothers, and the fact that I am so far away from everything I grew up with. Trust me, I'm not setting myself up as some sort of object of misery. I am blessed in so many ways, and I truly understand that. It is not the "things" I long for, it is the people who made my life what it is. The transition from daughter and sister to only mother and girlfriend has been a rocky one. There are so many out there who face battles of loneliness, heartache, worry - severe financial issues, health issues, etc. during this time of year.

Yesterday again I was moved to tears watching my horses frolic in the cold. Since I can remember knowing what a horse was, I'd wanted one. How many people can say they had a 40 year old dream come true? These beautiful creatures don't just "belong" to me, they are a part of me. It goes beyond dogs, cats, whatever else I've ever had because it is a partnership based in trust. They are a prey animal, we are a predator, and yet - they trust us. I put my life in their hooves every time I climb on their back. They put their life in my hands every day of they are on this planet. I feel unbelievably honored that they have chosen to trust me like they do. And I feel tremendously lucky to be able to offer this to my children, especially during this time of the year. These animals are graced by God, IMHO, and give far more than they take.

This thread has taken us down some interesting paths this year. Many of us have gotten to know each other, spoken on the phone, are making plans to meet, or have met.

We are all so different, in so many ways.

The common thread is that we are all trying to figure out the best way to live in health, and how to lose the weight we carry. We are all going to do this in different ways, we know this. We all know that each person has to find their own path, and we respect that. What works for one person will not necessarily work for another. That doesn't just apply to food, but to perspectives as well.

The beauty of this site is that we are all allowed that. Were that it this way in all aspects of our lives.

I truly hope that each and every one of you find peace during this season.

*warmest hugs to each of you*

Happy Day after Christmas chickies. Hope Santa was good to you all. We had a nice time with the family. But when it came time to leave, my mom started hugging me and crying which of course started the waterworks with me. It was hard. I told her it's not forever and as soon as we get settled in she MUST come and visit which she promised she would. Makes me even more eager to find a new house as soon as possible. I came home and started going through things in the house and tagging them for taking with us in the car, to the apartment or to storage. There is SO much to go through I probably should have started this sooner but I am a procrastinator. And messing up my back didn't help either. I'm better now but have to be careful I don't do something sudden. It's also sad for me to realize that in 3 days I will be leaving and moving on. I will adjust but I think it's a period of "mourning" I must go through.

Today the husband is disassembling the computer furniture and the cable modem box goes back this week. That means most probably no computer service after today. I'm not sure I can exist without the computer. Would rather give up the TV and my music! So this will be my last post until the first week in January when we get settled into the new apartment and get the cable service set up.

I wish you all a very happy and healthy new year. Ring it in nicely but don't overdo it. See you in 2005!

Happy - I'm going to miss you! I know you won't see this till you get your computer set up again, but I'm thinking about you. What you said about saying g'bye to your mom made me get all teary... I hope the move goes smoothly, please let us know how you're doing as soon as you can!

Well .. it's the happy merry week after Christmas and the new year is approaching rapidly. My plans are to stay home, listen to the fireworks everyone in the neighborhood is no doubt going to be shooting off, and sip wine by the fire. Or maybe I'll play World of Warcraft till I fall asleep at the keys. I'm a nerd.

Ok, next week it will be Back to Basics. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know that's where I need to be. I've lost sight of all the steps I had to take just to get to the point where I was on a good life plan. I guess I'll start the thread this weekend, and I will start outlining exactly what the basics were and will be again, for me.

I hope everyone has a wonderful new years eve/day... stay safe, people!