Hey Chach - Thank you for the kind words. I did talk to her for a long time, and we laughed together. It's frightening, that something can hit so unexpectedly. I know it's not an immediate death sentence for her, and I know people have managed to survive not only MS but much worse for very long times. It means a lot of changes for her, a lot less independence. I think that's the most frightening part.

Did your grandmother have the tests done yesterday?

I thought that treadmill was new. That's rotten that the motor would go out so soon!! I'm a little worried about the motor in mine, but .. .it's ancient! I'm really lucky it's held up as well as it has for so long.

This is the first holiday season we have to worry about anyone but our little unit.. and it's already causing consternation in the ranks. :lol: Richard is all grumbly about having my ex and his gf over for Thanksgiving. I wouldn't make an issue about it if he had his own place, but right now he's living in one of those extended stay places, and geez... com'on, it's THANKSGIVING!! :rolleyes: Some people get a little to wrapped up in their own little worlds sometimes.

Happy!! Glad to hear you're still kicking! Feeble as it may be! ;) I know this must be hectic as all get out for you, but good to know the house is showing! Hope everything else is going ok!

Well, I was going to do pilates this morning because I thought my daughter was going to be using the treadmill, but she decided she's going to do it at night. Ok. So, the lure of the treadmill won out, and I did another two miles. I managed one 2 minute run (jog) interval, and then did a few at the end with 1 minute walk, 1 minute run instead of the 2 minute walk. So small progress for my second day. I'm happy. Did my 2 miles in about 24 minutes this time, so cut about a minute off my time. Now I'm just sweating all over the desk.

Food was better yesterday, not perfect. I didn't avoid the M&Ms after lunch. I didn't avoid the chocolate after dinner. All in all though, much better than I have been doing. I didn't get the 4 bottles of water in that I wanted, but I got 3. Today I'll work towards 4.

And that horrifying high on the scale has dropped back to a somewhat less horrifying but still disturbing 187. My first goal is to simply lose the weight I gained and get back to my low of 172. Then I'll focus on my larger goals of getting down to 135, 5 pounds at a time. :D

Hey Raven,

I think it's weird that you and I both gained back 15 pounds almost, huh? Working it off slowly, one little ounce at a time. :)

Oh, I wanted to share that I found a wonderful bread at the store yesterday. It's called "Watching my Carbs" and although I'm not really watching my carbs, one slice is 60 calories, 4 grams of fiber and only 0.5 grams of fat. It's a pretty healthy slice also. On WW it's a free item, so I'm all about that!

I'm sorry Richard is being strange. The holidays are about giving thanks and helping out those less fortunate. Maybe he'll be visited by a holiday spirit and be reminded of that fact. As if you are dying to get back together with your ex, but all men think like that. "If he comes over for dinner, she's going to sleep with him" is their mentality. My hubby is the same way! MEN!

Grandma didn't have her tests done. She's decided that she really doesn't want to know what is going on with her, and has signed a directive that no invasive procedures are to be performed on her. Basically, she told my mom that she is 87 and has lived a good life. She's ready to die. So, they will get that notarized and on file this Friday. The doc's best guess, because she can't do the procedures she wants to, is that my gram has cancer of the stomach and has internal bleeding. Can't say I wouldn't do the same thing, though.

So, here I am again, working towards the goal of being under 200 by the end of the year. I think I'll change my ticker to reflect that.

Happy Tuesday!

Chach

Hey all. Sorry you have been lonely. I got back Saturday from my trip, but brought a bad cold with me. I haven't been up to much since. No working out. No horse. NOthing but snot, snot, and more snot. (sorry for the grossness)

I finally feel like it is breaking up. But, am still going to take it easy until it is better. If I sleep ok tonight, I will try to get to the gym tomorrow. Weights if nothing else.

Sorry to hear about all the family and friend worries you guys have been having. I hear you, Raven, on worrying if this is always goign to be the response when life gets "lifey." I worry about that too. But, look at all the patterns you have changed. It takes time and baby steps. I think with a lot of practise and effort, we can change that pattern too.

Take it easy all. Celebrate the victories.

Jolly

Jolly - Welcome Back!! I'm sorry to hear you're still feeling crappy... I hope it clears up soon! I know Valeska was down for a full week with an upper respiritory thing, then coughing in general and stuff for a good several days after that. Thank you for the reminder about the patterns I've changed. I needed to hear that. You're right. I told Valeska this morning that when I get discouraged about not being able to start over this time and jump on the treadmill and run like I used to, I remember back so many years ago, the year my mom died, and how completely out of shape I was, and SO overweight. It almost makes me cry now to remember back then, I decided to start using the treadmill I'd inherited from my mom. I told myself if she could do it, darn it, so could I, right? First time I got on that thing, I couldn't walk for more than about 5 minutes at 2 or 2.5 mph. The next time, I walked for 7 minutes. Then 10, etc. You're right. I've changed a lot about my life, definitely for the better. Thank you.

Chach - I've found that I really like wraps, and I use the "low carb" wraps - like you, not because of the carb issue, because of the calorie count! :lol: Whatever works, right? Men are odd. Richard has been a little better lately. He's moody. Whoever said women are the only hormonal ones had a screw loose. ;) I can certainly respect your grandmother's decision. It's one I hope I never have to make, but .. sometimes I think we hang around far too long for no particularly good reason. I dunno.

Pilates, yes! I finally did it. And it kicked my butt. Argh. Ohwell... just like I did last time, just keep doing it. This time I *KNOW* it gets easier, I'm not just hoping.

That was my positive. The negative was Dairy Queen (to include a blizzard) last night. :o

But I came to an important realization this morning. I was really down on myself for eating junk last night, and then I found myself trying to use it as a rationalization to not work out. You know.. the "I've already blown it, why not just forget about the working out, it's not like it's going to correct the over eating anyway." Tsk. I was perusing 3FC journals and something just made me decide to go do pilates. And then writing in my own journal, I realize that even though I THOUGHT I had them as seperate issues in my mind, I truly did not. Intertwined tightly are working out, food, and water. If one fails, the other two collapse along with it. And that's silly. They are totally seperate entities, if you will. What I eat has NOTHING to do with whether I work out. If I drink water has NOTHING to do with what I eat. Etc. If I eat poorly, that's one issue. It has no bearing on whether I should or should not work out. I suppose that seems REALLY easy to get, but it was a real revelation for me. How odd. The three things are totally independent of one another. Wow.

I think I'll go fill up my water bottle now. :D

Howdy Ladies,

Jolly: Welcome home. Sorry you aren't feeling well. Take it easy and just concentrate on getting better!

Raven: 3 separate entities, huh? Why haven't I thought about that either? Usually when I eat badly, I've already had my water and I allow my bad eating because I exercised already. They shouldn't affect each other, but they really do, huh?! Good ramblings! We swapped out the treadmill and hubby is putting it together tonight for me. Second round!

I've really been thinking about my goals and how I keep slipping away from them. I think my goal for December (yes, I know, always thinking ahead) is going to be focused solely on exercise. I plan on walking two miles a day on the treadmill, five days a week. That will be 23 walking days, which will be 46 miles walked. If I get adventurous, I'll shoot for 50 miles, but we'll see how it goes.

I'm feeling fat this morning and need to be reminded of the end goal, not just to be happy where I am right now.

Happy Wednesday!

Chach

Hey Y'all. My eating is actually not too bad right now. Amazing how less hungry you feel when your sinesus are blocked. I really, really, really want to get back to the gym, though. I was slipping so much the weeks before my trip. I just know I need to feel better first. So, again, if I sleep tonight, tomorrow I work out.

Wish me luck.

Have a wonderful day, all.

Ya know, since both our threads seem to be thinning, maybe we should combine for December????? Just a thought.

I've made it back!!!!!
 

People, I just got my computer connected!!!! I actually figured it out!! A friend GAVE me a computer!! I will be back. I've missed you all so much. :dance: :dance: :dance:

Red!! How wonderful to see you again! I've missed you! You realize you have a LOT of updating to do, yes?? :D

Jolly - Just take your workouts easy, don't overdo it! I hope you're feeling better tonight!

Ok, well .. today food was much better, but work was so hectic I forgot water completely! Argh.

Had a great night working with Eve. We're working on in hand work (on the ground with only a bridle) and she's really picking it up quickly. I can see our dance getting more refined slowly but surely. :) And did as much hoof rasping as I could before I lost daylight. Was a good night!

Hello! Welcome back, Red. Glad you got a computer, and hope to hear more from you. How are things going.

Raven, glad you had a good barn night. I have to get out by my boy tonight, and hope he doesn't make me pay too much for my long absence.

I finally slept last night. ONly woke up once. So, I did go to the gym this morning. I did 20 minutes of cardio, then my lower body weights. Felt good to make it back. I even hopped on the scale, and have not done too badly, considering vacation, sick, and not making it to the gym for about two weeks (and pretty sporadically before that). So it is back to business for me.

Have a great day all.

sleepless in tokyo
 

Heh Raven, Jolly, thanks for the welcome backs. I got back out of bed 'cause I couldn't sleep. Too much coffee, thinking I was going to get some work done tonight, then never did and now I can't sleep. Two stories to write. Three more on the burner. Deadlines loom. Ugh. Things are more hectic than ever but seeing as today I finally got this computer hooked up and the ADSL modem that I had sitting around for over a year, I'd say I'm seeing some light in the end of the tunnel. Please, please, please, let that be true.

Raven, I can see I have some catching up to do here but hopefully I can just wing it from now on. Never been one to peruse the past posts. Feels so lurkerish! Well, gotta get some work in if I'm spending these hours up. Will catch you all on the fly. Ciao tutti!

Good morning chicks! Had an odd morning - knee was really sore this morning, the only thing I can think of is that I slept on it wrong. Really, it felt fine last night. So I limited myself this morning to about 20 minutes of stretching, and called that enough. Tomorrow I'll get back into either pilates or the treadmill.

Jolly - Glad to hear you're starting to feel better, get some sleep, and that you're able to start working out again! That's great!

The food is slowly starting to come in line.. yesterday was very good, better than it has been in a long time. Yeah, the water was a bust, but ohwell. Today I grabbed a bottle of water before too much else got in the way. I also brought leftover chicken for lunch. At some point I really need to break the habit of getting a "treat" after lunch. I can feel the "need" for it diminishing day by day. Interesting how that works.

Hey Red! Cross posting...

Actually I was more interested in YOUR life since you've been MIA! How is the job situation working out? How is your horse? How is your riding? How are YOU!? Valeska was so tickled that you're able to get online again! She really missed your e-mails. :D So did I.

Hello ladies.

Welcome back Red!!! So nice to see your "face" around here again! Yes, updates when you have time, because we don't know what is going on in your life!! I'm so glad you are back.

Jolly: Great job on getting back to the gym. It's all coming back into focus, so I'm glad the funk is over for you. (Or at least you can see the end again!)

Raven: Sorry to hear your knee hurts. Must be a sleep thing. I was up and on the treadmill this morning for 45 minutes at 3.3 mph. Felt really good!

We need to start thinking of the new thread's name for next year. Was thinking about that the other night. Time to start getting goals together for the new year. Wow, 2004 flew by for me.

Happy Thursday!

Chach

this face seems to be the best one I can muster these days
 

I did nothing on the stories all day yesterday. I don't know. It was a kind of overload, a work paralysis. I get that way when there is just too much to do and no one to help me do it, which is the case at work these days. It's a very challenging situation because the work in itself is not interesting, interviews with company executives and such to then write publicity stories. It's a situation where I really needed to be "doing" it for someone and there is no one because so many people have quit and the man who was in charge is busy with other work. The advertising department doesn't care once they have the ads in their pockets. They're on to the next job and more often than not have made things hard for me with promises they've made the clients.

I long for the days of just doing shift work, nothing went home, boring as ****, pretty mindless, slapping headlines on stories and writing photo captions, playing with page layouts etc., this other stuff is one headache after the next with no sense of accomplishment because the finished product is nothing I'm ecstatic about. Then again, I was saying I was bored, I was saying my talents were wasted. Now that I have challenging work, I'm moaning that it's too much. It IS a lot and it's not the work I want to do, interesting interviews with inspiring people, then again maybe I have to look for that. Company execs, after all, can offer a lot of inspiration. I have to remember that most of the people I have interviewed gave me very interesting insights into things. Just because I can't use those things in a story because of the story's focus doesn't mean I shouldn't relish the interview experience for itself.. . .Must always look on how these situations are positive experiences, look for the GOLD in them thar hills!!

Ok, enough of the work details. Not that anyone wants to hear. . .

I am sitting here still procrastinating on the work. Yesterday was a total waste, except for getting my computer hooked up and online again, and that was MAJOR, so I guess it wasn't a total waste after all.

Raven, can't get out to the horse. This is more of the stress than anything, not being somewhere I want to be. But am doing all this work in order to pay the bills. If I don't get out there there's no sense in doing all this work. Have to just relish the times I CAN get out there. Try to find ways to streamline work and the inflow of money and my having the time to get out to the stable and ride.

The gym, the same thing, all the sitting around, all the stress with work, is playing severe havoc on my legs. It is a lack of exercise and nerves, poor circulation and such I think that is making my legs go numb because there was a time there when I forced myself to get to the gym and they were getting better.

All in all, I'm trying to remain positive and say things will be alright and that this is training that I have to go through in order to develop. Being able to remain calm and productive under pressure, this is something I have to work on. Now I tend to just freeze up and not do anything. Ok, enough of me.

******

Raven, what's with your knee? Did you hurt it somehow or is this just a chronic pain thing? I, by the way, like your turtle moving along its weight loss path down there. Where do you get these things?

Chachee, thanks for the welcome back. How have you been? I see you have a pumpkin ticker there. Looks like you're moving right along with your weight loss. How I envy you all!

Jolly, what's this, you were away from the gym? What happened? I hope it was nothing bad. Oh, I too, look forward to long sweaty workouts. I really do love to exercise and not being able to or having to do so under the gun is horrible. Onward march!!

Good morning everyone :wave:

I haven't made it to the gym yet this morning. I woke up with some pretty bad lower back pain. I took some stuff for it, and am going to go after work. If it still hurts, I will do a light workout, then sit in the hot tub. hope it helps.

Eating is out of sorts - stress still, I know. Holidays coming up, worrying about money, still haven't gotten a part time job. I know, I know - blah blah blah blah blah. I need to get it sorted out, and get over it.

Have a good day all. I hope everyone feels better, more motivated, whatever.