Good morning chicks..

I know we've all been having a rough time of it lately. I hope the coming couple months smooth out for all of us. It completely blows me away that it's already October!! Where did this year go! Yesterday I was dusting a little around the house, and it struck me that it smelled like winter was coming. I know for some parts, it's already here. Valeska mentioned that it was starting to feel like Christmas already. Time moves too quickly lately.

This weekend was a horsie one, I had friends come in from out of town, friends from a horse board I belong to. We spent all day Sunday together. Saturday was mostly spent schlepping around the house, I'm afraid to say. Valeska has a really nasty head cold, so she didn't want to do anything or go anywhere. I should have used my time to align the belt on the treadmill, but I think I just needed to STOP for a day. Just not do anything at all. I feel like I've been in fast forward forever.

I have to admit, yesterday with the horses and one woman who really knows her stuff made me even more anxious to get moving forward with my riding. As if last weekend's symposium didn't do enough of that already? We found another barn about 15 minutes from the house that will work as a replacement for the one we're at if our current one can't drop her price. I simply cannot afford to pay her board AND buy the round bales. She only wants to throw a couple flakes per horse a day, and that is simply not enough for horses in a paddock with no graze at all. Ok, anyway... enough horsie grumbling.

I'm starting to feel more and more motivated to get this weight off again. I can't say I've truly been maintaining, the weight is coming back on - even if it is in incredibly small increments. I think that's why it's so dangerous. You don't see this huge jump. You see it waver a half pound between weights for a week or more, then it actually hits the upper number solid. Then it does that again, and it's sooooo insidious! It's so easy to say "oh, it's only a couple pounds, that will come off quick when I get back OP..." Yeah, well, I've managed to "couple pounds" myself up 14 pounds from my lowest point this year. Not good, and I need to stop fooling myself. I was just about to start typing something like "but it really isn't that bad, because it's only gone up a couple pounds in the last couple months........" :yikes: :nono: Boy I could rationalize my way all over the place, huh?

I think the woman who was here yesterday helping me with Arashi really peeled back the rose colored film from my eyes, too. Because as I watched her work with him, it became abundantly clear that the problems that I'm having with him aren't HIM, they're ME! Blah. I knew that. I knew it really well. I guess I just didn't want to see it. *nose wrinkle* Sort of like the pounds creeping back on. Yeah.

So, I can whine and complain and feel sorry for myself and rationalize and feel depressed and eat more because I'm depressed, or I can start getting my REAR in GEAR and get that treadmill adjusted and start running again. And stop milking that darn thing as an excuse! Argh!

Right... so..... HAPPY MONDAY!! :D :D

Hi Ladies,

Alright, you all can smack me now, but I finally go some things done....I went last night and mailed (yes, purchased, wrapped and mailed) all but one box of Christmas presents. I had to clear out the computer room because hubby's parents are coming in three weeks. I figured, "Heck, all the stuff is here, why not just tape up the boxes and get them out in the mail!". I did such and now I have only one package left to send out. I need to remake some pillows and then I can get it out. I feel so good, knowing that everything is done and I only need to buy stocking presents for hubby. I put the last of my son's presents on layaway and will pick it up next week. Just didn't want to run the risk of not having it here. It's a desk and he loves it. Only three left and I needed to make sure it wasn't gone by the time my paycheck got here.

I also purchased all (except flour) of the baking items I need to do the Bake Sale. I bought stuff to make chocolate chunk brownies, choc chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, oatmeal raisin cookies, pumpkin bread, banana bread and apple cinnamon bread. I'll get that stuff baked up and ready on Thursday.

I also got almost half the hand made clay ornaments done that I wanted. Sat my son down and he played with playdough while I sculpted the ornaments.

Oh, and I also made jalepeno cheese bread in our bread machine. Yummy!

I managed to get all that stuff done, but didn't get on my treadmill once. I did this morning and it reminded me that absence does not make the treadmill grow fonder! My eating was so-so, but no exercise. I gotta get back 100% on track. I have my WW bracelet on today and it's a good reminder of why I am doing this.

Linda: I know you are probably overwhelmed by doing all those quilts. Try to get as many done as possible and I know the families will appreciate it. The catty-ness is incredible, isn't it?? Why do women do that??

Tracy: I just love your posts! Untie bad spellrz. It's all good. Like Raven said, we all speak Typoneese!

Jolly: Hang in, and get that payroll done! Want to cut me a check also??

Raven: Good luck with the stables. I love what you wrote about those "couple pounds". How very true is that? Amazing how quickly those pounds add up! Hop on that treadmill with me and lets get going! I can imagine you behind me saying, "Oh, please...you call that a workout?". :)

I got the call on Friday for an interview with another department. I still haven't heard anything on the other one I interviewed for, but we shall see. Keep me in your prayers or your fingers crossed for this week. If I'm suppossed to leave, it will happen. If not, I'll stick it out. I can rise above....I can do this!

Happy Monday!

Chach

Hi All,
I am sooooooo inundated here that I just want to curl in a ball and nap and hide away from it all. The phone rings constantly, appointments every day all sorts of things going on, things to plan and get ready for, and they want me to learn new stuff for the new job and next month I will take a short trip down to the office where one person will TURN OVER some stuff to me. That means (and we all KNOW this) that I will be handling some new stuff before I'M EVEN AT THE NEW PLACE. I don't want to think about it. When I get up in the middle of the night for the pee run, I find that I am dreaming about moving.

And, I have had some major dental work done on Friday because I'm trying to get all the doctor / dentist things done before I move and have to find new ones not to mention trying to get time off when you are new on the job. Had 2 teeth filed down for crowns, a nasty extraction and a bone graft on Thursday. My mouth is all stitched up and I look perfect for Halloween.

Needless to say that dieting has been the last thing on my mind. I am getting my exercise in other ways and the eating has been somewhat erratic and on the fly.

I have been peeking in here but mostly quick flybys. And it will probably stay that way until well after the new year when we get settled in. I just hope I don't bust out of the last of the clothes that fit me. :(

Good luck with the current jobs, interviews, new jobs, horsie relocations, preparations for the holidays (Chachee are you for rent????? ;) :lol: ) and all the other things that are keeping us all busy.

Press on everyone, that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

Serenity now!

I need to get back to the point where I am committed. As opposed to needing to be committed. I am stress eating. Letting myself get overtired, then sick. Not exercising because of the tired and sick. Like Raven, the weight is slowly creeping. I need to stop. I need to trust that what is meant to happen, will happen, and not stress out about every little thing.

So, good luck for all of us. Yikes! We are a busy, crazy bunch, aren't we?

It occurs to me that the rest of my life is going to be busy and crazy. Jolly, that one line in your post really got me to thinking.

If I cannot figure out how to manage my life so that I am satisfied with my eating and still not gaining, so that my exercise feels healthy and good - not forced to the point where I resent it, so that my caloric outgo matches (or exceeds) my input for the larger percentage of time than does the reverse, I will never lose weight. Or I might, then I will gain it back again.

You really brought home that this is not a diet. This is not a "lose weight then what" kind of thing. This is my life. Every day. Every minute. Every breath.

If I cannot give up some sort of food, then I either must find an exercise I love to do so that it will equal out, or I must face the consequence of gaining weight, and obviously I am not happy with that. I have choices to make, and by not making them, I'm allowing them to be made for me. Even not making a choice is making a choice.

I think you just gave me a gift, Jolly.

I just caught up on reading the posts you guys have made over the last few days and I totally agree with the philosophy of this having to be the rest of your life. If we don't adopt a plan that this is the rest of your life and you have to lose and maintain with a healthy lifestyle, you WILL find yourself going through this process again and again over the next several years - if you LIVE THAT LONG!!!!! :shrug:
I have to tell you all about my day yesterday.....I had an unexpected trip to the emergency room yesterday morning with chest pain,
my doctor will be following up with me later this afternoon. They don't feel I had a
heart attack, but ran all the appropriate tests. I was SOOOO scared!
They do think I have what is called Costochonditis, check this out:
http://www.diagnose-me.com/cond/C598186.html#H1
I woke up at about 2:00 am, very early Mon. am and had terrible chest pain, it felt like someone was pushing as hard as they could on my chest, it was scary. I ended up in the EMR at about 6:30 am after figuring out that this wasn't going to go away.
At any rate, having a "scare" like that makes you really think about maintaining a healthy lifestyle and making sure you don't let the teeny tiny increments of pounds creep back a bit at at time. NO way, not me!
Chach, I echo the "can I rent you". From what you tell us, you must be one of the most organized people ever! You go girl! I admire your approach to everything in life - such enthusiasm! Gosh, getting Christmas gifts wraped already, etc. - I just bow to you with admiration!!!!
Well, tired me needs to rest.... it's been a very rough few days. BUT, before I sign off, I went to my ww meeting and lost .6 this week! I almost didn't go as I was feeling really "low", and this check pain is really right there all the time, even after an IV with intiinflamatory meds and 24 hours of ibuprophen every 4 hours....
I am still up .4 from where I had a gain of one pound the week before, but at least I dropped a bit off. Amazing how easy it is to put a pound back on vs. chiselling a bit off!
Linda, still sore but not as worried as I was!

Hello ladies,

Happy: Yep, rent me out. I just gotta make enough to quit my job! You think that is possible? Hmmm... I wanted to wish you the best of luck with this new job and your new adventure. How very exciting!

Jolly: Do you think if they committed you that we could get a group discount? Just checking out my options.....might be a way for us all to finally get together, even though our arms would be tied behind our backs!! Damn white jackets!

Raven: Ah, the light goes on, huh? Amazing how one of us can post something that just totally hits home. I guess I've just been ignoring the "lifestyle" change that comes. Maybe it's my stubborn-ness!

Linda: Oh my goodness, what a scare. You be careful and take it easy!!!! Thanks for the bow of admiration! As previously stated, I would rent out if y'all could cover my current salary!

Alright, tonight starts my baking for the Bake Sale this weekend. Tonight will be breads. Tomorrow will be cookies. I'll need some strength tomorrow night, but tonight should be okay. Pumpkin, banana and then apple cinnamon bread. Yummy!

Oh, and job interview on Thursday. Wish me luck. Didn't hear anything from the other one, so I am guessing I didn't get it. That is okay, I am alright with it. All I can do is my best and wherever that lands me I'll be sure to stand on my own two feet!

Happy Wednesday!

Chach

Good luck with the job interview Chach! I always thought (but don't really want to do this and it would be hard to build a clientelle, I think) that being a "personal assistant" of some sort would be a fun business to start up. Just think, you could be running errands for some people, stopping by a home and preparing a meal, refrigerating it with warm up instructions, setting a table and then heading off to grocery shop for another person, etc. I would think that would be fun and there are those who are just so busy, like career moms with busy lives, who would find your organization a dream come true! There might be a career mom who wants the homemade cookies for the school bake sale and stays up until midnight to get it done, wouldn't she just LOVE someone like you to call upon? At any rate, it would take awhile to build up income and clientelle, but it would be so cool, I think.
Enough dreaming for me.
Still not feeling well today, I was hoping for some miraculous recovery, but I guess not. I've bailed out on my quilt group for this morning and am being VERY lazy and low keyed. I hope I can just take it easy and not do myself any further injury.
Linda

Chachee - Good luck with the interview!! I know how frustrating it is to go through the job hunting process. I hate it! Please let us know how things go. I don't know how you manage to do everything you do. I am so NOT a homemaker. I hate to cook, only like cleaning when I WANT to clean, baking ... well, once in a while is ok. Couldn't sew my way out of a paper bag. Can't even keep up with paying the few bills I need to watch each month. I need a wife. Will you marry me? Oh drat, you're already married. *grump* All the good ones are taken. ;)

Linda - I know a very good friend of the family suffered from repeated bouts of chest pain, and he was positive he was having a heart attack several times, but there was never any evidence that was what was going on. They kind of shuffled him off saying he had angina, but I don't think they ever really figured out what it was. Must be frightening. I hope you feel better soon.

Valeska is still sick with the crud. I'm going to go to the stables, bite the bullet and tell Amanda we need to move the horses and hopefully she'll let me go in two weeks instead of the "legally required" 30 days. I don't want to move them, I like Amanda's place, but I just can't afford it without her covering the hay. :( That and the child support is iffy at best right now without the ex having a job. *sigh*

I feel like I can never get caught up with anything... always ten things that I've forgotten about, let slip, am behind on. And not little silly things either, important things, like the car insurance, or the car registration, or the kids' homeschooling paperwork. Too many things for one little brain. I'm feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed lately. This job is a huge part of it. The commute sucks up two hours plus every day, I don't get a lunch or breaks to speak of because once I get here, it's nearly impossible to leave during the day. I hate being the one everyone whines at. I mean... these guys can't even change the paper in the plotter. If ANYthing goes wrong, they come whining to me, and why? Because they either want me to make it magically all better, or "handle it." Somehow. Call someone, even if they could do the same thing. It's getting to the point where I'm beginning to feel like everyone's assistant, and that's not what I'm supposed to be doing. Or not what I was TOLD I was supposed to be doing. Wow. Now *I'M* the one whining! Ha! *grump*

HEy all. Well, finally made it back to the gym. Last night, did a bit of the elliptical trainer, then raquetball. Did a bit of elliptical this mroning as well. Need to get the intensity back up, but right now I will take one day at a time. I have decided not to do raquetball next session. I am supposed to be in the baby beginner league. There are a couple of ladies in there that are quite good - have been playing for years. It is very depressing and frustrating trying to learn when you are getting your butt seriously kicked - like you can't even return their serves as they know where to put them. I am lucky to drag my butt to where the ball is and actually hit it. Aim is not a concept I am familiar with yet. Plus, it is hurting my ankles a lot. Part of me wants to back out now, but I would feel like a quitter. I will see.

Derry, hope they get a good handle on what is wrong, and you are feeling better soon. Chachee, you wonder woman you. good luck with your interview. Raven, hope to get an "e" soon. and that all goes well with the barn.

Take it easy all.

Good morning, everyone.

Raven: Shoot, if you had only asked me about six years ago...then I was a free agent still! Honestly, I don't know where I find the time, but I just do. Sorry to hear you have to move the horsies again. You already have another place lined up, right? Forgive me, but you have three horses, right? Eve, Arashi and Shadow? Sometimes I just don't get everything straight.

Linda: I remember you talking about that kind of business. I guess if I did it, it would take the fun out of doingthose things for myself. Sometimes I'm really on fire to do a bunch of things, other times not so much. I just love the holidays because that is when I get really in gear to do things.

Jolly: Good luck with finishing up the racquetball. I admire you for taking it on. Just not a sport I can see myself getting into. Sounds like things are starting to come back into gear for you.

Thanks for the well wishes on the interview. I'm not sure how it will go, but if I am meant to leave and do another job, then it will happen.

Happy Thursday.

Chach

Good morning chickies..

Chachee - That's me - day late, dollar short. ;) Yep, those are our three horses, you remembered well! I'm so hesitant to move them again, mostly because I'm so sick of moving them and then having things go wrong. I just keep trying to find the "right" place, and I'm having trouble with that. How did the interview go? I know hearing nothing on the last one would bother me, even if it's for them to just say "no, you didn't get it" at least you wouldn't be wondering anymore.

Jolly - I love playing raquetball! Obviously, we really do need to live closer together. I'm just a beginner, too, but I really do enjoy the game. You're right though, it's very discouraging if you're playing someone who is SO much better than you are. I'd be more concerned about the ankle issue, though. Please do not play through that kind of pain? Your body is trying to tell you something, and forcing the issue might just make it worse. I learned that with shin splints.

I guess I must be PMSing. Water retention is NOT fun. I feel like the sta-puff marshmallow man. *bloat* I had the greatest intentions of getting out to the stables last night but it was pouring, and by the time I got home after an hour plus of fighting traffic I had a splitting headache. I made spaghetti, watched Sleepy Hollow and CSI, then went to bed. Weather is that foggy, misting, creepy kind of weather. It's not bad if you aren't feeling like poo to begin with, then the only thing it's good for is snuggling up to a warm TV or computer monitor and forgetting about everything.

Hopefully the weather will be better tonight. This weekend I'm going to take the kids to see A Shark Tale, because we didn't make it three weekends ago. *lol* The ex is taking the kids out Sunday night for hallowe'en, but I'll be doing the makeup. I enjoy that. :) They're going as Lock, Shock and Barrell from Nightmare Before Christmas. My ex will be the devil, Ian is the skelly, and Valeska will be the witch. I thought it was cute. :D

This weekend I WILL adjust the treadmill belt, and I WILL take it for a spin. ;) Hold me to it, ladies!!

Howdy Ladies,

Raven: I bet the kids are going to be great dressed up from the movie. My neice LOVED that movie from the age 5 on. I thought it was cute. Gotta love Tim Burton! I'm holding you to getting the treadmill working again, as I expect you to hold me to working out more next week. Been a slug with all this baking!

The interview went well. I asked them this time when they would have their decision made. They said they were interviewing through Monday, checking references Tuesday-Thursday, and getting the stuff to HQ to finalize. I guess if my referernces are not called by Thursday night, then I didn't get it. The actual interview went well and I was happy with my answers. If I'm suppossed to leave here and take this next step in my life it will work out. It's out of my hands now.

Going to Trick-or-Treat Town tonight. For those of you not from Alaska, it's an indoor warehouse that sets up mock houses and gives out candy. With the weather up here, it's tough sometimes to go Trick or Treating outdoors.

Going to finish up my sewing this weekend and put the machine away until after the holidays. I have a few clay ornaments left to do, but nothing big. Just gotta get the shopping list together for the Christmas cookies, but I have a couple of weeks to do that.

Hubby leaves next Tuesday for Hawaii. He'll be gone a week. Tough life, huh?

Happy Friday, Happy Halloween!

Chach

Raven, I hope things get straightened out with the horses.
Chach, Trick or Treat town sounds really cool. We're lucky, on Sunday they are predicting that Halloween will be unseasonably warm for Halloween, about 70 degrees - amazing for this area!
I'm feeling a bit better, but feeling FAT today.... have been eating more than I should the last few days and we have a big party to attend tomorrow. Plus, with my injury, I am not working out.
Will try the treadmill tomorrow!
Gotta go!
Linda