[tiredoffat]

Hi Roll, I'm happy to hear that you are doing well today given the significance of the day. You sound like such a great mom opening your house up to your daughter's friends. What fun! What a nice gift to your daughter because it really means that you won't get much "me" time. It's also great to hear that you're doing well with your eating. Do you have lots of healthy snacks around? Some of the snacks I have that are healthy include 1/4 cup almonds (170 - filling), of course my smoothies, carrot sticks, celery, sugarless gum, seltzer.

Good eating day:
breakfast - two eggs on one piece of toast 260
lunch - salad with turkey (300)
snack - trail mix - 400 (I can't go near this stuff!)
dinner - large smoothie - 400

total - 1360

Thanks for asking about the presentation. It went much better than the last one. I practiced this time and it helped. The test was ok too. I'm halfway through. I can't wait to devote more time to this healthy lifestyle change rather than the course.

Take care and thanks for checking in! I love the shared journey and encouragement. It has brought such peace to my life.

[rollmdl]

Congrats on getting through your test and presentation. I now have five 12 year old girls running wild in my house. Big sleepover here. I may log in later depending on whether I get the chance to hide. I had a turkey sausage and 2 scrambled eggs for breakfast
an orange for lunch
1/2 an avocado and 3 oz chicken for a snack
chicken vegetable soup for dinner.

Not enough water.

I hope to check in later.
They are having a blast. They giggle so much.

Wish me luck.
R

[rollmdl]

Hi,
Don't have much time. The girls are here. I ended up having 1400 calories yesterday. Not so easy cooking for 5 plus 1 (me). I didn't really blow it but didn't stick to my plan. I didn't eat apple pie with (homemade) whipped cream.
I got enough sleep. That's a miracle. My daughter and I are going to see the Lion King in San Francisco and then we have a grief group at night. She goes to the kids group and I go to the parents. It's a combination halloween party grief group tonight. Somebody has a sense of humor.
The sleepover girls will be dropped off at 12:00. This is such a test for me. I have confidence that I will make the right choices because your support and this process makes me feel grounded. Busy days are kind of scary when it comes to eating.
the plan-
turkey patties
scrambled eggs
Lunch ?
dinner?
Well, I've gotta go.

Thanks and I'll check in later if I can.

[tiredoffat]

Hi Roll, I hope you managed to stick with the plan. I agree busy days are very, very hard. I hope you are doing well. It sounds like your handling all the commotion.

I had a busy day. Many parent conferences. They went well thought. I'm home now enjoying a really big healthy fruity smoothie - so comforting. I once read that milk can calm you down and help with a diet and that probably goes for yogurt too.

Breakfast: 5 walnuts (100) - I've read good things about walnuts too in moderation
Lunch: tuna sandwich (600) - a lot of cals but I just felt like a sandwich rather than the salad, I must say though I was left wanting more and the salad takes so much time to eat that I'm always ready to be done.
Dinner - smoothie (400) and probably something else to round the day off to 1500.

[rollmdl]

It was difficult finding anything presentable that fit to wear to the theater this afternoon. The play was so wonderful and appropriate. The circle of life theme was perfect and we talked in the car about my husband and Rachel's memories of him. We couldn't commemorate him yesterday and I certainly couldn't give in to my saddness with all those kids around. I had a good cry during the parent support/grief group.

I stuck with my breakfast plan and grabbed a pear for lunch-it's still in the back seat of my car. I had 2 big meatballs and a salad at the "grief party". I'm really hungry so I'm going to have some chicken vegetable soup (my staple) with cheese. I'm too exhausted for smiley faces tonight. I may or may not watch a
Star Trek dvd and go to bed. I feel like I could get into trouble tonight.
Thank you so much for listening. I couldn't have done this day without bingeing without your support.
It sounds like you had a pretty busy and complicated day, too. It's so good to get clarity by writing all of "this" down. I think we are both to be commended on not using food to deal with stress. Good for us.
Good night.

[rollmdl]

I woke up without a food hangover today. That is so unusual after a stressful time period. Tired, I remember, a few posts ago, you saying that you were beat and were going to rest. That doesn't usually occur to me when I'm in that beat up state. I had that soup last night, watched Star Trek and went to bed. I have a busy catch up day but so far, I don't feel crazy about it. This process is really not ALL about appearance. For me, it's more about feeling sane and having energy. Appearance does play it's part in motivating me, but not as much as it did when I was younger.
My food intake yesterday:

Breakfast- coffee, turkey sausage scrambled eggs 450
Lunch- (at 6:00pm! Do I still call it lunch?) meatballs and caesar salad 400
Dinner- chicken vegetable soup and mozzerella cheese 350
total 1200
Not too great health wise. But better than overeating.
There was a huge time gap between breakfast and "lunch" and I wasn't hungry, lightheaded or short tempered. ????????? I felt some hunger before eating but I wasn't ravenous. Go figure. My body must be getting used to less food. I enjoy those periods of time when I am actually hungry. I never used to allow myself to experience that sensation. I hope that doesn't sound like I love to experience pain
Food plan for today
red peppers and onions
2 scrambled eggs

chicken soup and cheese

chicken soup and cheese small salad

I still haven't lost weight (2 weeks) I'm going to try to make it to the gym.
I'm not going to dwell on it. I know how I feel. This beginning hasn't been too strict and I think that is the the way I needed to start so I wouldn't feel deprived. Well, thanks again for your support. I hope you're having a good day. I still have part of an apple pie in the cupboard. I'm going to save a small piece for my daughter and throw the rest away. I'm way too conscious that it's in there. Whatever it takes, right? My mother wouldn't be very happy with me. Oh well. I'd better get started with my catching up. Bye.

[tiredoffat]

Hi Roll, you sound so much like me. So many of the things you say and do. I never thought of it as a "food hangover" but I definately have had that experience. I also focus on a food that's in the house that I really want. I've countered that by not buying foods like that as much as possible. I don't bake anymore either - my mom always baked, but the boys are not less happy without it and they like the healthy smoothies, etc.

I also agree with you about writing and for me writing to someone. I've never had this unbiased, unjudgemental kind of support in my life. It's incredible. Tonight, many emotions were running through my head for a multitude of reasons - I desperately wanted to drown them all out with food, and instead here I am writing to you and others on this site. It's wonderful!


I hope you'll continue to write. I wish I were home more to write more often. In the summer I wrote several times a day to stay on track. Lately I've been writing more at night.

As far as not loosing weight I recommend you keep experimenting with different foods, exercise routines, etc. I know that too few calories is not good and obviously too many is not good - there's a right amount. I just made the guess of 1500 which seems to be a good calorie amount for my body. Exercise is wonderful and I think that helped me to get a jump start - it was summer and I wasn't working so I had the chance to swim, use machines at a gym or walk/hike. Now I've really slacked off in that end, but after my course ends in December I hope to get back to it. Food is tricky - I've been counting calories and have pretty much eliminated desserts and alcohol. I've really lowered my intake of carbs like bread, pasta, etc. I've increased my intake of protein like turkey, nuts (almonds mainly), some eggs, and yogurt. I never used to eat enough protein and I always ate too many carbs and sweets. I've also increased my water intake. I haven't weighed myself in about a month (give or take) because I just haven't made it to the gym but my clothes are loose. I've dropped about one size which isn't too much, but I'm definately feeling better which is the most important.

Take care Roll and thanks for your encouragement and listening. Your strength is giving me strength. Hang in there.

[tiredoffat]

Check-In
Breakfast: cereal/milk (300)
lunch: salad with turkey (300)
dinner: sliced chicken/steak (small portion), lettuce, cheese (a little grated), sauteed veggies (hard to tell the cals as I was at a restaurant but my guess is that it was about 600 or so). I didn't eat anything else just in case there were more cals and the fact that I wasn't hungry.

foods I didn't eat today - ice cream, taco shell, sour cream.

[rollmdl]

Hi Tired,

This will be short. I'm really tired. I started off feeling pretty good today but fell into an emotional slump. This time of year is really hard for me. I'm glad I'm not making it worse with over eating.
I've stayed on track with breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm going to turn in extra early tonight. Sorry this is so short. Just depressed . It will pass. Thanks for being here. The pie is gone. My daughter ate the small piece I saved for her.

Good night. Thanks for the great check in tonight.

[rollmdl]

It's late in the day for me.
So far I've had chicken and red peppers for breakfast
chicken vegetable soup with cheese, avocado and pine nuts for lunch
yes, I'm in a rut but it works for me. I don't FEEL like posting but I know that isolation is not going to support my refraining from eating junk. I felt your support when I was throwing that pie away. I just kept saying to myself, "It's not food. It's not nourishing."
I need to do some math with my daughter now and then we have a Halloween party to go to.

I'll eat before we go.

I may log in tonight when we get home. Thanks for being here no matter what state of mind we are in.

[tiredoffat]

Hi. We do get into our slumps and sometimes when I'm there I feel like I'm never going to get out of it. Then a week passes and I'm out of it and I can't believe I was ever there. I never mind hearing about slumps or down times as I have them too. I'm really beginning to learn thought to think a bit about what's happening rather than race for the comfort - food and avoid the whole situation. It's funny but my social life is improving now that I feel better about myself.

I'm glad you're sticking to the healthy eating Roll. I'm glad you're checking in. I appreciate your support. You're doing such a great job. I hope you had fun at the Halloween party.

breakfast - coffee
lunch - salad with turkey (300), grapes, carrot sticks (100)
dinner - thai food - quite a bit
total - I'm sure I hit about 1500 as I ate a lot of Thai food
Foods skipped: brownies, cookies, candy, popcorn, cider (Halloween party)

[rollmdl]

Well,
I "slipped" last night. I was at a Halloween party for kids and three of my girlfriends decided to slip out to a movie. We stopped by a deli and got sandwiches. I had the sandwich and a few cookies along with a canned espresso drink containing lots of sugar during the movie. When I got home, I had ice cream. I'm feeling some remorse and fear right now. I know that I can't hold onto these feelings. I know the late night ice cream- the real disaster- was a "what the ****, I already overate" response. My calorie intake for yesterday was 2700.
I'm under lots of stress now because several of my appliances have broken at the same time. There are lots of other issues that I'm dealing with and I'm feeling overwhelmed. Unhealthy eating makes things much, much worse. Today will be a real test. I need a plan and I don't feel like making one. I don't trust myself right now. I hope you don't mind my sharing this. My attitude could shift at any time. I'm hoping that writing about this will help to change my perspective. Looking at what triggers my "mistakes" is a valuable practice. Social eating is a problem for me. I was really excited to be taking off with the girls. We had lots of fun. Lots of belly laughing. Well, here's my plan for today:
breakfast smoothie
lunch chicken soup

dinner big mixed vegetable salad with meatballs

I have some fresh broccoli in the refridgerator and I'm going to steam that for a snack today. I don't like it raw.
Lots of water and tea.
I'm also going to do situps several times today and try to fit in a walk.

I keep threatening to take a bath. I'm going to put that on my list.

Thanks for being here. Wish me luck.

[tiredoffat]

Hi Roll,

I have days like yours since I started this process in August. By getting back on track the next day the damage is hardly noticeable. It's also good practice for life once you reach your goal as there will be some days when you eat more than others. So my advice is not to worry and move on. I hope you have a good day today - you'll feel great about yourself and realize that you can have a day with a bit more eating and then be back on track.

Also Roll, I can't remember your weight or how much you want to lose. Also, do you have any goals. I just made a new goal for myself. I'm trying to stay on track until Thanksgiving and just before I want to buy myself a new outfit. The new outfit is my reason for staying on track as now I'm fitting into some nicer styles than I did a couple of months ago.

Good luck. I'm thinking of you.

breakfast - omelete with spinach and feta (400)
lunch - very large smoothie (500), a little pb and bread (200)
I'm at 1100 which means a light dinner.

food skipped - french fries, toast, muffins

[rollmdl]

I stayed within my eating boundaries today.
Breakfast smoothie 340
lunch lots of cooked mixed vegetables with melted cheese 350
dinner 6 meatballs, salad with avocado and pine nuts, acorn squash 1042

A bit high but nothing unhealthy.

My washing machine has been broken for almost 2 weeks now and today I went out and bought a new one. I'm relieved that it's taken care of. I had such a hard time deciding whether to fix my old, crappy one or to spend the money on a new one. I also had trouble making my mind up about how much I wanted to spend. I decided on a new front loading machine and I'm pretty happy with my decision. I had to go to the laundromat (sp?) today. It beats washing by the river.

It sounds like your Halloween party went well. Was this the block party you were talking about earlier?
I really appreciate your words of encouragement during my hard days ( and during my easier days for that matter). This is such a huge shift for me. It's becoming more and more clear how food is such an emotional crutch for me. I liked what you said about your social life improving. This seemingly invisible shift affects so many aspects of life.
I've put off buying Halloween candy until tomorrow. I'm not particularly tempted by it. I like good candy. My daughter, however............... She comforted herself with candy for about a year after her dad died. She had her holiday stash in her room. I finally "came to" and made candy more difficult to come by. This year I told her that I want her to get rid of inferior candy and that I will ration her candy. She's happy with the agreement. I have friends who buy their kids' candy from them and toss it. Good idea.

Thanks for listening and thanks for being such a wonderful inspiration for me, Tired. I always get so much from your posts.
Good Night
sw/172
cw/163
gw/120

I like your idea about setting mini goals. I have a dress that I own that I really like that I plan to try on periodically.
I'm going to work on a mini goal though. I'll let you know.

[tiredoffat]

Hi Roll, it's so good to hear from you. I can tell this is going to be a tough day and your encouragement is invaluable. The other night was the school party, tonight is the neighborhood open house. I know I'll enjoy it once it happens but I really don't feel like doing all the cooking and cleaning that it takes to put a party on. That's always how I fell lately. I used to enjoy having gatherings and I've had zillions of them over my lifetime, but lately I kind of resent it. I know it's because my life is simply too much work right now between school, family, the course and this healthy eating incentive which does take time and energy. As you mentioned it is a major shift.

I ended up last night finishing off my cals and a few more with a small portion of nuts and lots of water. I was up a little, but not too bad. I woke up ravenous this morning and had a big, big breakfast of cereal (300) and smoothie (400). That's a lot of cals for breakfast but I hope to stay on track for the rest of the day. For the party I'm making a large veggie tray which I can snack on while people are here. I'll also drink seltzer. I'm not even tempted to eat candy as I have enough healthy alternatives and I bought trick-or-treat candy that I don't like "blowpops." Yesterday I also bought sugar-free hot chocoloate for the times when I'm dying for the taste of chocolate -only 60 calories so that should work out. I also might by myself (as a treat) a hot drink blender that I saw at the store - it makes drinks frothy like cafe au lait or hot chocolate, that would be another healthy way to have something comforting and special with low cals. I could make the cafe au lait with 1% milk (I read that that's better than skim for you) and coffee for few cals.

As far as my boys go, food is not an issue. None of them use food like I do, they eat and then move on. They're really active. Cookies and the like sit around here for a long time. They'll probably devour their candy and that will be that.

Take care. Have a happy Halloween and good luck with your goals.