HI!

Yesterday was really nice. More nostalgic than sad. S's 3 best friends and another family and us were al there. The same people who pulled together after the accident. My kids were extremely well behaved(?? ya just never know) and we had a great dinner of chicken fajitas and my casserole. I had a few glasses of wine. it was all just very nice. Positive. Warm.Loving.

Yesterday really tried my resolve. I did ok with the food. I did have a candy bar but that was because I was so hungry and I had to stay for a late night employee meeting, then go to Accounting class. I just didn't think I could go that long without something and with my limited food choices (due to my IC), I choose a Payday candy bar and a water.

I'm really upset with my job. I'm frustrated because every situation is different and I don't know what to do in so many circumstances. I've talked to my boss about that and he says that's just the way it is and you have to just shoot from the hip. Well, when I do that, he tells me that's not the way it should have been done. Go figure! I'll keep trying though...I have to...I have bills to pay you know!

I better get to work.
Susie

What is PLEASURABLE besides eating???? Painterwoman asked this in the journals.

Late night for our kids.They slept til 7:30 but have school today. I hope they are not too grumpy.
i just have 2 little guys all day. I am still feeling peaceful.
There are mountains of laundry to do and the kitchen fairy has not been appearing over night. Must speak to her( or HIM). I am tired of washing the pots and pans for some reason. Today I will get the kitchen spic and span.


Painterwoman’s post got me thinking about what I would do instead of eating.I realized i was thinking of the things I did before I was a wife and mother and gained 40 lbs. AHA! There is not really time or space for me to do the things i love but there is time and space to make a glorious multi layered fatty sandwich and sit in front of the tube yet be available for the kids.
With the basement finished( almost) and the kids are a bit older maybe it is feasable to set up a craft/painting/photo album spot somewhere for me to get at and work on. Hmmmmmmm.......

I had 3 glasses of wine last night and dessert. It was good and I dont feel I over did it. It was part of the celebration.
I need to think about breakfast and tidying the darn kitchen.

Susie~ how frustrating for you!! GRRRRRR.
Debbie, Jodi~ you both sound like you are in a wonderful groove!!!!!!!!!

HUGS to all!!!!!!

Oooh...I think I'm making post 2000!

My back is feeling better, thanks all. I went home last night and CRASHED by 5.30p. I woke up at 8.30p surrounded by my snoozing cats. I got up, had a little dinner (leftover tater tot casserole) and went out with DH to run errands like the post office and Wal Mart like we should have done earlier. We didn't get home until 10.30p. I wasn't totally tired, and we watched a bit of TV before I fell asleep. DH gave me a nice back rub too, and that helped immensely.

It's so weird...when I go home from work and crash like that, I tend to sleep better during a nap like that than when I sleep at night. Why?

Holly:
Glad your dinner went well and that you feel peaceful.

Jodi:
I feel the same way you do, about eating veggies and healthy stuff...I feel like - what am I missing?

Susie:
I'm sorry about the job situation. There's nothing more frustrating with being confused and stressed all day and wanting to come home and relax...for me, typically with food.

Debbie:
You sound so great and OP!!!! Send some of those vibes my way!

Spores:
Very stressful situation! It would be hard for me...I wouldn't be able to help but think that things like grade appeals were very personal accusations...

Talk to you all later.

Girlie

Jodi: Wow, that is such a great point to come to, when you really start feeling that eating healthy is a nurturing thing and not deprivation. What a great feeling! I am really glad to hear it. We spend so much time thinking about our exercise and eating habits that sometimes we neglect our thought patterns. Sounds like you have made a huge leap in that area!

Debbie: Sounds like you are doing great on plan. Can you tell us more about the flax seed? What benefits does it have? Is it anything like wheat germ?

Holly: Glad yesterday was a peaceful and healing day for you. What is pleasurable besides eating? Great question! I am going to think of this in two categories: intellectual/emotional and body-based, because it seems to me that food is pleasurable in those two ways. So in the intellectual/emotional category: reading, going to theatre, acting, watching birds hop around, drawing. In the body-based category: dancing, sex, getting a pedicure, wearing really soft fabric. It’s funny, when I think about it: so often I eat instead of doing these other things that are equally pleasurable. Hmm, something to ponder.

Susie: Ugh, work stress can be the pits. Sounds like you made a reasonable decision with the options you had. It’s so hard to be flexible when life does not go according to plan!

Girlie: Glad your back is feeling better. Sleeping can be so weird; I have heard that a regular sleep cycle helps with weight loss, but I don’t know much about it. Yeah, the appeal thing is feeling very personal, partly because I am just sensitive, and partly because the student is taking a rather hostile tone. I am trying to just brush it off and remember that it’s not about me, it’s about her not doing her work and then whining about the consequences. I just don’t want to eat in response; I don’t want another person to have that much control over my life!

Today will be a little bit hectic, so I am hoping to stay on plan despite the busyness. The biggest challenge will be getting my exercise in. I am going to promise myself an episode of Monty Python while I walk – that should be good incentive!

Hello All...

I was a bit dissappointed at TOPS last night, I was up 1/2 lb. I had two bad eating sessions, and have not walked for an entire week due to bad weather, and no one pushing me to go. Excuses, excuses.

So today has been a free for all.......eggs for breakfast, mexican for lunch, a piece of birthday cake for a co-worker. I suck!

HOWEVER tomorrow is a new day and I am not going to suck. Besides I have to fast until my doc appt at 1:00, so they can draw blood and check all my stuff.

Got to get going....Susie, so sorry about your job, that has to be miserable.

Take care, and sweet dreams!

Annie

hello everyone,
checking in 2 times this week!! things must be getting in better order here. so i did a lot of thinkoing last night about what i wrote, it is true i guess. it is becoming more routine, taking care of ME that is. my house is resonably clean, the bills all got paid, my car is clean, my desk at work is in good shape, my eating is good. all of these things are related in my life. when i have things in order all around me i feel in good control. when i am scattered, and all the things around me are a mess then, i am a mess too. i wore a hoodie today that at one time was very tight around my middle. today it is loose and long on me. my body is changing faster than the scale is moving. a little weird for me.

spores- have fun with the python! good incentive to get your exercise in. other than my regular everyday and some gardening i still just don't get the exercise. it will come though i'll just keep trying. hope the hectic day went off with out a hitch!

holly- glad your dinner was nice, hope you are feeling well today! what is pleasureable besides food? spending time talking with friends, any time spent with DH, watching my kids do their thing....whatever the thing of the moment is, good books, good movies, sex, gardening...wow really so many things!!

girlie- glad the back is better! about the sleep stuff? i can't take a nap during the day it just screws up my whole night sleep pattern. like spores said getting good sleep is supposed to be really helpful for weightloss. i know myself when i am tired i really start to crave carbs especially. the body is amazing really it just knows that is what gives it the fastest energy spurt.

mychoice- sorry to hear about the worries at work, it is tough making on your feet decisions when you aren't really sure. hope you get it all worked out soon. don't let it get to you!! you have been doing a really great job!

speaking of work, my boss sent over a pound of fantastic chocolates for Administrative prof. day today. damn him, he is such a nice guy! so alone i sat in my office and ate 4, grrr!!! the next person that walked through the door went home with the rest of them! oh they were so good!!

debbie- you are doing a great job!! keep it up!!
hello everyone else hope you all have a wonderful night!!

hi annie!
don't get discouraged. the scale goes up and down for too many reasons to count. keep giving it a try everyday you can do it!!!

Hello Chicks,

Sorry haven't been on in a few days. Maggie is up and back to speed. (Just about). Been staying OP, even tho TOM is here, and causing me to be grumpy. Really would love just to eat that snickers candy bar. Decided to hold out and see if I can make it without it.
Holly, glad your day was a celebration, there are usually tears, but I am glad you enjoyed it, and relished in the moment. Good For you.

Jodi-- isn't that fun!!!!!! I bought a outfit to wear on vacation a year ago. It just always felt uncomfortable, so decided to leave it home. Yesterday, I got it on, it felt great.... and reinforced why I am doing all this hard work for. CONGRATS

Annie-- Don't beat yourself up!, It is ONE bad moment. It isn't the end of your plan. Get back in the groove, you know what you want long-term, this is a millisecond in your plan, you know it was bad, now jump up and get back in the game. You got the right idea.

Susie-- Yikes, I really feel for you when your job can be stressful. So sorry to hear about that. We are here for you if you need a vent. Sorry. Surely I don't have all the answers, but I remember last year, my job was just the worst. I stuck it out, and things really turned around. This maybe is just a speed bump in the road. What do you do in your job?

Girlie--Sorry your back is giving you trouble. There is just nothing worse than a bad back, unless it is your feet. UGHHHHHH.

Spores--What do you teach? We are in the final days of school, three weeks to go, and taking all the little ones to ANNIE tommorrow at the University. Should be interesting. Some of them have never been on a bus, so that is what they are looking forward to. I love days like that. Seeing the little ones out of a school setting.

Debbie- I love it when you are posting your meals. It really gives me some idea's instead of a spinach salad everyday. I have eaten that for 2 weeks straight, it is easy, and quick. I am going to seek a variety.

Sorry if I missed anyone, school is very hectic, my family is busy, DH is teaching hunter's safety class, DS is his student with over 23 other little 12 yr. old boys, OH, I am loving it, Last nite, got the comment, " You know this is fine I am doing this, but the business is suffering when I have to leave early, and I am stressed with the tight schedule, blah, blah, blah," I am thinking to myself, "YEP, know what you mean. I do it EVERYDAY."

Happy Hump Day

Sandi

Forgot to mention, weighed in yest. NO LOSS. (sigh ) Marking it up to TOM. Didn't gain, didn't lose.

Hello all,
I'm afraid I might not make it here tomorrow, so I wanted to take some time tonight to post..then I'm goint to get some sleep.

I want to thank you ladies for your support when I wrote about the bad time I was having with my job situation. It's really hard for me ever admit--even to myself-- that I'm struggling with something. You were all very supportive and I am so thankful for this bunch.

I think it was SiouxCheif who asked what I do. I work in the claims dept for a company. I knew it was a stressful job when I took it but I'm usually very good in those types of situations. My stress comes from that each case is different and office/sales politics come into play a lot and it makes it even more confusing. My boss is really great most of the time; very open to making suggestions and backing decisions, however there are times that they want us to see how far we can push the "no" before it turns into a yes and that's hard for me. I will discuss this with my manager the next chance I get.

Girlie: Glad to hear that your back is feeling better.

Jodi: You are in the zone girl...you are taking care of your body and it's responding...I know that has to feel great!

Spores: Did you get your exercise in?

Debbie: How are you doing?

Sandi: Sorry to hear the scales didn't move..but I'm sure it has to do with TOM.

Annie: Don't despair about the scales...you can change them next week...don't forget tomorrow is the day you are getting back on plan!

Holly: What is pleasurable besides eating? Feeling the tops of your jeans rest on your hips because they are loose in the waist!

OK..of to bed for me.

Susie

Good morning,
I had another good day. I ate my usual b-fast. At lunch I had a couple of wraps. They were like the lunchables my dgs eats but it is South Beach brand. It even had sf jello with it. In the summer I don't like to eat anything hot. Dinner, I had crockpot roast. I was careful to eat a palm size piece of meat. and a fist size of veggies, I try to watch my carbs but I love the pot/carrots/onion thing. yummm.
My home life is very boring. Not much to post. Dh is putting in 14-15 hr days. Ds's still live here but don't spend much time here. Hey they are like the stray cats that took up here. They
know where the food bowl is. LOL!!

Susie: I am proud of you staying op
during such a stressful job. They change our policies daily we never know when we tell a customer something if it will be backed up or not. We have a lot of that "Good old boy" thing happening.
Car dealers are a real hard bunch to keep happy.

Sandi: No gain during TOM.. That just as good as a loss.

Jodi: I'll agree when I'm eating right and taking better of myself it shows in every area of my life. House stays cleaner ect.

Annie: Be kind to yourself.

Girlie: Glad back is better. I can't remember the last full nights sleep I had. I've been doing the hot flash/night sweats thing for a couple of years. Hope it passes soon.

Spores: Flax is suppose to be good for the heart.

Judy: How are you?

Holly: Family time is pleasurable. You realize this as they get older and they start to get more outside interests.

I have to go get ready. Its my long day. I try to think of it as a good way to get exercise.

EVERYONE HAVE A GREAT DAY

Good morning everyone.

My back is feeling better, thank you. I went to the gym last night and di 45 minutes on the elliptical, barely made 4 miles. I felt really good doing it - like I was flying - but it's just a matter of me getting tired of the repetition. I have my music and the TVs and do a lot of people watching to get me through the time. I think the elliptical helps my back because I'm standing up straight and holding myself up while "running", and I think it helps strengthen back muscles. I also try to twist at the waist while I'm "running" and that helps the spine. I slept pretty well last night, but my back feels a bit sore. I have to keep reminding myself to sit straight up in my chair here at work and not lean forward.

It's just about TOM - a bad time for the scale in general. I was up like 4 pounds last night - i'm attributing it to TOM. I have been eating terribly, but I never gain weight like that. So I've resolved to drink only water for the next few days, exercise at least twice by Sunday and weigh again then. One month until I see my mom...I'd really like to lose a few pounds before then.

Spores:
Yes, flax-seed is a good source of fiber and new studies are showing it to be helpful in lowering cholesterol and maintaining a healthy heart. It's also good for people with IB symptoms. Trader Joe's has these great flax seed and soy tortilla chips. They have a ton of fiber in them.

Debbie:
Good job on limiting the pot roast. I like pot roast. I kinda suck at making it though. Wow, your Dh works long hours - hope you are keeping yourself busy

Susie:
Claims departments are very stressful - plus, you have to use your own judgment a lot in the cases, and it's hard to make such a huge decision based on the information that you have - plus trying to please the customer, the company, your bosses, etc!


Jodi:
Good for you for taking care of YOU. I tend to feel good when the house is clean, my car isn't cluttered, etc. It just feels good.

Spores:
I liked your ideas of what is pleasureable. The funny thing is, each of my "pleasurable" things is linked to something negative in a way. Like, clothes are pleasureable, but I don't feel like they look good on me. Sex can be pleasurable, but not if I don't feel good about m body. Lying down and reading can be pleasurable, but I always have to have something to nibble on. Pedicures, manicures, salons are pleasurable but not if I don't feel good about the rest of myself. It seems like everything just points to losing weight.

Sorry not to get to everyone, gotta start my morning reports. It will be a busy day of billing the client today!

Girlie

Hi! Once again I spent to much time laughing, sighing and pondering all the posts I missed over the last two days to actually respond to them. I'm okay, trying to get things under control at the office, and preparing to leave town again, just for a couple of days. I've been slipping a bit this week, with sangria and various yummy tapas last night, and baby shower cake this afternoon. I need to put several 'gold-star' days together to stay on track.....

I'll do personals n Sunday, and tell you more about my very exciting life In the meantime, keep making good choices!

judy

Annie: Ugh, post-weigh-in free for all! I know just what that feels like. Well, tomorrow IS another day, and I know you can get back on that horse!

Jodi: I too tend to either have everything together or be in total chaos. I am working to find a better balance. If only everything could just stay clean and tidy on its own for a little while, I could catch up! It sounds like you are in a really good place right now. Good for you!

Sandi: I teach english composition and lit at a community college and creative writing in an online master’s program. I vascillate between enjoying it and loathing it. When the students are bright and interested and fun, I love it. But when I get complainers who don’t show up to class and do their work, my job sucks. Your field trip sounds like fun – it’s so great to get out of the classroom and do some interesting things!

Susie: Good for you for seeking support when you needed it. I too hate to admit when I’m having a hard time with things. I want to pretend that I can do everything perfectly all the time with no trouble. I think recognizing when we need help is a huge step!

Debbie: Sounds like you’re doing great; glad to hear it. I will have to look into flax seed; sounds like a good thing. Mmm, pot roast. It’s snowing and cold here (no fair!), and that sounds like a delicious meal. I too tend to overdo the potatoes. And the gravy!

Girlie: I know exactly what you mean about all the pleasurable things being linked to feeling negative about the body. I get that too. I am really tired of using my weight as an excuse not to do things I love – can’t get a massage because I feel too fat, can’t audition for a show because I’m too self-conscious, etc. I feel like I’ve been waiting so long to lose the weight so that I can live my life! So I’m trying (not doing that well, but trying) to go in the reverse direction: just live my life and do stuff and try not to worry about how much I weigh, and maybe the weight will start coming off. Maybe.

Judy: Wow, you are really on the go! Hope you get some time to rest soon!

Okay, so I have this fantastic excuse for why I’m not exercising right now: my feet are killing me. I started a new job (school’s almost out, so I needed something for the summer) at a salon, and I am on my feet for eight hours straight. And I know that other people stand all day long, but for some reason (bad shoes? not used to it? just too fat to stand comfortably for eight hours?), my feet are absolutely dying when I get home. Walking on the treadmill sounds like torture. Even standing at the stove long enough to cook dinner is a nightmare. Anything that involves using these hurtey lumps at the ends of my legs is out of the question. I’m not sure how best to deal with this. I don’t want to just forego exercise, obviously, but I’m going to have to figure out a strategy. Any ideas?