Holly: I think that's so cool that you and your DH have found a way to share a life according to what you both love. That's the greatest thing! It's funny; I am more the fix-it type around my house, so I do that kind of thing, and my BF does the things I hate like grocery shopping and errands. Guess it's different for everyone!

Judy: I too tend to be less hungry when I am busy, especially when I am busy doing things I love to do. When I have lots of work I don't like, I tend to magically get hungry! Funny how the brain works. Gender roles are an intersting issue. I was shocked last semester when teaching my high school kids: universally, they all thought that feminist was some sort of dirty word. They thought that being a feminist meant being a hairy-legged man-hater. Sigh. I had one 18-year old boy who said he had never in his life done laundry!

I am glum this afternoon. I did my treadmill (yay!) and then talked on the phone with a friend. He just got offered what is essentially my dream job. I'm happy for him and all, but I can't help but be jealous. I feel like I'm just slogging away at everything, and nothing is coming together: weight, career, home, all that stuff. And he just has this perfect thing fall in his lap. And here I am mildewing, with nothing happening. I know, I know, I have lots of wonderful things in my life. But it just feels like I'm spinning my wheels, with no prospects on the horizon. And I know that envy isn't going to help one bit. But damnit, I can't help but wallow a bit.

The key here will be to not react to this by eating. Mustn't give up and binge when I am mopey. Going to cook poached salmon and risotto and broccoli for dinner tonight. Going to get my work done and not watch television. Going to find one little thing about my life to celebrate.

Phoo, having a positive attitude is hard.

Good morning ladies,
I'm happy to report that I almost have my housework caught up and it feels good! I feel much more in control right now and I'm looking forward to bringing my DH home from the hospital and just taking care of him. I'm going to rent some movies tomorrow on my lunch hour so that we can just veg out over the weekend. After all isn't that why I've worked so hard this week?

Weigh-in is tomorrow and I'm hoping to have stayed the same. I've not overate this week or binged but I have allowed myself sweets every day. I hope that doesn't come back to get me! I keep thinking about how spring/summer will be here and I swore to myself last year that I would not be overweight again all warm weather season. Sounds like I better get busy.

I have 3 more classes until Spring break. I can't tell you how much I'm living for that.

Spores: How did you do for the rest of the day yesterday? I'm really proud of you for coming here and admiting that you had something bothering you. It's not easy to admit that we wish for what others have sometimes. It's also really easy to get down on yourself and think that you should be in a better place than you are. When that happens to me (I usually feel that way when I think life is passing me by), I really do start counting my blessings and think about all that I've done and the other things that I have in the process.


Judy: Did you get a chance to buy any fresh veggies? I lol when I read that you only had onions. I've been there! You asked about DH's surgery. It's this Friday. Thank you for all the good thoughts.

Jodi: What night is your WW night?

Holly: I like what you had to say about choosing the way you life you life. I think you can still be a strong woman and be a stay at home mom. You know, we women are just amazing people. We take on and adapt to what we need to do. STRONG is what we are!

Debbie: Good for you for throwing those scales out. You don't really need them at home anyway. You can weigh-in at Curves and if there ever comes a time when you can't afford Curves or you don't want to go anymore, did you know that most doctor's offices will weigh you every week if you want and put it in your chart? I did that for awhile when I couldn't get to my meetings.

Ok ladies, I must get to work. Have a great day.

Susie

Toooooooo many thoughts to process.
I stayed up til midnight thinking and watching Idol to turn the brain off.

1 When I was at my Grandma’s on the weekend she smelled badly of urine. When she got up from under the hair dryer the seat was wet. My Mom ,Aunt and Sister( I need to come up with a name for this codependant 3some who share a brain) have been whispering about the smell etc for a while. I get defensive. The woman is 95. She is proud and maybe doesn’t realize the extent of it. So I have been thinking of a compassionate way of dealing with it on my own. The battleax brigade( ha, that’s it!)
are NOT kind about it.My idea is ( I do her laundry weekly), I will buy some panty liners and put it in with the laundry and out a note saying, I thought you might want to give these a try.
She is our very own Queen Mum.
I am open to feedback.

2 DH is still incredibly miserable. He has been stewing about what I said yesterday. he wont look at me. I still think it is hilarious.He hasn’t stomped his feet yet.
I did ask him how he would like if I went to his job site and harassed his co workers and then followed him around criticizing every little thing he said and did?End of story for me.
I took both kids with me to the school council meeting last night. Big kids play with them in the gym. it was okay but we didn’T get home til 9 which is an hour past bedtime .They had a lot of fun and were angels.

3 School Council Meeting- was great, BUT, we discussed at length the issues in the kindergarten class with parent bullying. Some names have come up and one couple I consider pretty good friends,awkward, and then the principal talked about the ringleader calling again yesterday accusing him of not being aware of the “bullies” and problem children in the school. The list included my son and some of his friends. He gave it as a example of how out to lunch this bunch is. I am mulling it over ,of course.
SO, Is my involvement in the administrative stuff at school going to have an adverse affect on my kids. Was he lumped in here because of me or was it coincidence????
I think I will call the principal and ask him this directly.
I want to help and make a difference and this issue is causing a HUGE amount of negativity in my daughters class but I dont want my actions to harm my kids.

4 I have been asked to write a draft of a parent handbook discussing “issues” and how to handle them,legal rights of kids,protocol, peaceful school initiatives.....
So now that is streaming through the old brain.

5 I am definitely getting my period.I have noticed the last couple of months that I feel anxious at the start of it.

I am burning out but I have known that since last weekend. I had a family cancel for today. I just have 2 toddlers til noon. My 2 are in school. i almost sent a note to voluteer this aft. Hello?? You need a break chicky. My hope is that DH doesn’t come home early.
I will take a bath for sure.
Re:DS and hockey. When he plays hockey it is the only time time in his life I have not seen him agitated or anxious. He is calm, peaceful and full of pure joy. I LOVE this for him. He even twitches and squirms when he sleeps.

March break starts this Friday. For next week I will have 6 kids for full days including my own. 2 others are off all week. I have a highschool girl coming for the mornings to do activities with them. I am taking them to the sugarbush for a day too. I think it will be a good week.

I need to eat. i am having trouble finding stuff to eat that appeals to me. Then I am hungry at night and eat carbs. I think I am too tired to out effort into it.
It has been mini wheats and fruit every moring for awhile.
Maybe I will scramble an egg.

Breathing.

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I used all my computer time to just chill. I looked up a couple online walkthroughs for some playstation 2 games I was having a hard time with. I was just stuck on a couple of them! Then I looked up my Gallop Racer 2004 game to see when I could put more mares in my barn!! Being the crazy horse person I am, I absolutely love that game!!! It was really good for me to just chill out a bit. I went home last night and after I sent my daughter to bathe, I played my Gallop Racer for a bit and got past a tricky point in one of my other games. It really helped me to just chill out - A LOT!!

I did read posts yesterday! Just didn't post anything myself.

Jodi - Thank you!! I had to go to the store last night. The pigs needed food! (we have 2 guineau pigs, a rabbit and 3 cats) So anyway, I picked up a box of Fiber one. I also got a couple bananas! When I got home I ate 1/2 cup of fiber one with 1/2 banana cut up in it! It was very good! I also didn't realize that high fiber foods were SOO filling! I didn't have an urge to snack all night!! It was really great! Thanks for letting me know about it. I'm not going to increase past the one serving a day for a little while to give my body time to get used to the increased fiber intake. (will only increase to two servings after that)

Debbie - great job working out!! I'm very proud of you!!!

Susie - thank you!!! It's so great to have all this wonderful support!!

Girlie - Thanks!! I hope you get the job you interviewed for!!

Spores - Thank you. I am feeling soo much better today!!

Judy - My head is back up. And I'm sitting up straight! :) I'm feeling ever so much better!

Hollyhock - The turtle races sound like great fun!

Ok gals! I have to let you all know! I am feeling so much better! I'm even back to making good food choices again!!! Thank you for all the support! It's been invaluable! Monday night, my boyfriend had a moment. He got all stressed and was worried about his finances. We live together, split the bills, but keep our money separate. I giggled at him. And gave him all the supporting reasons why his money was a little lower than he was used to seeing and how everything was going to be just fine. That talk helped me a lot. In convincing him not to spaz out, I totally saw all the reasons I shouldn't be spazzing out!! I mean if I don't end up with a job, I can apply for unemployment (and keep looking for a job) and shouldn't have any troubles getting it. Yeah, it would be less than I would make if actually working, but I could make ends meet with it very easily. I just would have to watch ANY extraneous spending very, very carefully. But I can do that. I made a great choice by getting in more fiber last night. -AND fresh fruit!! (I couldn't actually quote the last time I ate fresh fruit, any fruit really - I've been VERY bad) I also got a gorgeous pair of pants last night! They were on Sale for $2.00!! They are a dark grey dresspant that zips up the side. They are also a size 14! So they are for later after I've lost some weight! I'm currently wearing a size 20 pants. Have some size 18's in my closet and one or two 16's for the downward spiral. :) I hope that I can be in those size 14's at least for the fall! I just couldn't pass them up! Oh AND I am drinking water this morning!!! :p I still have my diet soda sitting at my desk but I haven't yet opened it!! Thank you all so much for helping me to get back on track! It means a lot to me! I would still be wanting to eat everything in sight if it weren't for all your great support! ;) Big hugs to you all!!!

Stephanie
234/226/125
SW/CW/GW

Oh Hollyhock! I think what you're doing with the school is good. I have such troubles with my daughter's school. She is in 2nd grade and they are just completely horrendous sometimes. (the children AND the administration) Her teacher scheduled a parent-teacher conference which had to be rescheduled by the teacher - upon rescheduling, I discovered that the assistant principal was supposed to be there too! They say that my daughter is not in trouble for behavior that she just sometimes doesn't want to do her work. They came into the meeting with information on ADD/ADHD and information on medications! What jerks! I have told them many, many times that I have no intention whatsoever of putting my daughter on medication. She hasn't been diagnosed ADD or anything but it has come up some in her school career. But she can make 90-100's on her papers and tests (pretty consistently) when I get her going well. (which to me says that she is very capable and just needs more encouragement - it's just much easier on the teacher if she's medicated) The teacher even went so far as to request an 'observation' from a YMCA staff member in the afterschool program. This staff member just graduated from high school and has no educational background whatsoever to qualify her in making observations! I was mad! The teacher and assistant principal both were just attempting to steamroll over me! I called the schoolboard and requested how to submit a formal complaint on a teacher. The schoolboard had the school principal call me (whom I had not been able to get in touch with prior to this) and he and I had a meeting. Things seem like they might be some better now. They better be, or I'll be calling him and the school board again. It was ridiculous Holly. The teacher fussed that Savannah wouldn't do her work sometimes, then she penalized her one day for working ahead of the class on her math work!! 2nd graders are not cookie-cutter!!! Talk about something to confuse the poor child. Ok. Sorry. But no, I think being a part of something at school can at least keep this kind of crap from happening to your children. So don't necessarily think that it's time to give it up. It may be the only thing to give them a fair shake. - On an awesome note, I found out yesterday that some girls FINALLY got in trouble for calling my daughter names!!!!!!! YES!! They were calling her a ******. They got sent to the principal's office for it!!! YES!!!! It seems like my meeting with the principal worked. And if you knew my daughter. She is so, so sweet. She is still a child. But she is very caring and sweet. So consider staying in the school involvement. I think it makes a difference!!

Stephanie

Woohoo!! I have drank almost a full 20 oz of water and I walked around the block a couple times (for 10 minutes) on my 15 minute break at 10am!!! It feels so good to be back on track with everything! Actually, it's like I'm back with a vengeance!! I'm doing even better than I was doing before!! I'm coming back into it stronger and better!! I have so many goals that are happening this year that I want to look great for!! I got those great pants I want to fit into!! I'll be turning 30 in July. My ex boyfriend that I am friends with now is getting married in May. I'm invited to the wedding and I want to look fabulous for that! Plus I still would like to try to do the 5K on April 9th!! So, I really don't have too much time to slow down on this!! I'm glad I'm back on track now!! Thanks so much to all of you!!!

Stephanie
234/226/125
SW/CW/GW

Hey everyone; I have made it to curves 3 days in a row. I love it! I decided to go right after work. I knew something might happen if I came home 1st. I have supper in the oven and don't have much time. I am driking a lrg glass of WATER another plus.
Sorry I'm rambling again. Just excited.


Holly: I tried to update my weight tracker and goofed it up. It is the code in the midde we use isn't. I suffer from CRS and am totally computer illerate!!


BIG HUGS EVERYONE!!

Stephanie~ thank you so much. I got really choked up when I read your post this aft.It means so much to me that you shared that.
I called the principal and he was so sorrortive and kind and said he backs up me and the work I am doing 100%.
The trouble making parent commented to the principal that DS was part of a group of bullies. It was malicious, but i was wondering if it was a reaction to me being on school council. The principal and I had a great talk about it. He made me feel that I am valued and the project I am working on is more important than pettiness and that the people who matter, him, teachers invloved parents know it for what it is.
I wrote out a very rough first draft of the parent guide. It has gone out to council members to edit and input. I will send it to the kindergaten teacher and principal for thier input too.
Anyhow, I have cleared the muddle in my head.
I do believe in what i am doing and it is what I excell at. It feels FANTASTIC to be heading this project.
Hugs and thankyou Steph. My heart goes out to you for your challenges at yuour school.

hello everyone!
hope you are all doing well! i am feeling just fine. stayed over at work and got one job finished for the week i feel really good about that, the thing about my job is that is gets crazy busy for a while and just about when you are ready to scream it all mellows out and you have a chance to breathe. the WW is going well, i stress ate last night but i tracked all the points and am not over for the week yet so that is good. i have been too chicken to hop on the scale at home, i think i will just wait it out until saturday and see what the number is. i still am not exercising, thinking about it daily but not doing it. it will come.

stephanie- glad you liked the cereal i really do also. you sound so positive!! i am so glad to hear!! you are going to do great!! glad the job stress is calming down, sometimes you just have to go with the flow and see where life takes you. good luck girl!!

holly- 1) i think your idea for your gram is a good one, i bet she will appreciate the gesture. when you write about the battelax brigade it reminds me of cinderella. don't let them get to you!! 2)let DH stew for a while either he will come out a lovely soup, or he will boil over either way it sounds like you can handle him! 3) as far as the school stuff goes, if you enjoy being involved and helping out then don't let a group of nasty parents get in your way. you seem to be doing all of this just because you are a great mom and want to be there for your kids that is all that matters really.

mychoice- so glad things are winding down for you, you'll need all you have to be there for DH. good luck with his surgery!! my WW meeting is on saturday am. so i can't cheat on friday nights anymore lol.

spores- sorry you are in the dumps! the dinner you planned sounds great, and you are cooking at home good for you! about viewing yourself as a higher power, there is something i wish i could do. if only the other half of me would listen. WW is not a bad plan really, it is basically what i have been doing all along. i need the extra incentive of being charged money to get me moving right now though. lol whatever works go with it!! in response to being the cooking, cleaning person... i am the one here that does the majority of the house stuff, cooking cleaning, shopping, budget, bills etc. i don't really like it much but that is how it has worked out. we all have household jobs but i seem to have inherited the majority of them. (lucky me) this really wasn't a big deal when i stayed at home but now that i work 40+ hours a week it is alot to say the least. so i guess the point here is if you want to come over call first cause my house is a mess ROFL!

judy- we're her for you that's for certain. i hope the produce shopping went well. i shopped like a wild woman this past weekend and now i have so much stuff i'm not sure what to do with it all. i am not lacking in veggies this week at least. lol hope all is well!

hi debbie and girlie hope you are well!!
have a great night everyone!!

Susie~ I am glad all your ducks are in a row so you can focus on taking care of your man!!
Spores~it is good you acknowledged your feelings and wrote it out.It gives it wings. Keep working at your goals and things will fall in place as they are meant to be. Congrats on the workout and planning the healthy meal. Was it delish??
How are you feeling today?
Debbie~ once again, WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO< 3 days!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girlie~ what's up chick?
Jody~good on getting the work finished. BTW house work is NEVER done. Aren't your kids old enough for a fair share? Glad the WW is helping.
Judy~ how was your day?

Later Chicks!

good morning everyone,
ya'll mentioned housework. I married a guy whose mom was the oldfashioned type
stayed home kept a perfect house. Got straight up from the table and washed the dishes, would never dream of lettin them set for a while, even when she had company. The men did nothing in the home. You know the type. After 31 yr
of marriage DH will help me now. He won't cook but he will clean.
I have been doing better with the food
I actually drank 64oz of water yesterday.

Holly: DS1 is learning disabled and add-hd. We had a hard time with some of the schools. In the 2nd grade he started hating school. I turned out his principal took upon herself to not give him his meds. She said he was just had a behavior problem and she was spanking him daily. We went thru the roof as you can understand. He had been under the care a pedi-nuerosurgeon, and a had been in school since he was 2yrs old. He was in special-ed. She just thought
she knew more than the Dr's. The schoolboard fired her. Later we found out she had also spanked DS2 his 1st day in kindergarten. She really had a problem. We're not sure how she got her job to begin with.

I better go get ready for work, today is my long day. NO curves today, but I walk a lot on thurs.

EVERYONE HAVE A BLESSED DAY

Good morning all!!! Yesterday ended up being a really GREAT day!! I ate a total of 1,250 calories, walked for 10 minutes on each of my two 15 minute breaks, jogged for about 5 minutes and did calisthenics for about another 15 minutes. When I tried jogging, I found out that I'm still a little tired from my bronchitis. I'll try to go for more minutes jogging next time! I ate my fiber cereal and half banana last night and also got a total of 30 oz of water in!! All really great. I would've gotten more water in but the caffeine headache started hitting pretty bad yesterday evening. Had to start drinking some of that soda before I died! I must buy me some excedrin. That's how I broke myself from soda before! In 2002 when I did my 5K's, I managed to break myself from soda and was drinking water all the time with an occasional soda if I went out to eat on the weekend!! Anyway, I'm so very pleased to be back on the 'wagon'. I've eaten 200 calories so far today and have drank about 10 oz of water so far! On the right track!!! :)

Holly - you are very welcome! It gets very frustrating sometimes. I tell my little one just to do her best so she can make it through second grade and hopefully she'll have a better teacher next year!! I definitely think you're doing the right thing continuing in the council - especially if you enjoy it!! Way to go!!

Debbie - Great job working out 3 days in a row!!! That's awesome!! I know you wrote it to Holly but I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you've also had with the school system. I am glad to hear that there were repurcussions for the principal as she doing something so heinously wrong!! Thank you for sharing.

Jodi - thanks!! It is all going much better!! I feel everything is going to turn out just fine too. It's really good to feel that way.

Thanks again to you all. I'm doing so much better than at the start of this week!! And feeling great!!! :)

Stephanie
234/226/125
SW/CW/GW
Looking forward to seeing 225!!!! :)

Hi , I am at work so just a fast note to checker my weight tracker.
oh, It's 70+ degrees and sunny. LOVING IT!!!!

Hi Ladies.

Sorry this will be blah and depressing alert so if you're in a good mood, hop on over to the next post!

It's just been a very depressing day. They are doing some reorganization around my company and I lost my "office" - I now have a cubicle...so I have no privacy and can hear everyone's conversations. I lucked out before to have so much space and privacy.

Also, I got a rejection phone call for the job I've been interviewing for. I so thought I had it. I am very, very sad because I have been thinking of all the things I could have done with that extra money. I felt so good and confident...not to mention spent the money (credit card) on the new outfit and stuff...only to get a rejection. I feel very hopeless today, like nothing will ever get better, I'll always live paycheck to paycheck. It really sucks to never have money. I pay all my bills, but usually don't even have money to get sufficient groceries for two weeks, so like right now, we're just sorta making up stuff, eating cheap frozen pizzas on the weekends.

My mom called and she's not doing well. Her health is on decline and I don't have money to send her for her medications. No one can find a cure for her.

*sigh*

Sorry, I needed to vent. Many people have it so much worse than me and I shouldn't complain. It just feels better to do so.

Girlie

Girlie - I'm so sorry to hear all that! I don't even let myself get too excited or dream too much when I have an interview anymore. There's just less of a letdown that way. It's so disheartening interviewing. They tell you all this crap sometimes. It makes you think that you must be really close to having the position. They make you jump through all these hoops, then tell you 'Sorry'!! Sorry to rant! I just wish they were required to tell you at the end of the interview if they wanted you or not. (or within 24 hours) Something like that!! Love me or hate me, I wish they were just required to tell the truth!! I hate being strung along! Sorry to go off on my own rant! You all will find out that I am a very passionate, opinionated person! (but still very nice) Please don't hold it against me!! Girlie, I'm right there with you!! Just hang in there. We'll both find what we're looking for and needing when the time is right. :)

As for me, I have approximately 4.5 hours of work left!! I work until noon tomorrow. I'm actually beginning to get a little bit excited. It's always interesting going from one chapter to another in life. The changing (or ending) of a job is definitely the ending of a chapter and eventual beginning of a new chapter. I still don't have a clue what exactly is in store for me. But I am excited at the prospect of something different/new. I'm excited at trying to live my life as a higher power wishes and not be impatient wanting things in my time. If I don't have a job, I will make sure to keep busy doing fruitful things that I think would be in line with HIS wishes. I do not want to approach this time with stress and anxiety but instead with grace, wisdom, patience and faith. That said, I am very thankful to have such a wonderful group as you all to be able to share such words/thoughts with. Thank you! (and thank you so much for being so supportive when I was about to come unglued at the beginning of the week!! :D )

My diet is going well. I am at 600 cals eaten so far for the day. Leaves me plenty to work with at dinner. I've drank 20 oz. of water. Addictive soda!! :mad: And I've walked for 10 minutes at my two 15 minute breaks again. I'm very happy with this. I'm on track to have another great day!! :cool:

Stephanie
234/226/125
SW/CW/GW
Can't wait to see 225!!!