First of all, I'm so happy that our Punkin is back. Very sorry that you're suffering from SAD and I applaud your decision to take care of yourself in the winter months next year.

By the way, Dollar made an appearance on the Exercise thread!

Kaylets, I always love your posts. You're one of those people that I wish lived next door so I could come over and you could solve all my problems. Actually, I could say that about anyone here! K., I'm so sorry that there are more issues with DS. Sending good vibes for him and the check!

Zadie, your Leif sounds dreamy indeed!

QOD: If I could change my hair color, I'd change it to that dark burgundy/brown color for a while. Did I ever tell you about that time I tried to dye my hair that color and it came out a lovely shade of purple? My hair has too much grey for a home kit to come out right. I had to dye it black to cover it. I looked like Elvira, Mistress of the Dark!

I'm having a weird disjointed kind of day---tempted to eat but succumbed to a nap instead. Zero energy right now. Hoping to find my second wind.

Have I mentioned I'm seriously thinking about taking the plunge and getting a tattoo?

[Wildfire]

Geez, if I'da known all we had to do was YELL to get Punkin to post, I woulda done it looooong ago. Thanks for popping in, Punkin. I was getting worried! Sorry to hear the winter is beating you down....let's see..five days left in February, and the equinox is the 22nd this year? So just 27 days 'till Spring er...springs! Don't stress over the gain. With everything you've been through this past year, I'm still amazed that you were losing through it all. Call it a fresh start on the next leg of your journey.

Kaylets, you're very brave to be making your own yogurt. If I ever tried something like that, I'm sure I'd end up with mutant bacteria that demanded to be fed humans, my own Little Kitchen of Horrors.

zadie, sorry about the post muncher getting your posts. I guess someone forgot to feed him.

Eydie, go for it, girl! Any ideas on what type of tattoo?

Thanks for all the good vibes today. I'm really not sure what the outcome may be. They have asked for a fourth reference, and to give them one I may be putting my current job in jeopardy. There is just no one else I feel comfortable with letting them know I'm looking. Not sure what to do. They asked if they could contact a former employer on the east coast, but cripes, that was 7 years ago! I don't even know if the place is still in business or if anyone there would remember me. I don't think it's fair for me to ask for a reference...excuse me, INTERVIEW from the questions they are asking my references!...after all this time. I'm feeling if they want me, they know they want me this far in the process. I may just say sorry, you'll have to take three references. For god's sake, I used the former owner of the company and he gave me a fabulous reference, and I used one current and one former employee. I think that's enough, don't you? Plus I'm just plain getting tired of this whole process. Decide already.

On the plus side, however, they have excellent benefits and hours and I really would like to have the job. I'll know soon enough.

Hello to all!

[dollar]

Wildfire you are right what more do they want. It would be terrible if youended up losing the job you have now and then they don't hire you. I'm sending you lots of good vibes and Im keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Yesterday I spent my day off sitting in emerg with my son for 5 hours and we ended up going over to the doctors office because it was taking so long at the hospital. It was the docs office that told us to go because we would get and x-ray faster going that way then throught the office and we were concerned he broke his ankle. The doctors office saw him called the x-ray department told them we had been in emerg all day and would they please do the xray right away. We drove back to the hospital had the x-ray and when we left the person they called in at 1230 was just leaving it was 300 that person was the one before us we left the hospital for the docs at 200. As it turns out no break and he is much better today, so for my day off today I did nothing, well I went to the gym in the afternoon. Tommorrow it is shopping to spend my birthday money.. hurray. Everyone have a great day tommorrow.

[Amarantha2]

Yay, Punkin and Dollar are back in the palace and I'm feeling perkier already because of it!!!! Still having a bit of trouble staying awake right now ... posted on the other two threads and I've run out of stuff to say. Luckily I have no paying work to do right now.

Thanks to the s who mentioned the saline mist/wash ... I've seen that and may try it. Can you believe people used to come to Arizona to get away from allergies ... things have changed.

Punkin, sorry thou be in the seasonal dumps ... I think I already posted this but SAD seems to strike in the summer here, or so they tell me. A lot of people seem to stay indoors in dark air-conditioned rooms to avoid the sun ... I like the sun, though. Hope thou be staying outdoors as much as possible ... it's absolutely the best thing for seasonal depression ... don't worry about a small weight gain ... as thou sayest, you're down 50 pounds and that's awesome ... weight management is recursive, as we all knoweth, so just keep moving forward and don't worry about anything ... it really is worth it, in the end!!!

Dollar, thanks for participating in the exercise challenge ... it be so good to have thee back here. Sorry thou had to spend thy day off in the hospital waiting room ... that's awful, but it's lucky thy ds had no break after all.

Wildfire, I got here too late to send thee good vibes during thy interview but am sending them thy way anyhow. I wrote a long and pushy note of advice re thy reference dilemma but deleted it as it's none of my business, but I think thy path is clear ...

Kaylets, I admire thy yogurt making efforts. I wish I had the little yogurt maker my mom used decades ago in a galaxy far-far away! It just makes me smile thinking of her earnestly making yogurt in that thing ...

Woo, I discern depression creeping into my mien, so shall retire once again to the couch. Have to start working tomorrow ... and my head still hurts! But ever onward ...

[Kaylets]

Hello all!

Dollar!! I am so glad to see you! How the heck are you! Sorry to hear about DS's ankle .... it is amazing how quickly kids bones heal ... Glad to see you!

Punkin! I've been wondering! Glad to see you too! Sorry to hear your lamp isnt doing the trick this year but as you say... organic, chemical, biological.... there is a time and place for medication ....
As for stressing about your doctor might say : a) you are not the first patient whose plane needs tweaking.... b) How many folks would opt not to go back and find another doctor?? c) As you say, you 've already lost nearly 60 lbs...
this is just a detour, you are finding a new route .... that is all... the journey continues....

Wildfire! Does it have to be a business reference?? Can it be someone from the community? Sometimes, I think they do these t hings to see how we'd react in a stressful situation.... to get a gauge when they think we are "too good to be true" " no one can be this nice, etc" ....
Or perhaps a coworker -- colleague who is no l onger employed at your current employer?
You just never know when references will really be used.... Terrible to admit but, I have used a BIL one time when I was scrounging for references too.
Since then, I've had folks I've only worked w/ via the phone ask me if I'd be a reference, and in fact, have used them when writing my review...( Oh Geez, its almost time to do that again too!)

*** Update*** DS has "volunteered" to go to the recruiter's today. Personally, I believe its to deflect DH's ire for not attending 12 step meetings but ....
I withhold all other judgement.


****
Today's thought :
"We're only fragile thread, but what a tapestry we make!"
-- Jerry Ellis

"Have you ever been a tattletale?"
-- Table Topics from the Pampered Chef
***

***************************

Ralph Marsten's Motivator was especially good yesterday-- hope you enjoy as much as I did:

***************

Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Even though
You can be happy even when you are not. You can be positive even though there is no positive circumstance to be found in your world.
The smallest light can shine even in the darkest darkness. And it can make an enormous difference.

Some may call you a fool for seeing the positive possibilities when you're overwhelmed with difficulties. Yet you know that focusing on the positive is the most workable, realistic thing you can do.

For what would you achieve by being miserable? Not only is misery unpleasant to yourself and others, it accomplishes nothing of value.

Instead, when the world tells you to be miserable, don't listen, don't buy it. Turn your eyes toward the positive possibilities and focus your energy on the best of them.

You can acknowledge the reality of what is, the reality of your troubles, without letting them poison your attitude. Then look up, look forward, and move toward the best of what can be.

-- Ralph Marsten


********************

KETTLE IS ON!

[Punkinseed]

Ooooh, posting 2 days in a row? Watch out!

Blustery here today! It's so windy I've been listening to the chairs blow around on the back deck - I watched one scoot about 3 feet without tipping. Cool! Oh, and rain that's defying gravity ("falling" sideways).

Amarantha and Zadie! Thank you for the welcome back!

Eydie, I say do it! Get that tattoo!! It only hurts really bad for the first couple of minutes - then the endorphins kick in and it's really not so bad. Just remember to breeeeeeathe.....

Dollar, I'm glad your son's ankle/foot is ok! There's nothing worse than hanging out in the ER waiting (and waiting, and waiting, and waiting....).

Wildfire, yes, spring IS coming! I have bulbs coming up and well, the weeds are already sprouting!
Honestly, the biggest change in my mood came when the days started getting longer - I've felt SO much better in the last month so it's really only from mid-October to late January that I need to worry about... well, at least now I know!
About your job - now really, HOW many people's opinon's DO they need?????

Kaylets, actually, the lamp is still doing a great job! I have NO problem at all getting up at 5am during the winter months and in terms of severity of depression, as bad as I feel this year was, I know for a fact it could've been much, MUCH worse... so I still have faith that it's doing a maaahvelous job of keeping me sane!
What you said about this is "just a detour, you are finding a new route .... that is all... the journey continues" - I swear, I teared up. Thank you.

Well, I should probably away before the wind knocks out our power as it normally does with storms like this... No power means no work!

Toodles,
Terri

[wsw]

hi all! just a quickie post to say good to see you back, punkin! missed you. kaylets said it so well---this is a journey and you have lost so much weight already, which is fantastic. that is definitely what to concentrate on. hi dollar! glad your son's ankle was not broken. must have been so aggravating to be held hostage in an e.r. for so long. wildfire-any news yet about interview? i sent good vibes your way and will continue to.

hello eydie, amarantha, zadie k., cerise, and to all the courtly ones. my moving date was changed back to sat. the 6th, since the subletter changed his mind. i can't complain about having the extra time to get packed. i would have done it, of course, but this little extra breathing room is appreciated. it is cold and windy here today too, but the sun is out at least. there is possibility of ice/snow within the next couple of days, which i am hoping will not happen, both for moving prep/renovating and not to mention my sanity! well, off to pack, and kaylets, i am remembering your wise words, and trying to take this all 15 minutes at a time. hope things get better with ds situation. thinking of you all. take care.

[Cerise]

Good morning, Lambs.

Sorry for my absence yesterday. My good friend from Cambodia (she's American) wrote after a long silence with lots of news and wishes for advice about her love life, so I spent my writing energy on her. Doesn't mean I wasn't here reading, though!

Punkin is here!!!

My darling, I'm SO glad to "read" you!! I feel the same way you do, like a flower unfolding because the days are getting longer again. I've been on this thread but not as regularly as I'd have liked, and my writing hasn't been much fun, either. Usually my communication is restricted to my immediate family during the dark winter days. Everyone else is SOL until I start coming out of it. It's almost over, love. It's blustery here, today, too. My hair got blown every which way the entire walk to work this morning. I must've looked like a ho after a long night's work.

Kaylets, I liked what you said about sometimes the most important job is to applaud and cheer on those who have the limelight, the performance, the big quest ahead. You're so right. I've been a performer since I was 4 and was accustomed to being the one who was applauded, talked-up, etc. I got so uncomfortable with it in college - I should say, I got so uncomfortable with what it was doing to my ego; I still bask in applause, of course - that I've spent the last 5-6 years doing almost no performing at all, just to find "me". Cerise, not Cerise the Singer. During that time I've learned to cheerlead others, to let other people shine in my eyes and bask in their amazing-ness. It's a wonderful thing. It's also a wonderful thing to learn that people like me for ME, not just because I can sing. Before I sang all the time and could never be sure about why people liked me. Or, if I met someone new, I couldn't rest until they had heard me sing, since that's who I was. A Singer. What a prison that can become. And how painful it has been to curl up for half a decade and not use such a big part of me. But it hasn't been a waste of time. I think it's been good for me, though I long to enter the music world again and do my thing. Whew. A bit verbose this morning, aren't I? You always bring these thoughts out in me, K.

Anyway.

QOD: I was only a tattletale as a kid. Now, a "rat" is the lowest life form in my world. Except when I'm being harrassed at work. Then it's straight to the biggest dog in the poopy park.

Amarantha, you make me smile. About your deleting your long and pushy advice to Wildfire, I mean. I know exactly how you feel. When Kaylets was about to give that speech to those teenage girls, I wrote some long and pushy advice about how to talk to teenagers, then suddenly remembered that I haven't been a teen for 10 years and she's a mother of a teen to boot. Silly me. Deleted it with a red face. Aren't we funny?

Wildfire, God, I hate those careful, fussy, high-maintenance employers, but man, those are the folks who are handing out the choice jobs in my experience. The people who are just like, "We'll take ya" straight off have always turned out to be less-than-optimum work environments for me. Chin up, love. You're worth it. You're worth your efforts to get you into something good. So are you, Frogger!

Oooh, Eydie, what kinda tattoo? Not Tweety bird or anything, though, right? I got one in my central-lower-back. Hurt like ****, but not as horribly as you'd think. It's definitely something you can bear without too much suffering. I actually found the alcohol spraying and scrubbing to be more unpleasant than the actual needle. Or 7-needle tip, in my case. Yikes.

QOD yesterday: I'm not going to change my haircolor for a while. I just got the blond streak cut out of the front and am back to my own beloved dark, dark brown. I liked the streak because it was unusual, but saw a picture of myself with it and was struck by how unflattering it was. So, snip, snip. Now I look normal. Unremarkable. Trying to get used to it.

Zadie, I haven't actually seen "Orlando" yet. We saw a preview, but Blockbuster doesn't have it (chumps!), and we haven't drummed up the energy to find it somewhere else yet. So...Tilda Swinton would be a female? Hah! I win.

Love to all, I'm going to get to work.

Uhmmm, Punkin and Cerise--you're not helping by telling me it really hurts.... I'm thinking of an eye of Horus on my left leg, close to where I had the surgery. Kind of a ceremonial thing actually because after 1 1/2 years I feel like I'm finally getting over the truama of it. I love the symbolism of the eye, I'll always feel like I'm "watched" over! Wondering if there's such a thing as a 'celtic' style eye of Horus?

[Cerise]

We both said it doesn't hurt that bad! You get a kick out of in anyway, and I'm no masochist.

[Kaylets]

Hello all!

Well, tatoos were popular ( but not as popular as now) when I was in early 20's..... and I decided if I wanted one, I'd get one at 65 so if I got bored with it, wouldnt have that long to look at it..... But ... am not interested in any pain so perhaps they will be painless in 15 years...

Cerise--I have always wanted a good singing voice... perhaps there is some way you can sing again... I thought I'd be a writer when I was a teenager but than life happened... DH would be amazed when old friends would ask, "Are you still writing?" and I'd just shrug... He encouraged me for a long time to get back to writing and its funny, my excuse was always that I didnt have a good story line....I wind up writing up real life 99% of the time...

Perhaps you have some tips on how to figure out the sound in a new room...
Just got the date for the next level of the contest and I'm wondering what to do if the room echoes, or has a noisy heating system... Does it make sense to move closer to the audience?? This contest will not have a sound system..
that will be only the finals.....and that will be a whole other set of challenges...

Punkin---I still am almost "embarrassed" to admit I've been "getting" to goal for over 3 years.... but then again... I have lost, kept a lot off and AM making progress... learning, learning, learning.......Where do we get this idea that unless you drop it all like a bucket of water in the quickest possible way, that we "aren't doing it right" ... I don't get it... although for a long time, I bought into it.... so far, in my expeience, either being under 30 or spending hours a week running, etc... losing weight is not a fast experience....

*** Update*** Navy is not interested without a HS Diploma... GED is not enough... Army is acting interested...wants DS back next Wed for testing, physical, etc.... wants DS to lose 40 lbs (aprx)....
Hysterical how the healthy food in the fridge is now the good food .....


Empress--how's that bike boy ? and are you starting to feel better?

Eydie-- We had a tiny flurry go by last night... any more snow your way?

Wildfire-- Any word?

WSW- 15 minutes, 15 minutes.... toss, toss, toss.....

Zadie-- still melting up there?

Dollar-- So, are you still going to meetings on maintenance??

Ceara- what's new?

Anagram, Arabella, Seattle Jo, and everyone I forgot... HOW ARE YOU?

KETTLE IS ON!

[Kaylets]

Hello all!

Here it is, Thursday already!
How many days to your weighin??? Are there a
extra few steps you can take putting something away??... an extra run of the vaccuum?? reaching w/ the dustcloth up over the door?? or maybe reaching while washing a window??

Biology says every task our bodies do more than once, we try to "become more efficient"...
Our bodies are the original multitaskers!!

We've gotten so good at becoming "more efficient"... (in addition to our "modern" conveniences)
that many of us are carrying extra "energy" (extra pounds).

So, we have to outwit "progress" ...

A friend mentioned over the weekend that she uses the time of the washer and dryer cycle to walk...( walking, lifting, stretching)

The last three showers I've taken, I've spent a few minutes working that "ring" around the tub....( bending, stretching)

And when watching TV... if not every, every other commercial, I try to get up and do something... put away, wipe down, etc...

Let's share... let's see what other great ideas we have for doing just a little bit more in our daily routine...!!

****
Thought of the day :

"The next time you find yourself shouting at the top of your lungs, remember this:

The noisy thunder does nothing;
the silent lightning strikes."

Question of the day :

"How do you feel when you shop for new clothes?"
-- Table Topics by the Pampered Chef

******

Here we go Thursday, Here we go!

KETTLE IS ON!

[wsw]

good morning, courtly challengers! kaylets-last night i had to use that "15 mins., toss, toss" mantra to keep myself from getting too overwhelmed with what is still left to do. i have have a little over one week, so i probably am in much better shape than i think i am. nevertheless, i am having to remind myself more than a few times a day to "just breathe---."

i am staying op and keeping up with exercising, which is feeling good. snow/ice is due to begin soon and there is supposed to be a lot, so i am planning to use this time indoors to keep packing and weeding things out. even though i hate being stuck inside for several days or more at a time, i think i have enough boxes to keep me out of trouble and pack, pack, pack.

i have been very concerned because my secondary insurance with aetna through cobra will end on may 31. i have medicare a & b, which started last june (since i am on ssdi.) the secondary insurance is what has been paying for my prescriptions. so far, i have not been able to get any prescription coverage, so i am getting very nervous about this situation. i still have a few more options to check out, but at best, it looks like there may be some partial assistance towards ms treatment, and no coverage for everything else. this is freaking me out, but right now, i am doing everything i can be to check out possibilities, so i am trying to remember to "keep breathing" on that front too. i think this is what is adding to my moving prep stress also. well, enough of the bad news! the good news(!) is that the director of a helping hand, cathy, called me the other morning and nonchalantly said that she just had a donation from someone of a motorized wheelchair, and thought of me for it! i told her i have a manual one, and she said, she knew, but could i use a motorized one also. cathy said she can get a van to deliver it to me, and told me about the local handicapped transportation service which handles motorized wheelchairs, and told me to get an application so i can get out sometime in my new wheels. i was so overwhelmed by the generosity and kindness of this. what a nice way to be overwhelmed, though! when i have to use my wheelchair now, friends have to push me because i don't have enough arm strength, so this way, when i'm out and about, i can do the "driving." it's so funny, but i sure was reminded of how when one door closes, another one opens, not to mention, how blessed i am in so many ways!!!! granted, this thing will probably take up the whole condo.(!), but finding space for it will be a good challenge to have! talk about miracles! at the end of the conversation, cathy said "please let our organization give you this. consider it a house-warming gift. it would make us happy." wow!

there you have it. i was just about to feel sorry for myself because i still don't know what i will do regarding the meds situation, which is a biggie, but then something which is wonderful "drops in my lap." kind of hard to feel sorry for oneself with all these miracles happening. not to mention, that my friends said they can't wait to "go for rides" in my condo. and test drive the chair!

so enough me-me-me. i hope you know i am thinking of you all! you are such a great group, and speaking of being lucky---i am indeed lucky to know all of you. your support, warmth, and wit motivate and inspire me endlessly. thank you all so much for being here! take good care of yourselves.

all the best,
wsw

[Punkinseed]

Hello all!

Quicky note then I'm off to more work!

Scale made me a little happier this morning. I use 212 as my over/under number since that's what I weighed when I bought ALL my new clothes last August. I was 212.2 this morning, so that felt pretty good. Still 12.2 over my lowest, but I'll get back there, I know it...

Eydie, I love your Eye of Horus idea, I really do. The pain is a unique type of pain - there's numerous little tiny needles injecting ink under your skin. There's no way to quite describe it. It's no walk in the park, but it's not childbirth either.

Kaylets, yes, funny how the enjoyment of "health food" depends on what side of the fence you're on! Good luck to DS.

WSW, talk about good and bad in one shot! I'll keep my fingers crossed on the meds - I know just the one I take is amazingly expensive, I can't imagine what it must be like if you've got multiple prescriptions... And what a gift to get that electric wheelchair!

Well all, like I said, I must away to more work - shall try to return later!

Terri

[zadie k]

Just checking in. Busy day suing bad guys. Hard but very satisfying.