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-   -   Treating ourselves royally, behaving like royalty in 2011 (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/support-groups/221541-treating-ourselves-royally-behaving-like-royalty-2011-a.html)

Arabella 08-26-2011 07:47 AM

:wave: Hello beloved :queen:lies!

I apologize, too, for being MIA. One thing and another, doldrums & etc.

This week my former MIL died in New Brunswick and DS & I went over for the visitation and funeral. She was probably the most difficult person I've ever known but I guess I loved her anyway. It was a good trip. Really wonderful to have a visit with my ex, his sister and niece. Still all a part of me, despite everything.

Anyway, Rose was a big presence and it feels like the end of an era.

Long drive, 4.5 hours. We arrived just in time to change our clothes and go to the visitation. It was quiet and casual and we stayed for the whole time. Frank (my ex) put us up in the family home, an old house on the bay in St. Andrews, which is a lovely old town. He's fixing up the house, which had been sitting empty for the 7 years since his mom went into care. And had been in need of attention before then, plus packed with a combination of treasures and junk.

His sister and I spent a couple of hours before the funeral manually shredding old paperwork that had crammed a floor to ceiling filing cabinet. The day before, she'd started with cancelled cheques dating back to the fifties. :eek:

Anyway, I'm glad I went and happy to be home again. Scale this a.m. shows me a tad under ticker, hoping to maybe get in a bit more loss before the end of the month.

Now, speaking of dreaded EOM... I guess I'd better get to work. Love to all!

anagram 09-05-2011 09:39 AM

Apologies again, all around. Arabella, it sounds like the funeral trip was a cathartic one all around. A sort of "putting things in their places" time.

Sort of what it sounds like you are doing, Empress. Me too in some ways - always sort of ongoing.

It's been a tough two weeks or so here too. Like Kaylets, we've been deluged. For some reason, may basement seems to have sprung leaks and I must attend to all of that (translate $$$$$$$).

I was w/o power for 40 hours from Irene and scrambled to save what I could from freezer, fridge, etc. Through lots away but it would have been worse except that I'd been letting things run low because the big freezer in the basement needed defrosting. That's one way of getting it done!

I had been in Pville when the storm hit - was a bit lucky there. My car was parked at curb - between two trees. Both were halved by the storm but the one to the left of my car fell to the left and the one to the right, fell to the right. Eerie but I was g rateful.

So my power was out 12 hours before I got home - which made it really a scramble. Then DD&crew were here Saturday and Sunday - nice visit though.

Bad new for the week was my back. PT helped some but nonsense persisted. Now I've had on and off back problems dating to the 80s but dr. on Friday xrayed my back for first time in a long time. I was positively appalled when I say the x-rays. Couldn't believe that horrible curve in lumbar region is MY back. So for now I'm really pacing things. Go back to PT for another evaluation Thursday. Still doing exercises. Either way, this development definitely means I must speed up my search for a more compatible abode.

Garden looking better since fullness means weeds not showing so much but needs so much work - and I don'[t think it's going to get it. Mums will be blooming soon, though, and they're so lush and overpowering it will look good to anyone riding by on a fast horse ;)

Still don't know as much as I should about new computer. MUST get to that too. Haven't weighed yet today but I've been holding okay = no losing, just holding. But that's not all bad ;)

Back to drying up basement. Almost lost this post a moment ago and that would not have helped my sunny mood ;)

Arabella 09-07-2011 07:56 AM

Bah! My stupid laptop crapped out last night. I can work from DH's computer but it's clunky. I've decided not to freak out about all the writing I might have lost. I'll wait and see if it can be retrieved, even if the machine can't be fixed.

But it will not be a pretty scene if I can't retrieve my writing projects. A month or so ago, DH talked me out of signing up for a $5 a month automatic backup service.

My last couple of weeks were not stellar and I peeked at the scale this a.m. and it was registering up a couple of pounds. Hoping it's a blip, though. I've fully committed to eating only at the table when I'm alone again and I know, in combination with the other stuff I do, that'll work for me.

Anagram, so sorry to hear the bad news about your back! Stupid xrays!

40 hours without power would be quite a trial. I've never had to go without power for more than 6 hours or so and mostly never minded too much -- it's the only way for me to get a day off work, for one thing. But it would be awful to have to go so long and deal with all the attendant issues.

Yay for mums and fast horses!

That's pretty much all the news from here. Okay, I guess I'd better go start dealing with stupid reality.

Let's take this day we've been given and do our level best with it, eh.




anagram 09-09-2011 09:09 AM

Oh,, so sorry about laptop. Losing a laptop is one thing, losing all that writing is another. I'm still not adjusted to this new one.

Well, it's been another WEEK - I have not been overly affected by the flood problems locally but it's still been enervating. I had water in basement three mornings last week. two light days and one heavier. Am convinced I must research remedies and do whatever is necessary. All in all, it was nothing compared to so many but.......

I'm still stunned about the degree of changes in my back. I've known for more than 20 years that I had back problems but this was so graphic and a case of "nothing to be done", except for exercise, moderation, maybe an injection (had before), and/or maybe, when it worsens, surgery. Not too sure that would even be effective.

So, the creek is receding w/o covering the bridge and the other road out should be open by tomorrow as should many of the other local roads. Maybe we'll even get some sun. So many others will be months getting things back to normal so I am concentrating on all the good I have.

Anyway, still holding/up and down. Was at 197.8 one day this week which I now consider my "norm". Can't say I'm buckling down yet as things have been so hectic but surely soon.

Thinking of wsw and wondering if she's been able to move to another place and how you're faring.

Also, Kaylets, are you swimming?

And did the massive power outage affect our Empress?

Well it's time to stop procrastinating, do my back exercises, hit a local grocery (big sale on some veggies/fruits) and then the library. Sounds like a plan. Why don't I want to move on it ;)

Arabella 09-09-2011 04:13 PM

Turns out the laptop is toast but they were able to get the data off the hard drive, so things turned out okay. I've ordered a new laptop, too, which should be a big improvement from the old one.

After being a tad under ticker a few weeks ago, after a couple of less-than-stellar weeks, I'm 3 pounds over. Will fix ticker on Monday to be accurate so I hope I'm back down again then. :crossed:

Anagram, that's some good motivation to keep with your exercises. I know that I'm a little shocked at what I can't do in yoga that most people seem to have no problem with, in terms of joint flexibility. Of course, I'm expecting to improve.

K, DH is home and it's Friday evening. Cocktail hour... ;)

Have a lovely weekend!

Kaylets 09-13-2011 09:00 AM

Hello my Royals!

How interesting perspectve is especially afterwards---

Hurricane effect: I only lost sleep-- was awake 30 hrs; I am grateul sleep is all I lost but need to create a better game plan for next time. I was ok alone but there were many moments of doubt.

9/11 weekend: I appreciate how seeing those images of 9/11 over & over have numbed us although so many of us have a personal connection to the attack. I realized this weekend, in addition to my personal memories of 9/11/01, now I really understand the impact on the lives of the families.
A phrase often used is that now " I GET IT"..... it almost sounds flip, the meaning is deep.

Both of these experiences emotionally caught me off guard, actually, pulled the rug out from under me. Hurricane weekend, I had to force myself to control my nerves and emotions to be ready for whatever happened next ( eg--we had tornados touching down as a side effect of the hurricane).

9/11/2011- again alone and again amazed at the depth of feeling I was experiencing. And then realizing, that as shocked, hurt, angered as I was in 2001, I had no idea how profound loss is. And in watching the families, it was validation that we carry our losses with us forever.


9/12 I literarly was drained and needed the first long nap I've needed in a while. I went to a bereavement meeting but needed coffee to get me there.


And then, as I have mentioned before, during the meeting, I was craving cheeseburgers and french fries. This may sound disrespectful & perhaps it is but its so interesting how the brain sends an alert for frenchfries.

I did go to the grocery store afterwards & found some grapes and turkey breast which honestly, I enjoyed. But it was almost like craving a cigarette, this idea, always there.....frenchfries.....

Education. What an education.




Dogs are becoming very vocal about the morning walk so I must sign off but I send everyone my best and hope everyone is well.

Arabella 09-13-2011 10:00 AM

Good morning, :queen:lies! Another beautiful day here, even if I am backed up with work. I've been sneaking out from time to time and will continue to do so. I saw that the new laptop is "out for delivery." :hyper: Well timed, that, because DGS is coming over and I can let him have the luxury of playing on his DGF's computer for a while, so I can continue to work a bit after his arrival.

I've mapped out a timeline for accomplishing my Onederland by Christmas goal and it makes me feel reinvigorated about the whole weight loss thing again. I know I'm still gaining muscle from hot yoga but should still be able to do it.

Kaylets, I can understand how all these things have more impact than before. One of my strongest recollections from 9/11 is how strongly I wished my DH was home. It just felt like, at that kind of cataclysmic time, I needed him with me. And I can hardly imagine what it must be like not to have one's partner to turn to at those times.

Interesting about the cheeseburger and fries response. Not disrespectful but just an obvious sign that your mind and body need comfort and support. :hug:

Royal Ones, let's get out there and make this day work for us! xo

anagram 09-14-2011 10:20 AM

I SO relate to the "alone" thing, Kaylets. Felt it strongly as I was mopping up basement, etc. And lots of other times too.

After two hectic weeks, I am off to Pville for birthday celebrating. Am doing better backwise after therapy but basic situation will never go away so am (so far) being faithful about continuing exercises. They've totally messed up the tai chi classes (budget, new management, etc.) so I may have to look inbto that a bit more - teacher has other classes (in fact, I had started with him elsewhere) but I had sort of found a home where I've been going so, drat.....

But we move on or we stagnate, so I will move on however need be. But later, later.

Fall is expected to arrive here while I'm away - and since that's my FAVE season, all should be good. For some reason, this b.d. seems to be bothering me a bit - shouldn't, of course. But I often go through a bad spell just before b.d.s so maybe it's that. Though this year has not been nearly as bad as most - despite floods, hurricans, earthquakes, etc.

Some day I'll figure me out, maybe ;)

Howdy, howdy all Royals. If some are lurking, come back or check in.

deleted2 09-20-2011 09:42 AM

Hello Royals! Just passing thru and so good to see you're still here. Things are going well--I've finally met my weight loss goals [132 pounds :carrot:] and I intend to stay there, I have a cunning plan....

Arabella 09-21-2011 06:18 AM

Good morning, Queenlies!

I'd somehow gotten a bit off-track in August and am now getting my royal bee-hind planted firmly on the wagon. It's the time of year when things begin again -- choir practice, writing group, symphony.

Last week was brutal, work-wise, and simultaneously the weather was just glorious. I felt so much that life was passing me by, as I sat inside chained to the computer. To be honest, though, the reason I was so chained was that I'd lollygagged on getting stuff done and then was up against deadline. Sigh. Ok -- I'm not behind now and will keep it that way. :crossed:

Hot yoga continues to be beneficial, but still so challenging. Nevertheless, a friend was saying she saw huge changes in my body since the start and I guess I do too, in the mirror. It's a little hard on the ego realizing how I can have such huge changes and still be so very, very far from where I should be. Ah well. Welcome, Reality.

Anagram, I think of you and our Kaylets so often these days when something major occurs. It's really transformed the way I think about my marriage, helped me realize how much I do count on my husband, how much he is my partner. I know that the absence is something that I can just barely imagine. :hug:

Eydie, so nice to see you in the Palace! Congrats on reaching goal, too. :)

K, :queen:ies, let's get out there and make this one work for us!

deleted2 09-21-2011 07:17 AM

I've heard friends of mine say that hot yoga transformed their bodies--is that like Bikram yoga? I've not tried it. The thing that literally changed the shape of my body is Pilates, which is something I need to practice consistently.

Arabella 09-21-2011 08:49 AM

Yes, it's almost the same as Bikram except more inverted postures -- lots of down dogs, planks, forward bends. It's very rigourous, almost too much for me at my age but I'm thinking it'll make me younger and then it'll be just right. ;)

anagram 09-24-2011 10:37 AM

Eydie - how good to hear from you! And that you're at that glorious weight.

And Arabella, congrats on the big changes AND on being "caught up". And on appreciating what the loss of DH could bring. I know I look back on many times when I didn't totally appreciate and am amazed at how much better I know now and how much he needed to tolerate from me. ;)

I've been on the birthday whirl - up and down the same couple of pounds. Bad news re my reduced tai chi classes - poor instructor badly flooded and cutting back his classes for a while to rebuild. Now that I'm done PT though I'll be going back to pool next week.

We set three new records yesterday - most rain ever on that date, most rain ever for a September (and that's so far), and most ever rain for the year with 3 months to go. It would be so nice to be enjoying the fall weather which so far as been betwixt and between.

I'm planning to settle down and get serious once again. The back problems were a surprise (as to severity - known for years I had back problems) so must do all I can to make that situation bearable. I was priding myself on being flexible from tai chi and pool so x-rays were shocking. Can only say "it would have been worse otherwise".

Good news re birthday is that this year I went down a year ;)

Arabella 09-25-2011 06:48 AM

Happy Sunday!

Gearing up for a week in Halifax, here. I haven't been over in a little while for one reason or another. Last one was laptop giving up the ghost. But... here I go. I'm thinking that I'll see about working from the library from time to time to get out of the house/condo. I just can't bear being cooped up all day and then in all evening too.

Anagram, I hope your weather improves. Ours has done a turn-around and late summer/fall has been nice. Probably not sufficiently for a trip to the beach but I'm not counting it out quite yet.

You're right about back issues -- it WOULD have been worse -- and you're so wise to keep on with pool and tai chi.

Hot yoga-wise, I'd be in the remedial class if there was such a thing. I was reading about how there's a continuum muscle> ligament> bone and that yoga can redress issues all along the way. I'm still not really clear about what exactly happens as bodily imbalances happen but I know that I've got a lot of issues to redress. And I wish I'd practiced yoga more religiously for, say, the last 30 or so years. But can only go on from where we are and so we shall -- onward!

Have had the same thought re: DH -- he does have some things to put up with, my weight being one of them.

Just about to have a little breakfast and head out for a walk. Then hot yoga...

Let's make this a good one!

Kaylets 09-26-2011 11:11 AM

Hello all Royals!

Congrats Eydie, well done!
Everytime I see the Pilates machine advertised on tv, I think of you. So tempting but I have a collection of machines........


Anagram--the back xrays! yikes! reality checks can be so relentless! Sending a virtual hug as these kind of reality checks are not fun.


Woods Nymph-yoga always makes me think I will feel the same as after a deep tissue massage.....what do you think? is that how you feel afterwards?


special hello to our royal WSW. ... you are in my thoughts and hope you are doing well.


Sat morning walking the dogs I suddenly began super speed walking. Dogs loved it and since I could only keep up the pace less than a minute, we'd speed, normal and catch our breath, speed, etc several times. And I have to say, that feeling of blood rushing and getting warm was great.

Interesting how I spontaneously began this new routine, who knows where it will lead .....getting beyond a couple minutes would a vast improvement!
But I am also looking for more physical release of stress, etc to help with this reinvention journey I am traveling.
It's also research-- I am subject--getting material for the seminars I am going to offer.

And food-- have decided that since grocery shopping/cooking for one has become such a challenge for me, I am reinstating some old rules..... trying at least one new thing a week--recipe, flavor, spice. I expect my big emphasis will be soups/crock pot cooking. Have been much better taking supplements/vitamins and honestly, I can feel a difference.

So....like so many other times, trying to force the issue with me only met with resistance, and a simple short walk turned brought me around that blind curve. Still don't see the view but I'm now beginning to look forward to seeing it.

Coincidentally, Hospice is having their yearly Memorial---I am attending with someone I knew when we were both caregivers. They wanted a photo for the slide show-- I sent them one of DH and I standing in front of the Grand Canyon, laughing.

Talk to all soon.


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