I stayed the same. , it could've been worse and I know where I went wrong, so there's no long term damage, unless I make a huge song and dance about how I've mucked it up again, fall into self pity and self sabotage.

Nicki

KELLI!

It's so good to see you posting again. Life I know for you is extremely tough and I think no I know that you are one strong woman to be able to function as well as you do considering all that's going on.

So you've fallen off the wagon, so what! We all do, no one is perfect, that's life. The secret is to take care of your priorities which right now for you I guess is your son.

This certainly isn't the time and place for a lecture of how to eat, this is the time and place for lots of

Nicki

Kelli,

Hi!!!!! Take care of yourself as best you can - which includes being gentle with yourself. You son sounds like the priority at the moment and that is what you are focussing on.

Hugs all around.

Nicki- I think it is all about learning and changing and learning and changing.....small steps. So glad you are not self sabatoging.

I am having a roughish day. Had class the last three days and am exhausted. So I napped today but I have much homework. I have eaten ok. Have a bad sweet tooth today. Had a minor binge on fiber one bars - but still have enough calories left for dinner. Will eat a healthy dinner. That is my promise to myself.

Hugs again.

Ash how was your healthy dinner?

I'm snacking on a pile of fruit right now,I have a small bowl filled with grapes strawberries cherries 1 peach 1 banana and an apple. That should keep me going until teatime.

Kelli

Nicki

Ahkk. Did not do well last night. Had my healthy dinner then found the brownies the dd made last week. Had a mini binge. I am committed to eating OP starting today.

That bowl of fruit sounds delish. Will have to get some more fruit from the store.

I am reading and writing all day today. Still not sure the grad school idea was a good one.

Have great day.

Ash

Ok Kelli it's friendly butt kicking time, but first of all have a big

Now to business.

Why are you slowly killing yourself? Stop right now and just think what you're doing. Are you being fair to yourself, are'nt you worth a little care and attention? As for this so called amazing acai berry. I've spent some time looking it up on google and although it could help I personally don't believe it's the answer and it's also quite clear that there's a lot of scams out as well, so if you do decide to use it, take care.

Maybe you should for the next week write down what you eat, when you eat, and what mood you're in not only whilst you're eating but also just before you eat and maybe an hour after you've eaten. This may show a pattern of emotional, boredom, anger, happiness etc triggers, it may show a pattern of the types of food you eat when you're in certain frames of mind. It may also flag up trigger foods that cause you to binge as well.

So Kelli take a deep breath , enjoy the fruit and for once in your life realise that you can love yourself without being selfish, it fact be selfish, look after number one and jump back on the healthy eating wagon. We're here for you and this time I'm tempted to use super glue on your butt, to make sure you can't fall off again.

So Kelli what's it to be, give in or take that step which will lead you down the road to health.? The choice is yours and yours alone.

Nicki

Kelli,

I am glad Nicki's butt kicking hit a nerve! Somehow you have to find a way to care for yourself while you care for everyone else.

So are you going to keep track of what you are eating and what you are feeling this week? It's a great idea. I'll do it with you if you want a partner. We can keep it private or share, whatever works for you.

So glad you checked in. Keep coming back.

I'm glad I could help Kelli, but to be honest I was also giving myself the pep talk at the same time.

Ash I like the idea of you and Kelli working together on your food diaries it does help having a friend to do it with. I was lucky I have an on line friend on another board who I did the same with. We did it via private messages, because neither of us wanted the world to know how bad our eating had got. I learnt that my trigger foods to a binge are, buscuits (cookies) white bread, milk chocolate. The worst time of the day for me to eat any of these was early evening, second worst time was early afternoon.

Now to both Kelli and Ash I'm going to make a promise.

I will be here for both of you no matter what, I will support you through the highs and the lows. I don't care how long it takes , or the means you decide to get the weight off. Even if I lose my weight first I will still be here encouraging you both on. Then once we have all reached our goal I will still be here encouraging you both as well as myself to keep the weight off, because that is of equal importance.

Nicki

Nicki,

Thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes that is all we need to keep moving in the right direction. I am here for you too. Through thick to thin!

Gotta go ready for a Dr's appointment.

Have a great day!

Do either of you remember that old song 'One wheel on my wagon?' well this morning the wheel fell off my shopping trolley and bounced down the road to be finally run over by a double decker bus! So guess who then bought a new one, I nearly died when I found out how much it cost, around $70 (changed currency it was of course in pounds not dollars and it was £35. Still the last one lasted over 11 years and was in use nearly every day so I hope this one lasts as long at least.

Nothing to report on my eating, things are just ticking along, which is how I like it.

Nicki

Kelli we could always send our before and after photos the old fashioned way, via snail mail. Exchange e.mails via the PM system here then arrange to send each other a before picture. It is an option, not fast or instant, and it would cost postage I admit but we would have the photo's.

Nicki