Ani first of all and then
you didnt come all this way just to go back to bad habits and gain it all back.. a few doesnt matter turns into a few more and before you know it your packing back on the pounds.. sure ive never got as close as you to my goal but i know where you are at i have been there too many times before.. and look where i ended up... the smallest i have manged to get down to in the last 8 years is somewhere in the 90's and the highest i got before this time was 118 i think.


you can do it ani you just have to bleieve in yourself and you will be fine .. go ani go


Im kicking my own butt and im hoping for a good weight loss this week did 18ks in an hour on the elliptical yesterday and 9ks in 30 today .. i have done similar Everyday since i got it bar one .. and im sticking to my calories pretty well too.. apart from yesterday when some kettle chips got the better of me pinned me down and jumped down my throat all on there own.. lol .. but other then that i have stuck to 1500-1700 cals everyday and im feeling great .. finger xed on a good result for the week


Kel did you get to the gym?????? if not i hope you went for a walk??? anything eat better ,???feel better???? i hope you feel better soon

Hey girls!

Kel, I have depression too (must be the in thing). I am usually aware of when an episode is coming on, and it wasn't until recently that my counsellor gave me some practical advice about what to do.

Instead of letting it go, and falling off the wagon completely (which is usually pretty spectacular in my case), I divert my attention to something else. I really have to be aware of things, because once I'm gone, I'm gone. So I take a walk, or ride the tram, or anything that will break the pattern. (Disclaimer: I am taking medication for this as well).

*shrug* helps for me.

Welcome Ruth! I'm not the most reliable poster, but when I'm here I'm friendly! It's nice to meet you. The things the other girls said above are true - we're always here for support.

Thanks for all the welcome backs, too. It's nice to see! Started thinking about exercise again recently. With the Tour de France on at the moment, I'd love to buy a bike. I used to ride all the time back home.

Ok, enough from me for now. Will pop by tomorrow.

Thanks girls - I feel bruised now .

Today's goals:

1. Eat no more than 1600 calories.

2. Drink at least a litre of water.

3. Get at least six hours' sleep.

Amy I set myself an "upper limit" to try and prevent myself from gaining all the weight (in the past I've lost weight and gained it all back again). At this point in time my limit is 78kg - I am banned from going above that . I weighed myself this morning and I am 76.7kg, so not as bad as I was expecting.

OK, need to get ready for work.

Kylie I am so glad you're back. All we need is for Lindor and Barb to come back too…

no no no Ani, don't allow yourself to stray off track! Sounds to me like you need to start setting some different goals. Do you keep a diary of everything? That's probably the one tool that helps me more than anything. I write down literally everything that goes in my mouth and I write down every bit of exercise that I do.

I really do find that I will think twice about eating certain things when I know I have to write it down and I push myself harder at the gym knowing that I'm going to write down what I do for my workout.

A star chart is also something that worked well for me. Just like parents do to reward a child's good behaviour, I kept a chart on my wall and gave myself a star for each day that I went to the gym. I actually got a real kick out of seeing the weeks that were filled with stars!

I had a great day yesterday, stuck to my points and did a 20 minute run followed by 20 minutes of 75 second walk/45 second sprint intervals.

Went to cook macaroni cheese for dinner and buggered up the cheese sauce so spectacularly that I had to bin the whole lot so ended up having a much healthier meal of plain pasta and veggies. Tonight I'll buy a packet of cheese sauce to pour over the rest. Much safer. It's funny, no matter how much I try, cheese sauce is the one thing I just can not cook!

This morning I took my car to the panelbeater and I won't get it back till tomorrow afternoon so that means no gym for me tonight as it would be too late and dark (and a pain in the a**!) to bus home afterward.

Goal for today: Stick to my points.

Have a great day ladies

A star chart? That's an excellent idea - I'm going to do it.

And I'm going to try your idea of a food diary as well - I'll just do it for a week and see how that goes.

Thank you

twinkle twinkle little star!! that is actually kinda cool.....

hey hey
guess what
today weigh in 90.1kg!!! last week was 91.7kg so i think that is more than a kilo lost - i dont do numbers i just cant be bothered.
woohoo

i went to the gym!
i went monday afternoon! and then picked jemima up on the way home and then took the dogs for a walk! (i got a new lead it is a three way rainbow one!)
then
yesterday i went to the gym AGAIN
did 149 cal on monday and 194 cal yesterday according the treadmill, which is ok for how long it has been since i've done ANY exercise (but i used to do more than 300 cal in the same amount of time)
have totally been thinking about what i've been eating.

doc has doubled my medication and i am feeling awesome - still find it hard to get out of bed but that is just me - FINALLY have an awesome shrink too and had a fab session on monday where she is helping me understand it all - she says i have a long way to go but it feels like i am on the right track, simple things like important and unimportant things you can and can not control and the balance of this seems to be where i get in trouble so those thoughts are helping already

thanks heaps for all your help girls, i know it is a personal thing to discuss

oh and maybe TMI but i dont care - for the first time in 27 months i am having a visit from george! it is that time of the month and it is weird, more than 2 years feels like forever! its funny though jemima watched me go and get a pad from my drawer and i swear she thought it was so normal that mummy was getting a nappy..... she is so cute!

Love your work Kel that's all awesome news!



Fruit and Veg party for you!!

I'm so pleased that the meds are working and that you have a good counsellor to talk to. You may have a long way to go but you're on the right path and that's awesome.

I was talking with a friend last night and complaining that I'm sick of being single but I never meet any interesting men and that until Tattoo Boy, I hadn't had a proper crush on anyone in 8 years.

Then, it occurred to me .... I've been chronically depressed, self medicating with drugs and alcohol and food. I've been fat, unfit, unhealthy and I've hated myself for all of those 8 years. It's no wonder I haven't liked anyone and haven't had a relationship! I wasn't capable of loving myself, let alone anyone else.

Wow, what an epiphany!

I feel so positive after realising that. It makes me think of just how far I've come in the past year. I've stopped binge drinking, stopped smoking, started looking after myself and started to value myself.

I'm so proud of myself

wow julia that is cool - i guess if you cant see a reason to love yourself you would never allow the possibility of someone else loving you - that's huge

ani - i dont want to give you an out - but - i was thinking - perhaps when you first set your end goal you did not think you would look so awesome and feel so amazing like you do now - so maybe you are done?? at least for a while??? or do you see yourself in 6.5kg time and REALLY want to be there??

What an exciting lunch break I just had. Went to see Tattoo Boy about the next project and he bent me over and pulled down my skirt

Sadly it wasn't in the manner in which I would have liked, he was taking a photo of the lizard I have on my lower back so that he can design something for me

The great news is that he thinks he'll be able to cover the lizard (it's an ugly, plain black thing I got when I was 15) with a beautiful bird. So he's going to do some research today and tonight and we'll get started tomorrow.

Yippeee!

I must say that I'm finding it such a pain being car-less. Thank goodness I should be able to get it back this afternoon. No gym yesterday and I can't go today either as I've got a hair appointment after work. Almost fell over in the bus this morning and practically ended up in somebody's lap as the bus driver took off before I was able to grab something to hold.

I did really well with my diet yesterday and plan on doing the same today.

How's everyone else travelling?

Hope you're all great.

too funny! i would have loved to see you bent over tattoo boy! so what is the deal with tattoo boy?? you and him just friends?? or are you secretly hoping he gets rid of apparent girlfriend???

guess where i went today
THE GYM
209cal - bring it on! (still not working out to my peak but baby steps people!)

and been awesome with my diet
woohoo

go everyone

wow everyone sounds like they are having a great couple of days. I havent been to bad, prob not ENOUGH calories which can be just as damaging but....

Went to Twba hospital with my 7yr old y/day. She may have a disease in her hip called perthes disease. She has been for numerous xrays and ultrasounds since thursday last week. Has been a bit of a whirlwind. Dr Thursday xrays n ultrasounds that afternoon have to keep her from running jumping riding bike. Man how do you keep an active 7 yr old down?

Orthopeadic surgeon again after her MRI in a couple of weeks and taking it from there.

apart from that everything going great guns. Studying hard assignment due already lmao.

I LOVE LIFE

Yes, just friends with Tattoo Boy and more than happy with that.

I had my hair done last night, was there for 3 hours and it cost $150 but I'm so pleased with it. It's a lot lighter than I've ever gone before and it looks awesome.

Kel you're sounding so positive, it's really awesome to see

Vonni I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. Fingers crossed that everything will be okay

I had a good food day yesterday and am planning on doing the same today. Only working a half day then spending the afternoon getting inked. Woohoo!

Julia bent over huh?? you ot us all excited then talk about some lizard... wish you had talked about a snake instead.... lmao....

yeah i know im bad..

Kel i feel like having a party on so happy you are ghetting that groove of your back..

Vonni im sorry about your daughter and hope they find very little with there tests.. and just put it down to growing you cant keep a 7 yo down.. not for a minute..

As for me.. well leah had her first ever day at kindy yesterday and i felt empty alone and lost.. .. lmao.. i came home with Cameron and John ( Cameron had an extra week off becuase he has had a cold.. John has been home and the school was doing swimming.. in the middle of damn winter).. anyway i came home fiddled around for 20 minutes .. felt lost and like i needed to go out.. so we went up to the target toy sale.. decided which trampoline the kids were getting for xmas.. go some groceries and wasted all the time until pick up.. the whole time i saw other mums with there daughters and felt sad and jealous of them.. omg.. im terrible i know ..

We picked leah up and she had a rash from her backside down to her ankles.. little terror went in the sandpit i think.. and she whined all afternoon.. so i gave her claratine and smothered her in cream.. and after lunch we went ten pin bowling.. it was great .. ..wednesday night we went out for dinner.. and John bought me a lemon ruski and two glasses of wine... and i was drunk.. lmao .. ( i dont drink at all so!!) we had more wine and some baileys when we got home.. and i annoyed him the rest of the night.. . i drank over a 1.5 litres of water .. in the night becuase i was feeling sick.. and managed to wake up with out chucking or a head ache..

so yeah i have gained a bit of weight since earlier in the week .. i was down 700 grams more but this week i am down ther 119.9 kilos.. .. yeah under 120.. woohoo.. "just" lol.. i was 121 last week so im happy with that considering my big bender pub meal and lasngna last night .. just to name a few off plan things this week including .. not enough exercise.. ( the right kind anyway.. lol). BUt John left this morning .. so im back op.. and back to normal today ..

wooo hoooooooo under 120kg!!!!! you GO GO GO girl
that really is cool
and dont be silly about feeling silly about feeling jealous in the shops when you see other mums and their kids.... i feel EXACTLY the same way!
i see them (and think their kids are gawky looking) and wish i had my jemima with me she is amazing.....
what tramp are you getting your kids?? i ended up preordering the target one the 14ft oval with net

vonni - that is scary about your daughter! is she going to be ok?? is it scary treatment?? is it ongoing for ages??

i had something to tell ani too but i think i have forgotten - something like how things change..... oh thats right i was thinking how the first time i went on optifast i remember i was doing really well and then i had a malteaser yes you read right ONE malteaser and i thought that i had failed big time there was no way i would lose weight that week it was all over
and i was thinking today that if i have ONE malteaser and just ONE then that is not that bad at all....
so i was thinking that that is maybe how ani you are thinking about your weightloss now and how different you must be thinking every day from when you first started... do you know what i mean??
the amount you eat and why you eat and everything has changed so much you have done what we all are trying to do which is make a healthy lifestyle change, now your everyday is different so then your mind track has to be different too
your ONE malteaser is most likely something else that in your new 70odd kilo world will be something you only did in 120odd kilo world - do you know what i mean???

life is like a box of chocolates - if you read the little card you WILL know what you are going to get!
mwah mwah mwah

lmao..kel.. glad to know im not the only crazy jealous mum who wants to stick my gorgeous kids in front of others and wave them like.. a flag.. cause there sooo cute and polite and good.. lmao..

we actually wen and stood next to the tramps.. the 14 ft as a great shape but was skinny and we decided with our 2 looneys on it the circle being wide all around would be a better choice.. we got the 12 ft circle.. it is huge.. lol.. especially since Cameron has motor skill problems ( gross and fine motor skills and muscle weakness and low muscle tone) and falls over all the time.. Leah is more co-ordinated then Cam and half his age.. . but he has improved a **** of a lot.. so im dont worry aboiut him so much.. now.. he does swimming lessons an soccer .. to help his body ..

so the 12 ft being a large mat all around was better for cameron.. even though the oval was so much better for our back yard.. its on xmas layby .. and the circle was 299 the oval was 399 ( i have to say the oval looked better made becuase the legs had more support on them ) .. so the price helped with the decision too ..