I am definitely changing my last name when I get married. My last name is very hard to pronouce, and my fiance's last name is easy to pronounce. I have been longing for an easy last name, and I will get my wish next year. I don't feel that I'll be losing any of my identity because my name doesn't really shape who I am. I'll be happy to have a common name that more people can pronouce and hopefully won't butcher on a daily basis.

I swore up and down that I was going to marry the first guy with the last name "Adams" after a lifetime of being at the bottom of the alpha order with 11 letters. That didn't work out but I did try to convince my fiance that we should both change our names! That didn't work either...

Shannon- I agree, the name change through the court thing is stupid. I hope the change is retroactive for you. As with so many things wedding, I swear it's just another way to get at your checkbook! And your time!

I am taking SO's last name mostly for the having kids and wanting the same last name reason.
When I was married in my early 20's I took his last name but I have more connections in my field and would keep my name for that reason but family is my priority.
My mother re-married when I was really young so I dont remember ever having the same last name and it was a headache when filling out forms and such.
I want my family to all have the same last name- and it means a lot to SO :)

Good afternoon all. So, my fiance and I went to check out our potential wedding site today. We want to get married at a winery in Virginia, about an hour from Washington and where we live in Northern Virginia. I have never been to the winery before, but he has been there for a wine tasting before and said it was really nice. I checked out their website and it looked nice, plus they have affordable wedding packages. Their website said you should make an appointment to talk to someone there about weddings, but they said that's only available on weekdays. I can't go on a weekday because of work, so I called to ask about coming on a weekend and was told they take "walk-ins" on Saturdays between 11-2. So, we went out there - I was intending to book the place and talk to someone about catering, flowers, that sort of thing. We got there, was showed around outside by someone, and was told that the lady we need to talk to should be getting there soon. So we waited around for about 30 minutes, and they told us she was on her way, blah blah blah. After waiting another 15 minutes, I told them I didn't want to wait any longer and wanted to fill out a contract without that lady. I hate waiting and waiting and waiting. They gave me some contract to fill out, but didn't even tell me what to write down and it was a bit confusing. Eventually the girl who had been helping us said I should just put my name and phone number and the lady would call me later. I was a little worried because when I called earlier that week they said you have to put a %50 deposit down to book a day, but she said that we didn't need to do that, and as long as we wrote the date we wanted on the paper I wrote my name and number then we shouldn't worry about losing that date. So, I left without putting a deposit down or really talking to anyone seriously about it.

I have to say I'm pretty pissed about it. We drove an hour out there and we didn't even get to really speak to anyone about details. My fiance said I need to not get so upset because we have a year to get all of the details set, but I don't care if we have 2 years - I wanted to leave with the security of knowing that we paid for that date and no one could take it away from me. I was told the lady would contact me in a few days (which probably means after Thanksgiving) and she would send me details and blah blah blah. I guess I can't do much more except wait, and give them a call after Thanksgiving if I haven't heard from them after the holiday. I probably shouldn't get upset but I was so hoping to get my date reserved, and even though the girl told me there should be no reason that I can't have the date I chose, I still don't feel great about it.

I hope the next year of planning isn't going to go as crappy as today went.

I had a question to ask: when do you send invitations out? We are getting married next October, so when do I send the invitations? I don't know much about wedding practices.

I'm sorry that they were such a disappointment! Wow, that's pretty bad... We had already put down our deposit when we met with the coordinator (the hotel where we are getting married is in my hometown and I'm extremely familiar with it)... well, she asked us for our deposit at the end of the meeting and then realized that she just had no idea who we were! So much for the personal experience, huh?

Just make sure you keep really good records- save every email and correspondence. It will get better and you will hit your stride!

As far as invites go- they say 2 months before the wedding, I think. We are slated for next August and because it's in a resort town and everyone is out of town, we are doing save-the-dates and encouraging making hotel reservations just after New Year's. We will get the invites out on the regular schedule, though.

Well, in my big slump last month I found a Maggie Sottero dress that I thought I liked enough to be the one... well, today I went out with reinforcements and I found the REAL one. I put down the deposit and everything! It's was slightly out of the price range, but I couldn't see getting another dress. Here it is:
http://www.t-mobilepictures.com/phot...91ndpvhpypovkz

wow that would be so frustrating! I'm sorry that was your experience and hope it gets better!
I too have gotten the run-around from our reception site, they keep telling me I am on their calendar and not to worry. Like you said- I just want to know that where we have told everyone it will be and where I have planned everything around will in fact be ours for that day!
I'm glad your FI is calm and reassuring about it and I hope they get back to you and everything works out perfectly :)

Junebug your dress is gorgeous!!!
OMG! you are going to be such a beautiful bride!

thanks for the reassurance and support everyone - i still am in a bit of shock that i have to plan a wedding - I really didn't expect to be engaged at least for another 6 months, and this was so out of the blue that I am still a little overwhelmed at the planning since I never really thought about it before. It is AWESOME to have 3FC to come to and chat and get advice - I don't have any friends that are married, so i can use all of the advice in the world about getting things planned for the big day. I think I just need to keep my cool about everything because I don't want to become a pyscho bride like you see on TV.

Junebug - that dress is BEAUTIFUL and you look AMAZING in it!!! I absolutely love it! I'm so glad you were able to find something you love. I haven't started trying on dresses yet, but I have been looking online, and I am excited to start trying on some soon. You look so slim!!!

Thanks, girls! You make me :o

I'm in the same boat- no one I know seems to know about planning weddings. Between worrying about being taken for a ride by vendors, everyone around me losing their minds, dress shopping being a nightmare (till today!), I was definitely NOT enjoying the experience. I bought a bunch of wedding themed books the other day, one of which was The Conscious Bride. While some of the text is sort of skim-right-over-cheesey, a lot of it I felt was written directly to me! It tackled the almost overwhelming sense of lonliness I felt at the beginning along with the crazies that come out of the woodwork and gave me a lot to contemplate. It was just nice to read a comforting word, you know :)

Is anyone planning on doing a basket of goodies for the out of towners? Our wedding is about 5 hours from here, so everyone is an out of towner. I was thinking a basket with:

Bottled water
Snacks
Pamphlets to things in the area:
~Mendocino Botanical Gardens
~Point Cabrillo Light House
~Skunk Train
~Pacific Star Winery
Bottle of local wine, 2 inexpensive wine glasses, cork screw


Anyone else doing something similar?

Shannon

I hear you about not knowing what to do. We made a list early on of what we thought we needed to address (there are millions of lists online to refer to) and just started clipping away. I have been told (and discovered it is true) that one thing will work and everything will just come together. For me it was the bridesmaids' dresses. Once that color and look was set, everything else just seemed to flow.

We have had our disagreements over wedding stuff but we have been very conscious of the fact that this is a stressful time with pressure coming from many different directions. The biggest disagreement came over expectations- my fiance's family expected a very lavish affair and my family expected a very budget-consious event that more resembled a family reunion.

I have been contemplating guest baskets, too. I think I may skip them in favor of a nice itinerary for the weekend along with a handwritten thank you note from us. We are doing a departure brunch Sunday morning and I decided to focus my money on opening that up to as many people as would like to attend, including in-town guests. I know our families will get along well so I'm sure the "locals" will want to keep the party going!

This Turkey Day, I expect some pressure to include fringe family members. Here's my response: The wedding should not be all about the couple but rather of reflection of the couple. We are achieving that through our guest list by inviting the people who have played a significant role in our lives, whether family or friends. For these people, we will do just about anything- provide child care, special meals, etc.- with all the accompanying expenses to make sure they can be there with us. In all of this, we have to keep in mind limited space and an actual budget.

Oh, I have to share my Christmas gift list (sorry this is already a super long post). I'm getting my parents and siblings gift certificates for the hotel where we have booked the room block since they will have to travel to our wedding.

Great Christmas gift idea!

I do like your response. This is your wedding but it seems you are being very sensitive towards your guests needs. We are doing baskets mainly because we don't want to be responsible for entertaining everyone all weekend long. This is our honeymoon as well as our wedding and we want some time alone. My guess is most of our guests will only be staying 1 or 2 nights. The only people I imagine staying longer are my sisters coming from back east. So we will spend some time with them but they will rent a car and explore together.

We also are taking great care to only invite people who are truly happy for us and supportive of our relationship. Which means I am not inviting my Mom. Once I commited to that decision I felt so much relief. Sadly, so did my sisters. They didn't want to deal with her drama anymore than I did. Also, we are both a tad older (31 and 41) and we don't have any family expectations of our wedding. Everyone just seems excited to see what we do and enjoy our day.


Shannon

Shannon- I'm so glad you have your family's support!

For the most part, I do, too. Unfortunately, my aunts and mom have always tried to pull together their family and make peace and it always results in some drama- it's just not something I want at our wedding. I prefer to focus on the positive and let the negative eat somewhere else on their own dime ;)

I survived Thanksgiving! It was a very subtle lesson in passive-aggressive behavior. The issue of including fringe family never came up but was told point-blank I will not be having a bridal shower. Yippee! A $10 or even $50 toaster is hardly an even trade for kicking people I know and like off my guest list to provide a meal and open bar for uncles who, in their own words, "don't know which one I am" and who, after all the fuss, won't show up anyway. I'm free!

The wedding planning is almost done! How are you guys doing?

:lol: Good for you! I'm lucky that both of us come from small families, but I still run into that. For example, a friend of a friend, who I don't even particularly like was at my house the other night. I see her maybe once every 3 years by default and she actually said, "so. jen. Just tell me, am I invited to your wedding? I'm invited, right?"

Excuse me?

I've gotten this a few times from people I never thought to add to the guest list. What on earth do you say???

I meet with the florist on sunday morning. The other MOH is in town, so it will be nice to have her along. Did you guys take your DF's to those type of meetings? I think he wants to be a part of it, but I also think it will bore him to tears. Also, any advice for those of you that have met with florists? They are from my hometown but are in denver for the weekend and I'm worried that will make me feel like I HAVE to sign the contract that day.

Don't be pressured! I met with my florist twice before signing anything. I got not only prices but also a feel for whether the designer was willing to work within my budget.

The first meeting focused on what I could get for what I was willing to spend.

The second meeting is where we really laid out number of bouquets, centerpieces, etc. My florist is willing to make changes up to two weeks before the wedding so I can change flowers if the weather causes a price increase, etc.

I brought my fiance to both meetings because he short-circuited when I told him what flowers would cost. I figured it was a good idea to let him ask questions directly instead of driving me crazy with questions like, "Do you really need a bouquet?" He's still not happy with the price but at least he understands how it got there...

Good luck! Interview at least one other florist in the area... knowledge is power ;)

Just wanted to pop in and say "hi" to everyone!

Meeting with my florist and picking flowers has been my favorite part so far. They are so knowledgeable and easy to work with and affordable! And they listen! And they didn't look at me like I was crazy when I used words like "local" "organic" and "sustainable agriculture" like all the other florists I talked to at the Wedding Expo. :dizzy:

DJ is still MIA :?:

Still need to settle on an officiant. DF is starting to balk at the idea of getting a total stranger, I'd also like to get someone we know (even if we get them "ordained" through the internet) but I really can't think of anyone we know who wouldn't be otherwise involved in the wedding party. It's a tough one. I'm ok with getting someone we don't personally know as long as we interview and select him/her carefully, but I think DF is not so sure what he wants in that department.

We RSVP'ed to go to catering tasting at our reception venue. I requested a couple of their veg entrees and apps to try, they sound pretty awesome. :)

I also found out something interesting when I went home for Thanksgiving, my family had actually presumed that we'd be having a vegetarian event! DF's primary argument for having meat at the reception is that most of our guests, including my family, will expect meat to be served. I was thinking he was probably right about that, but I guess my family has finally accepted and maybe even respects my vegetarianism (and it only took 14 years!). I plan to bring this up, might wear down his resistance ;)

Family can surprise you... I'm so glad yours was a pleasant surprise! A vegetarian dinner isn't as big a deal as it might have been even a few years ago. You'll get a chance to share your food and lifestyle with your guests and maybe even subtly encourage them to respect your eating choices just as you respect theirs.

As for what to say to people who ask if they are invited, I play the sheepish card (highly underrated and often forgotten) and quickly explain that the usual venue size restrictions and budget limitations apply THEN I admit the guest list has slipped from my control with the pressure to invite all the guests "suggested" my mom and future mother-in-law. Whenever possible, blame the wedding machine!

Where are all the brides?!?!

It snowed ALL DAY yesterday and I had run myself into the ground trying to finish my senior paper (28 pages :eek:), which I turned in at midnight on Thursday... So I baricaded myself in the apartment while DF went in to the office yesterday, cooked a pot of veggie soup and watched the Style channel, which had wedding programming on all day! It was absolutely sinful. They had a bunch of Top Tens and Wild Weddings and I just sat back thinking, "none of that will happen at my wedding!" ;) I'm thinking some drunk bridesmaids will be my curse... I picked them specifically, not only because I love them all like sisters, but because they are FUN and will make sure my day is fun, but it might not work in my favor, you know?

So, what do you think will be your wedding day curse? There's always stuff that happens- a drunk uncle, bickering family, bridezillas, horrid weather... have you guys thought about what you have just accepted might go wrong? I've always expected the weather to turn bad and I'm ok with that. It's just what happens in the Rocky Mountains at 4 p.m. every day during the summer (which, ironically, is the only time the venue allows ceremonies in the garden....)

We also met with the florist. They are a fun and energetic younger couple and we clicked immediately. It was funny to watch DF try pretend like he knew what peonies were. I left the meeting with a more clear picture of everything and I feel like it's really coming together.

What's new with you guys?

Just trying to catch all my bridesmaids and get all the dresses ordered. I set Dec. 3 as the deadline to get everything in and have two who are MIA. Good grief!

I also found a deal on real pearl necklaces and earrings for gifts to all the bridesmaids. I have a friend in China who was able to get me everything for less than $35/person. YAY!!!

Hi everyone. I must say that I am getting completely stalled and frustrated on my wedding planning. We decided on an October 12, 2008 date, and I thought we had the site all picked out, but that has gone astray. We were going to sign a reservation agreement with a winery and get on with the planning, but that has not yet happened. When I got the wedding agreement and read through it, I felt a little uneasy about some parts, so I called the winery several times to ask questions - every time I spoke with someone they gave me the answers I wanted to hear and made me feel a little bit better BUT at the same time, I was still uneasy about some things like their catering and florist choices - basically, when you sign a contract with them, you have to use their caterers, florists, etc, which I liked at first because I thought hey, I can get everything done through one company, but their contract was a little sketchy with no prices, and their website completely contradicted their agreement, even though the people I spoke to told me the complete opposite. I think the last straw for me was that I sent the contact to my father to look over, and he didn't like how vague it was, plus there were typos in the agreement and he didn't think that was very professional. I take my father's opinion very highly, and since he is paying for this wedding, I am holding his opinion even higher. Basically, my fiance and I didn't really look around for wedding sites because he knew of this winery from before we got engaged, and when we went I liked it enough to settle on it. But we decided last night that we are going to hold off on this winery for awhile and really look around because I am just feeling too uneasy about it. We found some places online that I am going to try and get info on today or tomorrow. I really was anxious to get a place reserved to make sure I get the October 12 date, but I would rather wait and really look then sign a contract with some place that I don't feel great about.

Other than that, I haven't started any other planning yet. I have been thinking about dresses but haven't tried anything on yet. This time of year is really busy so I'm going to start concentrating on planning once the new year rolls around.

Hope everyone has a great Monday!

I think you made a wise choice! We thought about having our reception at a brewery (the Milwaukee equivalent to a winery) but the site coordinator was a dingbat and the contract was simply bizarre. We found a great place for a great price and I've never looked back. I'm sure you will, too!

I applaud your choice to wait until after the new year... just a warning/tip from someone who got engaged last January... lots of couples get engaged over Christmas and start planning after the first of the year. You may want to have a few ideas in mind. All of the places I was considering (except the brewery) were willing to "hold" the date without any deposit and call me first if anyone else expressed interest in the date.

Happy Holidays, brides to be!

Cheers to holidays divided between the two families for the rest of our lives ;)

Hey gals -I lost you for a while - I didn't realize Shannon had started a new thread!

I wanted to share that my Shutterfly wedding photo book was a big hit as a gift for Mom, sister, brother and DH's brother - they all loved having a memento of the wedding in book form, as opposed to a photo album. I did the 8x8" book with photos on front and back cover. 20 pages for $30 - quite a deal if you ask me. They came out great! I highly recommend this for anyone who will have access to the digital files from their photos.

People are still complementing me on the wedding, which is a great feeling! I spent a lot of time paying attention to all of the small details and it's nice to know that it did not go unnoticed.
Cindy

I wanted to stop in...I went a way for a little while. SO's mom took a turn for the worse (her cancer just KEEPS spreading). We are getting married January 12th now. We figured that out December 8th. After we got the venue we found out that the spring bridal expo here in Austin is that weekend! After having a minor meltdown I was able to find vendors in a neighboring small town. It should turn out pretty well considering how quickly we have had to move. My dress is beautiful, its maybe not what I would have chosen if I had months to get something shipped but its beautiful non the less.
The worst thing so far was that our invitation lady yelled at me and made me cry! It was so unexpected that I didn't even know what to say or do...I left a message asking for them to order 150 invites instead of 125 and the next morning (a Tuesday) she called to check in and I asked her if she added the invited to the order and she just went OFF about how they are closed on Monday blah blah...and I "knew that" and it said it on their web site...and was just YELLING in the phone to where SO across the room could hear what she was saying. I guess she was on the defensive because she had not order our invitations yet and was being paid a rush fee to do so. Anyways, we ditched that company and lost $350 doing so but I don't even care at this point. I am so stressed out trying to plan a wedding in just over a month from start to finish with the holidays in the middle that I will deal with her after I survive our wedding!
Wow. ok, so anywho, I don't recommend trying to do what we are but we just couldn't keep planning for May knowing his mom might not be with us still.

I hope everyone else's planning is going much more smoothly!

atxgirl - OMG! I can't imagine how stressful that all must be. But I'm sure your wedding will be all the more meaningful knowing that your SO's mom will be able to participate in your happy day.

We had our Auf Ruf (follow the link if you have no idea what an Auf Ruf is, I sure didn't!) on Saturday down in FL. We aren't religious types, but his paternal grandfather was one of the founders of their Temple and it's been an important place for his family for three generations, so we went ahead with it since it means so much to them. Also, DF's Nanny is not well and won't be able to travel to the wedding so it was really nice to have her there for that.

Here's a couple of pix from our engagement session, they're just scans of the prints we got (our photographer doesn't give us access to the digital files :() but I thought they came out pretty well

http://bp3.blogger.com/_CqjgTdKIWnk/...s400/scan2.jpg

http://bp3.blogger.com/_CqjgTdKIWnk/...s400/scan1.jpg

We are going to start our hunt for an officiator in earnest in the new year, the clock is ticking! Also, we're on the hunt for a new DJ. :rolleyes: There's a wedding expo in town in a couple weeks, might hit that up in our search.

Cindy - That's so great that people are still complementing your wedding! It's always nice to get recognition for a job well done. :D

Hi everyone! Long time! So, I have to say that I am getting so much more excited about getting married now! It's been awhile since I've updated - the last time I was really frustrated because we were having trouble picking our wedding site. A lot has happened since then!

We picked our wedding site before Christmas - we picked a historic property in Northern Virginia - it is an old mill that was built in the 1800s. It of course isn't in use anymore as a mill but is used a lot for meetings and weddings. It's a stone building next to a nice stream with lots of land with trees and grass. It should be beautiful for an outside fall wedding in October. It is just right for our number of people, and it's only 15 minutes from our house which is great. I was so excited to sign the reservation agreement before Christmas to get at least one thing done.

I've also possibly picked out a photographer and cake maker. My cousin's sister in law is a professional photographer who works very very close to the wedding site, and who will be giving us a generous discount on photos. My mother also has a close friend who lives about 15 minutes from us who makes cakes. Things are slowly coming together.

And last, but not least . . . I BOUGHT MY WEDDING DRESS TODAY! I have been looking a lot online and have visited a couple of local stores but didn't try anything on. I made an appointment at a local bridal store today and went and tried some dresses on. I had absolutely no intentions of buying anything because it is still 10 months until the wedding and people told me shop around and I probably didn't need to buy anything until 4-5 months before the wedding, but I wanted to try some dresses on to get a feel for what I liked. I went in with some pictures of dresses from designers the store carried and talked to a consultant there for about 5 minutes to let her know what I liked and disliked, then we started pulling dresses to put on. I tried one dress on and LOVED IT! It was actually a little different from what I expected to like because it had some more beading on it and had a longer train than I thought I would like, but when I tried it on and got in front of the big mirror I LOVED IT! It has ribbon detail on it and I picked a deep red color for my dress, almost like wine red. I posted a couple of pictures of the dress at the end of the post. It was a little more than I planned to spend on my dress, but I couldn't resist I loved it so much. I tried on about 5 or 6 dresses but kept coming back to that dress. I am so excited!!!

Shananigans- Great pics! And the colors make it pop!

NoVa- That dress is just darling. I love those capped sleeves. So girly and timeless. Are you having that chocolate brown sash or another color? It's very dramatic (I like it!).

So, things are moving in the sense that they aren't. I'm kind of in that holding pattern. Haven't heard from the florist since our initial meeting (was planning on getting a quote early/mid this month), so I will have to touch base with them. We did actually figure out where the money is coming from, so that's a relief, to say the least! We also decided on a honeymoon. We are going to take it over Christmas/New Year's and we are heading to Australia/New Zealand/ Fiji! The plan is to spend most of it in Fiji (my dream vacation) and spend New Year's in Sydney or Auckland.

Also, I think we lost the best man. His wife is extremely emotionally unstable and with our last visit with them she REALLY pulled out the fangs (on me). The only thing we have figured is that she was the last one of "the group" to have a wedding and is struggling with that and some post partum issues as well, not to mention she's incredibly immature (almost childlike) and has terrible problems with women. So we're pretty sure she pulled him from the wedding (he is terrified of her and won't stand up- for anything). It's all really messy and awful. Also, one of my MOH's won't be there (I have two- they're sisters) due to the fact that she's in the Navy and will be somewhere in the Persian Gulf on a carrier. She feels awful, but there's nothing you can do so no use in making a fuss. I guess that's why I have two!

Also, I took my mom when she was here over Christmas to see my dress and she created nothing short of a scene. I know moms are supposed to be emotional over stuff, but she went a little overboard. She also decided that she would be more comfortable wearing a bridemaid's dress instead of a more matronly mother-of-the-bride dress. My mom, always a tart. Baby Boomers. Oy.

Are any of you ladies doing a "bikini boot camp" type thing? I know it's been mentioned before, but there's a club near my house that's offering one and I think I wanna do it. The wedding isn't until late summer, but it can't hurt. I need all the help I can get!

Atx- I know this is a stressful time and my heart goes out to you. Some compromises are just worth it, aren't they?

Shan- awesome pics!

Jen- Bikini Boot camp scares me. I'm going for a Brazillian wax instead ;)

NoVa- great dress!

BfL- I've been wondering about the albums- great to hear a positive review!

Our wedding is March 29, 2008, so the insanity is only a few short months away... it's going very well, though. We got our first wedding gifts last week- holy cow! Where I am going to put all this stuff?

I also tried on the Ann Taylor Elizabeth dress over the holidays. I fit into a size 8 (with a little alteration needed to fit the DD's) and, even though I was hoping to fit a size 6, it's time to bite the bullet! The dress looks awesome and I highly recommend it for anyone needing a dress at the last minute. It looks really plain until you tie the sash and then whoa, baby!

I also did my first trial run of my hairstyle. Just a simple chignon that is perfect. I may or may not wear a veil. Still deciding if that violates my pretty, pretty princess rule :)

I'm starting to get very excited about our honeymoon in Paris for the first two weeks in April. We've been talking about hopping over to Amsterdam or London for a few days, too. Put me on the plane already!

The next few weeks will be a flurry of marriage prep with the Church, invitations, showers, bridal teas... oh yeah, and another bachelor party (that lucky dog). Wish me luck!

Here's the dress!

http://www.anntaylor.com/catalog/out...owAll=Y#ATLtop

Beautiful dress Lafayette!

Ok, so can anyone recommend a good general book on how to plan a wedding? I'm looking for something that will help me figure out the little things that are normally done for weddings (like favors, traditions, etc.) I am basically planning my wedding by myself (Mom doesn't really want to help in any way) and I have never really thought about it in my life so now that I have to actually plan it, I'm a little lost. So far I have: a date, ceremony/reception site booked, dress bought, photographer, and possibly a cake maker. My 3 big categories that are left are florist, caterer, and event rental. I know there's a bunch of other little things other than those 3 categories, but those are the 3 I'm thinking about at the moment. I know there has to be books out there on planning a wedding, so if any of you have read any, I would love suggestions. Someone at work suggested I hire a wedding planner, but I REFUSE to do that. It is definitely good for some people, but it is not for me because 1) I don't want to pay someone to plan my wedding for me, and 2)it's just not me. So, any suggestions from you lovely ladies would be much appreciated.

Thanks!

Lafyette- Classic and beautiful come to mind in describing that dress. :lol: at brazillian wax... There are very few moments in my life where I have the nerve to get one.... Fiji here I come... :eek:

NoVa- You sound A LOT like me. I was actually stricken with a profound sense of loneliness. My family is untraditional and I just kind of felt like a fraud until I got a grip (not that that's you, but I relate to the "feeling kinda lost" part). I bought magezines like it was my job. the ones I've been impressed with are InStyle Weddings and Martha Stewart because they aren't just dress advertisements like Brides, etc... Martha Stewart (love her or hate her) addresses styles and colors and decor specifically. As far as vendor advice- theknot.com has message boards that are broken down into cities/states and there are TONS of referrals from real brides in the area you are getting married, which I thought was cool. Also, you said that you have your site picked out. They will be providing a day-of coordinator, no? Since i'm getting married in my hometown- a place I haven't lived in almost 8 years- I felt a little out of touch and she was more than happy to throw vendor names at me at different price levels, including officients, florists, photographers, etc... I haven't used all she has recommended, but it was a good place to start.

Also, I've mentioned this before, but I don't have any wedding planning guide books, per say, but The Conscious Bride by Sheryl Paul was really helpful in my "getting a grip" on things.

Kinda funny though, a friend of mine said that she has all this extra stuff she didn't use for her wedding like cake cutters, toasting glasses... those things hadn't even crossed my mind! I have a lot to learn, it seems.

NoVa - I vote for checking out theknot.com as well - there are tons of ideas from the girls on the message boards. I found the monthly one the most help - for my 9/29 wedding, I checked out the Sept. 2007 board. The gals are always talking about what needs to be done next, so it keeps you right on schedule.

Not sure if a book is going to tell you about the details you are lacking. I bought a great wedding planning binder from Wal-Mart (bridal aisle) which helped me to think of some details I hadn't thought of.

Here's some suggestions from me:

First, have you chosen a color scheme/theme? That will be key in coming up with the rest. Centerpieces are a big $$ item, yet don't have to be flowers - there are tons of ideas on the knot for less costly alternatives to flowers on the tables. Big jars filled with fruit, candles, cakes or pies, .... Your colors/time of year will also be key in determining you flower options for bouquets.

Once you know what colors/theme you are doing (you don't have to have a theme by the way - it can just make decorating easier if you are doing something seasonal), then here's what you'll need to think about (some are optional):

Cake design
Cake topper
Table centerpieces/decor
Cake table decor
Favors (suggestion - edible is best; many gals are now doing charitable donations instead of a favor)
Paper stuff - invitations and all, place cards, programs, menus,...
Reception details - bathroom baskets, photo CDs or upload cards, Wish jar and/or guest book, gift table card box.
Attendant gifts
Out of towner welcome bags
Ring pillows
toasting glasses
Cake knife/server set
Music - for both the ceremony and reception

That's all I can think of off the top of my head - funny how it was all so encompassing at the time, and now I have already forgotten some things!
Cindy

NoVa- my mom was really difficult from the outset and I found a way to make planning my wedding fun by coming to 3fc and engaging my friends at home, too. I tried on my wedding dress with my fiance and two friends and wouldn't have traded the awkward laughs for the world!

I haven't found a book I would recommend but any major bookstore will have tons. I honestly took notes from friends weddings and made my plans by envisioning the day with my fiance.

Good luck! It sounds like you're making good progress, even without a roadmap!

I've found that a traditional wedding, hokey as it may sound, is the easiest way to go.  Using that as our general plan and deviating where we prefered something else has served us well.

We picked our color based on the time of year and my mother's bridesmaids dresses- green for luck, Irish and March.
The maid of honor and best man will have our rings on their hands- no ringbearer to start crying or pillow to lose.
We bought toasting flutes at the hotel where we got engaged.  Our guest book will be a book of old pictures of Milwaukee (we're history buffs).  Our invitations, programs, menu cards and placecards will be matching.  We are using a wedding photo of us to create thank you cards through someplace like Shutterbug.
We engaged a florist for bouquets, centerpieces, etc.  I let her tell me what I needed and worked from her list to decide what I actually wanted.  FTD is a God send... I found arrangements in my price range for the centerpieces and worked a deal from there.  I discovered making my own meant either silk flowers or a very hectic day- money well spent.  To keep in the budget, I skipped the votive candles and little gifts for each guest.
We found a three-piece ensemble that was willing to be flexible for the reception music.  Also much cheaper than a DJ.
We hired a photographer who cracks both of us up.  Not being big on photos, we have her sending us the "standard" shots, which we will edit to get more candid photos of the evening.
We skipped the cake (bakers around here become evil at the mention of the word "wedding") in favor of an awesome dessert from the reception hall.  Cheaper and less to go wrong.
We skipped limos in favor of everyone having their own car at the end of the evening.  We hired valets at the recption site instead.  They will help ensure that drunks don't get their keys, too.

Martha Stewart does have her act together, much as I hate to admit it!

Oh! Another thing that REALLY helped me draw a picture in my mind was "talking it out" with my florist. I love love love her for that reason. By the end of our first conversation I had actual COLORS (a compeltely foreign concept to me- I'm now following a citrus-y color scheme in a garden theme as the ceremony will be in a garden courtyard). I have talked to a few vendors and if I couldn't get a picture of how they would work at my wedding, I didn't go with them. Mojo is very important to me ;)

Some neat ideas we have arrived at:
-He proposed in the very courtyard where we are getting married. We will have the same white table set up as an "homage".
-We may actually have the Navy hymn played in honor of our serving maid of honor
-Ross is getting me a dixieland-type band to play the cocktail hour, which is perfect because I'm a frontier/pioneer history buff and the hotel is a historical landmark (the teddy bear was actually "invented" there during one of Teddy Roosevelt's many bear-hunting trips there)
-Our favors will be little jars of local honey (and that's ALL!)
-No wedding cake, but strawberry (another local theme) and lemon tarts made by my baker friend. BIG $$$ saver. We're not big on cakes anyway.

Lafayette- those are some great ideas!

It seems the more I plan and engage people, the more at ease I am. I do not care about perfection, I just want to get there already (8 looooong months that seem to be racing by).

I lucked out big time on BM dresses. My other MOH lives in boston and a good friend of hers out there actually works for Priscilla's of Boston (they make gorgeous bridesmaid dresses that I thought were completely out of price range). Well, as luck would have it, the moh is working with her friend to get everything ordered through the flagship store which would include the employee discount. I was just going to go through J. Crew, but this may be too good to pass up!

Hello new Bride to be joining in. A little frazzed today originally we had decided on April 5th but last week i thought hmm thats 3 months away and i havent done anything much less loose the weight. So we moved it to June found a venue, we have a friend thats in a band and they will play for free so we checked on there avaliabilty so far not so good :( 2 weekends are booked hes checking on the 21st but if that too is booked i'm in a panic here. WE are paying for most of the wedding our selves and dont want to start off in debt so alot of the fairytale things we'd like we are passing on but a band wow the one thing we can afford and I really want we can have except now they are booked so please everyone keep me in ur thoughts they pull thru and have an opening for my last option for June. ok panic story over lol

Hello ladies! Sounds like all is well more or less in wedding land. ;)

I got The Knot: A Guide to Weddings in the Real World and found it actually has been a really good resource on practical stuff, especially vendors.

I finally found someone to make me a vegan cake. Jeeze, you'd think I was asking to get a cake made out of unicorn farts or something the reaction I got out of most of the bakeries I called. :rolleyes: The local Whole Foods orders theirs from Chicago Diner and it sounds like we'll be able to work something out. The cakes on their site look great! http://veggiediner.com/cakes.html I might get a couple cheesecakes to supplement the dessert table as well. :drool:

Still need to get our act together on calling potential DJs and officiants.

My mom is making the chupah for the ceremony, we've decided on a cream colored under side and the celadon green color for the top and blue ribbons to tie it to the polls. We're going to get some fabric paints and have everyone decorate it during the rehearsal dinner.
:)

Skinnybride- Welcome! Since you're still flexible on the date, you may want to consider a month other than June. It's the most popular month for weddings, followed by September. Things can be more expensive or downright scarce during the "high seasons." Are you talking this year?

Shan- Good luck with the cake! I'm working on a vegan entree and dessert and I may have to go with unicorn farts, especially if you can't find something vegan in Madison! The chupah sounds gorgous!

I got my shoes and sash today. Still waiting on the dress but you know I'll keep you posted! It's getting closer!

OK! I have been MIA for awhile, but life had taken a turn for the worst around Christmas time -- my business slowed to a halt, my fiance has been looking for a job since October and still hasn't found one, and it was just a mess! But I just accepted a job offer on Friday (to start working Wednesday probably, and making pretty decent money), and my mom sent me some money to use for the wedding. SO... we decided to go a little informal (and more affordable) by getting suits instead of tuxes for the groom and groomsmen. My dad has a bunch of suits so he'll just pick one to wear.

I went dress shopping today and picked out my dress and the bridesmaid dresses. I like the dress I picked out, and fortunately I don't need any alterations. But I will say I did like some of the other dresses I tried on better, there was just no way I could afford them. I didn't think I was going to be able to get the one I did either, but it was marked down even more than what was on the tag, so I ended up paying only $250 for it, plus taxes and the garment bag, it came to $278. I budgeted $150 for the dress coz I thought I would just buy one of the Lane Bryant ones, but I decided that was more hassle than what it was worth -- having to send the dresses back and forth and then what if I didn't like the way it looked? I also bought a little jacket to wear with it after the ceremony, and tomorrow I'm going to Lane Bryant to pick up my undergarments.

There is just soooo much to do. I'm working at least something to do with the wedding every day of the week. I'm saving some good money by trading services with a printer and a photographer -- which is a HUGE lifesaver. I also have some more family and friends that are going to help me out so I'm just very thankful right now for everything. I'm not worried too much about spending a little more for my dress, because I did get this job, it kinda takes the pressure off while John is still looking.

Anyway, here are some photos! I'll start with the dress I bought. I did like some of the more expensive dresses better, but ah well. I think the dress I did go with actually looks better in person, it's just hard to get a good photo with all of those mirrors, lighting, plus the camera was looking up at me, etc. I've lost about 34.5lbs so far, which is a good amount but I have been a little naughty over the past month and made no progress. I didn't really gain anything that didn't easily come right off, but I haven't lost anything either. I think this dress shopping has motivated me to lose another 5 to 10lbs before the wedding. I have 2 months, so I think it's a fairly obtainable goal. The dress fits fine as it is, but I think another 5 to 10 lbs gone would make it fit even better.