We picked the date based on the availability of the ceremony site and the general timeframe we already had in mind. The site is only available every other weekend, so 2 weeks earlier and you risk it being too cold, and 2 weeks later lands you on June 8, and for some reason Jason has it in his head that he does not want the wedding in June. It is statistically the month with more rain, but trying to pick a day it will not rain over a year in advance is always a gamble anyway I say. Also, with the ceremony being on a Sunday, having the following Monday be a holiday will likely be more convenient for lots of folks since almost everyone is coming from out of town. I may check the availability of the Union for June 8 anyway, if it’s available I’ll see if df can’t be swayed. If that means a bit fewer out-of-towners I don’t really mind so much.

Thanks for the warm welcome....yes 3 months is going to go very fast. We are actually approaching the day that we got engaged, April 14th, her birthday. We began wanting something as simple as possible, but we have very active social lives and pretty good sized famlies, so we are now inviting over 350...yes, a little more than what we originally thought. Oh well, it should be fun. We've worked very hard to save a lot of money and are very excited.

In terms of planning....I would say I am fairly involved. I am good at getting things done that don't involve the style of the wedding. For instance, she has been riding solo making the invites, but I've booked the photographer, arranged the meetings with our pastor, contacted the wedding coordinator at the church, the pastor and am doing some of the daily phone call things that she can't do as a teacher.

Last night we sat down and figured out our vows and our exchanging of the rings routine, and started to nail down some of the music for the ceremony. It's starting to come together....

But I can sense what your man is saying, but "Sure" and "sounds good" "I don't care.." because it reality for the guy, our biggest decision has already been made. We are usually the ones that determine if and when we become engaged and once that decision is made, the planning of the wedding can kind of be hard for those of us who really, truly don't care whether the colors are blue or green. ya know? I just rambled a lot. sorry.

ballznpucks – No need to apologize for rambling, that’s what these here forums are for.

Update: the Union is available on June 8, but that is also the weekend of Madison Jazz Fest. The festivities don’t start until 5 and we plan on having an early ceremony (1pm), so we could feasibly have most of the reception stuff wrapped up by then (dinner and toasts, cake cutting, etc.) If we want to go the traditional route with a DJ and dancing for the remainder of the night, that might be a problem as the live Jazz music on the terrace would likely compete with the DJ music, I am not looking for a cacophony of noise at my reception! Ah well, I’ve pitched the idea over to df, we’ll see what he says.

Regarding men and weddings...
I basically did all the planning for our wedding. I would present ideas to DH and ask his opinion about it but it wasn't like he would say something "what about this?". He did end up picking the season as he said he said he wanted a short engagement. We didn't really have colors other than my dress was basically a light yellow so his tux had a yellow vest and the flowers were "bright fall colors".

The funny thing was that on the day before the wedding, DH was the one that had a bridezilla moment. I was the one stressing about everything working out and hoping that something wouldn't go wrong but he was the one with the bridezilla moment. It was kind of amusing

My guy wanted a short engagement. He asked me on NYE and wanted to get married this summer! Yikes! Honestly, it's OK, but on the other hand, his first thought was Vegas and I thought to myself "I'm overweight, we'll be travelling to the States WITH the kids, it'll be hotter than the sun itself in Vegas in July... I don't think so"

Then we started throwing out ideas to each other, when I started researching more European destinations... then we decided that early fall would be best - off season AND still warm enough to do a beach ceremony in greece or croatia!

Velveteen - Mine was shorter than that, he asked me in early summer and wanted to get married in the fall. In 4 months though we were able to do all the wedding planning and I was able to lose 30 lbs.

I went to Greece a few years ago in the fall and it was very nice. I want to go back but there are so many other places to visit.

Jeez I miss out on a lot of chatter pretty quickly!

Leo and I decided to register for a honeymoon... both of us are coming from student financial situations (that is, we are both next to broke) and therefore have no money to spend on a honeymoon right now. We were going to settle for postponing it until our 1 year anniversary, but then I decided hey, we only get one shot at this. (In theory,) you only get one chance at a honeymoon! So we changed our priorities and set up a honeymoon registry, which I think is a really neat idea. (We used thehoneymoon.com if anyone wants to see the site.) We've already been bought a night's stay and a dinner Now for that hot air balloon ride....

I think I've found an officiant, finally. After exhausting the THREE options we had local to our wedding, we found someone here in Charlottesville who is willing to travel up to the wedding site. Thank goodness. Leo wasn't keen on having a friend ordained, he's very particular about things being "above board" and no amount of convincing could make him believe that ordaining a friend was 100% legit. Ah well. Don't know who we would have picked, anyway. But this woman is incredibly nice, friendly, flexible, and supportive. Which are all good qualities in an officiant! So hurray for that!

Flowers are being a HUGE pain in the butt. One of the co-owners of our wedding site owns a floral business in DC, and we were told we had to use them if we were going to use a florist. So I try calling them.... they say that perhaps they are not doing things like that anymore, that I ought to talk to the manager of the site... I call him, and I call him, and I email him, and no response. I can't seem to get an answer as to whether we have to go through these people in DC or not anymore. I'd rather not, as getting the flowers from 2+hours away is kind of a pain.... but I would if I had to. I just need to know, the clock is ticking!! Less than 3 months to go!!



twistedhoneydew: You DO have a little more wiggle-room before you have to order your dress. If you wait much longer you'll have to pay a bit more for a rush order, but do know that you don't have to have exactly six months before your wedding in order to make things work. I agree with mandalinn though, you should get your dress at your current size and then take the little thrills that come with having to get a garment taken in!!

mandalinn: I have been trying to navigate the Knot but am finding it difficult for some reason. My sister gave me a book by the Knot people (something something Guide to Weddings) that she used when she planned hers, which has been helpful on regular etiquette and things I'm expected to do that I didn't know I was expected to do!
I hope we get to see wedding photos. I'd love to see the arch your father is building, I can just imagine how beautiful it must be. What a special contribution to your wedding!

ballznpucks: wow, you are pretty darn involved! I nearly had a heart attack when my fiance decided to try to help me find an officiant the other day since I told him I had been having issues. Otherwise it's been all me. I haven't minded much, and he does have an excuse since he's in a different country right now I'm going to have to go back through the thread -- when is your wedding date? I'm feeling ya on the 3 months flying by... I'm three months away and I'm wondering where all the time I need is going to come from.

shananigans: a 1pm ceremony and you expect to be out before 5? That's pretty quick! Then again, my schedule's not that much different. it just sounds quick You can always have another venue that you move the party to for the evening/dancing bit if you care to include that without the cacophonous intrusion of a jazz festival. We are having a noon ceremony (hopefully about 20 mins) followed by 1hr photos/hors-douvres followed by a late lunch, then there is a three hour break when everyone (including me!) gets to change and we're going to meet at an irish restaurant/pub for snacks and drinks and whatever ends up happening for the rest of the night.


Loooong post.. but that's what i get for staying away from this thread!

Trust me as involved as I am, she is doing much more. But I do try to take care of some things that I am able to.

July 14th is the date.

Ok, so a dilemma I came across last night was finding some good readings from the Bible for the ceremony. I don't mean to offend, but there is not a lot of good things said in the Bible about a man's relationship with a woman that translate in today's world. I want to find some verses that won't be read at all 10 weddings I am going to from now to October, but after spending a few hours last night, I am not sure there are a ton out there.

I actually could't believe some of the things I read last night as suggested readings. Let's just say, since those times, women's role in the church, family and in society have come a long way. I guess I just imagined more to choose from, since the number one thing in my faith is love and caring for other people.

I may have found one or two worth using, but I may mix in a poem that better fits our love and feelings for each other as well.

Bla bla.....your thoughts?

Well, my df seems dead set on the May date, so I guess I will bend since I was the one who absolutely said no to one of the ceremony sites he was interested in and went with the one I preferred. I guess we are practicing for a lifetime of compromising. Now that I’m thinking about it the reception is really more about having fun with everyone, the location isn’t as important as a lot of other things. So we’ll keep looking into the Monona Terrace and maybe a hotel or two downtown.

ballznpucks – I think your idea of mixing in a poem or maybe some prose that better fits you is a great idea. I remember at my sister’s wedding they had a Biblical reading (don’t remember which one) that seemed a bit odd and out of place in the scope of modern notions of relationships and marriage, so I see where you might be having difficulty. We’re having a civil ceremony so we won’t have any readings that are specifically religious in nature, but I think we’ll try to incorporate some readings and traditions that reflect both of our family backgrounds.

Jason has been plenty involved since day one, in fact I was the one who suggested Vegas (only half joking ). I know our wedding will be special and I’ll love it, but dang weddings are a lot of work!

ok, so ladies, make someone else wash the dishes the weeks before your wedding!

I slashed my finger open on my chef's knife last night - an ER visit, 5 stitches, and one giant bandage later, here i am. Not only does it hurt, but hello, i have a giant freaking hole in my finger.

The stitches will supposedly be able to come out 4 days (yes, just 4 days) before the wedding.

Oh, and forecasts are now leaning toward rain :-)

mandalinn, I'm so sorry about your finger! At least the stitches can come out before the wedding, and at least it wasn't worse! And I am sorry, but I did chuckle a bit reading your post--not a funny situation, but just how expressive you are

Oh and as for the weather, our forecast for tomorrow will probably change by tonight--you really never know, so don't let it get you down. Nothing you can do about it anyway!

I think lots of brides would have freaked out, but I am the world's biggest klutz, and we were actually taking bets on what i would do to injure myself beforehand. Sarah was saying it'd be crutches, so unless i manage to do something else, this is better. And we do have a rain plan in place...even if its not ideal, the day will go on and the ceremony will be on the dance floor, not on the patio...luckily, my dad is building the arch to go either place and I WILL set it up inside, no matter how silly it looks.

It was just so ridiculous that one has to freak out or laugh. I'm trying the laughing.

I guess the bright side would be that it didn't happen while you were in your white dress.

Mandalinn - sorry to hear about your injury, but Ballz is right - better now than then!

I'm pretty excited - we are going to look at wedding bands tomorrow. The jeweler that I worked with on my e-ring is in the process of moving, so instead of working with her, we get to go to the actual showroom of the ring designer to see what they have that might go with my e-ring. Of course, it's just a happy coincidence that they are located in NY and only 2 hours from me! Otherwise we'd be doing this by mail, which is what we did before. DF is hoping to find something in their mens collection as well. Wish us luck! I'm really going to try to stick with something they have ready made, and not go down the path of having something custom made - we really don't need to spend that extra money!

Finally did something about a dress - I found something I loved on eBay, and I won the auction! It should be here late next week as she needed to have it cleaned. The key thing was that it had sleeves! They are lace and see-through, but that's ok, it's still sleeves, and not those "tack-on" ones that David's has for their dresses - I just didn't like how that looked. This dress is from David's as well - I'm hoping it will fit, or be close, as I've not tried anything on yet. Don't know what my deal with that is, but just not something I've wanted to subject myself to. This dress should be my size or just a size small, so it should work out well. It's white, and I'd been looking at ivory, but I'm willing to make that compromise.

I'll send a photo once I get it.

I was thinking yesterday - I've done nothing about music at the church, and I've got just shy of 6 months left. Am I behind schedule on that?
Cindy