Most of my life I've been overweight (as has most of my family), and in high school/college I was anorexic/bulimic. My highest weight was 270, and I hated myself most of the time. I lost about 20 pounds when I first moved to New York City just from all the walking around, but I always knew I needed to make some real changes.

About two and a half months ago, my husband and I joined a nearby gym, and I have gone 6 days a week without fail, doing at least 30 minutes of cardio each day and weight training on alternate days (which I LOVE).

Well, I've lost my first 12 pounds, which I know isn't much compared to others on here (!), but it feels really great, because I've done it *healthily*, through exercise and by making mostly small, gradual changes in my eating habits. When I started, I tried to adjust my expectations, not to focus on losing weight (which I've obsessed about in the past), but on getting fit and being more healthy. I can't emphasize enough how much better I'm feeling -- less depressed, more energetic, STRONG.

One question I have for others on here, however. When you started this process, did you go through some rough times emotionally? Although I am feeling exponentially better physicially and less depressed overall, it's been harder emotionally than I imagined, I suppose because I'm just realizing just how much work I have left to do after years of denial. I feel like I've unearthed a lot of the old pain, and I can feel myself slowly getting more obsessed and impatient.

Any advice anyone has on this would be greatly appreciated. I'm trying to be patient and not rush myself (after all, decades of a sedentary lifestyle can't be undone in 2 months!), but it is hard.

Thanks in advance for your help!

Hey hun,
Congratulations on your first 12!!! That is a great first step
I know what it's like to suffer the eating disorders aswell, I have been through anorexia myself, People assume you have to look like a stick to have or be suffering anorexia and it's very shameful to admit when you're a larger size cause you feel like you've failed at even the desperate attempts!!
It's great you're going to the gym. I still haven't got the courage to step out to one of them yet and still work from home. But I'll get there one day!
I think your emotional challenges are normal. I mean you're changing your life for the better but still, such a dramatic change has to have some unstability somewhere. You are giving up alot of your past, and thats a big step sweetie.
But hang in there! you're doing GREAT!

Hi Teapot and jiggles. Tea, I think emmotial stress and such is normal when you start a weight loss plan. Me, I know sometimes I can't even look at the jeans I could wear last January without thinking "You'll never get there again, might as well give up." When I was in highschool I went through a tough time with eat disorders and Jiggles hit it on the head. A lot of people think you have to look like one of the Olsen Twins to be anorexic or Bulemic. When I would gain weight I would feel like I even failed at not eating all together. It was rough.
Now, I think the toughest part is not seeing immediate results. It makes me feel like "Well, I look the same when I eat 1200 calories than when I eat 2100 so why bother?" but I try and tell myself that it took a while to get up to 190 and it will take me a while to get back to 130. It doesn't always work but I'm trying. I think I am more angry at myself at not sticking to a diet 3, 4, or 6 months ago so NOW I'd be closer to my goal. I think starting is always the hardest part.
Its great you can get yourself to a gym so often! I hope you reach your goals and everything.
-Usagi

Thank you both for your encouragement. I really am feeling great, and I'm excited about the changes I'm making. I was just having kind of a rough day yesterday!

Thanks again!