I need help from those who have "been there, done that". Before you lost weight, any weight, did you start your journey with the attitude "I am going to do this" or were there some doubts? Did you fall off the wagon many times or not at all? How hard was it for you to keep the momentum going till you saw physical results?

I guess you can call me a weak person. I don't understand. No matter how motivated I am, no matter if I have every good and logical reason under the sun, nothing can stop me from giving in to the evil temptation monster in my head and eat and eat and eat. What kind of obsticals did you have to hurdle, and did? Did anyone else here have those monsters too?

I'm only curious because it's been nearly 10 years now and I'm not even close to goal. All my weight does is go up and up. It's to the point where the harder I try, the harder I fall. Should some people just give up? Is it just too impossible for some, and the lucky just prevail? What do I have to do to be a lucky one? How do I kill that ugly monster once and for all and be the person I want so desperatly to be? I just don't get it. I want it so badly, yet I always give in to temptation. Why do I let myself be sabatoged by me?

Thanks for reading,

Heidi
158/161/135ish

Hi Heidi,
It sounds like you really, really want to do this! Therefore, YOU can. Don't let the "monster" get the best of you. Once you start losing and seeing results it gets easier and feels great. It's easier to stay motivated then too. When the "monster" speaks, drink water instead. Try eating 6 small meals rather than 3 larger ones. I'm sure you've heard it all. DON'T give up! Good Luck!!

When there is a WILL, there IS a way!

Kathy
183/148/135

Heidi, I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I'm so motivated, thinking "I can do it!" ... and then, probably because it takes SO LONG, I start feeling that I'll NEVER get to where I need to be. Lately I've been going to exercise classes because I find them more motivating than doing it on my own, and I'm always the fattest person there, and I'll have trouble doing something or I start feeling so out of shape, and while I try not compare myself to anyone else, I start thinking I'll NEVER feel stronger, those rolls of fat will always be there on my arms and I'll never be able to see the muscles underneath.

I guess the best I can do is to remember that the only thing I can do is keep going. If I do nothing, of course I'll remain just as fat and out of shape as I am now. I recall once, years ago, when I was on one of those liquid diet things (ugh!) and I was sitting on my bed reading or something and I suddently noticed how thin my thigh looked. And another time (maybe the same diet?) when I suddenly noticed how I could cross my legs without my foot sticking way out to the side ... Both times, an exhilarating moment. Right now I keep wondering when these moments might come again for me. Yesterday I dropped by my office (I work from home and only go in during business hours once in a while) and ran into a woman I hadn't seen for maybe a month and a half -- she brightened up and said "Wow, you've lost weight!!!" I was hugely surprised, because really I've only lost about ten pounds, but I haven't measured and maybe my workouts have been doing some good.

I'm sorry to go on and on ... you've brought up an interesting point for me and I thank you ... I think I'm going to start a related thread ...
Pen

Heidi, I've been struggling with my weight now for about 35 years. I've been at goal more than once but always put the weight back on. Because of the number of times I've tried, and failed, I'm at the point where I feel a lot of doubt before I begin because I know darn well there's a good chance I'll give up. At 275 lbs, though, my weight is now so high, though, that it's beginning to have negative effects on my health -- back pain, knee pain if I stand for very long -- and so I am impelled to keep trying.

I've been reading "Life Strategies" by Dr. Phil McGraw and he talks about the hidden payoffs we receive for negative behavior. Smoking, for example ... we all know someone who swears up and down that they WANT to stop smoking ... they even try to stop ... maybe they DO stop ... for a while ... then then start up again. What hidden payoffs are they receiving?

The last 5 years or so I've been using Weight Watchers and, frankly, it hasn't been working well for me. I'll stick with it for a month or two, then the cravings become overwhelming and I'll start giving in and before I know it, I'm buying food just to binge on. A couple of weeks ago I started asking myself, when was the last time I *was* successful at losing weight? When was I the most successful at maintaining my weight? I was reluctant to look at the answer because it's way, way back in my past when I was following a much more restrictive eating plan: NO bread. NO pasta. NO rice. NO sugar. *Reasonable* amts. of protein ... none of this "half a lb. of bacon and 6 eggs for breakfast" that I've also done in the past.

So I'm about to try something I've never tried before ... restricting my carb intake, PLUS nutritional supplements and exercise. Since I now live alone, and no longer enjoy cooking much, I'll be having two low-carb shakes a day, and a reasonable-sized, low carb meal once a day. Small amts. of protein twice a day as a "snack" to help my blood sugar remain steady. And I'm continuing to mull over the question, what hidden payoffs have I been receiving by being fat? I do believe there must be some or I wouldn't keep doing something that causes me so much unhappiness ...
Donna

I think I started with the opposite attitude. After all of my failures and gains on low fat, when I started Atkins, I was like, "Yeah whatever, I guess I'll give this a shot for two weeks and then I'll go and get that Be fat and be happy book!". I was pretty cynical, but on the inside, I guess I was still hopeful that I wouldn't be 224 or higher for the rest of my life. I put my best into those two weeks and got below 200 for the first time in about 7 years! Then, I was all, "I'm gonna really do it this time!".

Anyway, I hope this helps.

Amber

I know where you are coming from all my life I have been on a diet my mom put me on every diet she could find. As it turned out I wasn't really over weight when she thought I was but it didn't take long. I tried Weight watchers 16 years ago and lost 70 lbs but after 2 more children I put it all back on plus some. In Feb I decided it was time to do something about this 271 lbs I was carrying around. Well I have now lost 56.4 lbs and feel great I still have along way to go and the journey is sometimes hard. I came to the realization this time that I was doing this for me and only me. My daughter comes with me and she has lost 30lbs and has had lots of struggles being only 19 yrs old. We keep looking for new recipes and different foods to keep our journey interesting. Everyone in the house eats what we eat most of the time of course in different quantities. It has been made a lifestyle and not a diet. Do we slip, yes on occassion.
I decided that my health was greatly being affected by years of being overwieght and I want to be able to attend my 3 children's weddings when they come about and I started to develope a fear that I may die from being overwieght, I also have a beautiful grandson that I want to enjoy. All I can say is stick with it and you will have wonderful rewards from it and remember you are not alone in this we have all been there. Best of luck to you and everyone.

Hey Heidi - it does sound like you are really excited about doing this, which is by far the biggest step! My success has been through the fact that I use little tricks to keep myself in check and motivated.

1 - I use Fitday.com to track my daily calories. It's a lot harder to eat a whole pie (or even a whole piece of pie) when you have to stare at how much it all adds up to.

2 - I keep a little sticky tab on my scale with my short-term goal weight on it. By focusing on this, it combines the efforts of my mind and body and helps me through weight platues.

3 - Oh, and the most important thing, don't deny yourself. You can have cookies and ice cream and cake. Just make sure you eat *1* serving, not 2 or 3. Eventually you'll learn to listen to yourself and only eat as much of a food as you need to be satisfied, whether it's one bite or a whole serving. It's very impowering, so if you slip and eat a tub of ice cream, whatever, tomorrow is a new day!

I hope you stick with it - I'm new here too and I'd love someone to talk to who's in my boat.

Good luck!!!!

Guinever

Size 12 now - Size 9/10 someday!

Heidi, I am finally successful after so many years and I found what works for me, maybe it would work for you. I use to fall of the wagon and that would be it, I would feel guilty and keep eating. Not anymore I do try to be strict but when I fall off, its ok the next day I get back on the horse forgive myself and realize that one day cannot make such a difference and I have found out after loosing around 70 pounds and keeping it off already a year and 4 months and still loosing that all it took was forgiving myself for being human and continuing after that with the healthiest lifestyle I know, and we all know what is good and bad for us by now. Learn how to forgive and go on it works!! believe me . Good Luck I know you can do it.

hi everybody,

i'm new to these boards so i'm still catching up on all the posts! i just wanted to say to guinever, i do exactly what you do!

i have found fitday.com an invaluable tool in helping me reach my weight loss goals. you are SO right in that it really helps keep you on track. when i see i'm already up to 1100 or 1200 calories, i definitely think twice about having that bowl of ice cream!

i also try not denying myself foods i enjoy and i am defintely learning the art of portion controls. i used to keep so much junk in the house and before i knew it, an entire bag of oreos would be gone within a few days. right now my main vice is healthy choice mint chip ice cream which at 1 serving is 110 calories and 2g fat. i have a small bowl every night and i look forward to that all day long. i know it sounds silly but knowing that ice cream is coming keeps me from snacking through out the day.

i also have a little sticky above my scale where i keep track of my past weigh-ins. i can see that 5 weeks ago i weighed 8 pounds more than i do today. it really helps me realize that what i'm doing IS working! it's very encouraging.

heidi, i think you can reach your goal. what i've done is stop thinking about it in terms of dieting and losing weight. i think about it as making a lifestyle change that will be with me forever. it's healthier to eat foods that are good for you. sure we all have our weaknesses. but i think it's like any addiction.. eventually you WILL overcome it. i love chocolate. i can't believe i've gone this long without a bag of m&ms! sometimes just seeing them at the store now is enough for me. i don't feel the need to eat them.

you just have to give yourself enough time to see what works for you. if you try something and you're still gaining weight, maybe take a second look at your plan and make some adjustments. increase your exercise or lower the amounts of a specific food or type of food you're eating. join a group such as WW if being around people is something that helps keep you on track. there are so many things you can try and soon you'll realize 3 months have gone by and so have 15 pounds!

lastly, try and make every day count. if you fall off the wagon one day, just get right back on track the next day. don't beat yourself up over it or call yourself a failure. we all make mistakes. but we also have the ability to learn from them.

good luck!!

Hello Heidi,

You've had some great advice here, I just wanted to add my experience for you. I have now lost 65 pounds with WeightWatchers, with a little bit still to go.

Ten years ago, I gave up smoking, and I did that the same way. I went without a cigarette for 1 hour, then I said to myself "If I can make one hour, then I can make two." Two hours became four, one day became seven.

When I started with WW, I had a low fat healthy breakfast (my first breakfast in about 35 years) and decided "That wasn't too bad, what can I do for lunch?" Again, one day became seven. When I lost four pounds in that first week, I said to myself "All I gotta do is do that again!"

I know that sounds very 'goody goody little me', but what I'm trying to say is that this is one of those rare cases in life where you must forget the big picture. Do not even think of how much you want to lose, in how long, or how the monster is sure to get you. Just take each hour, each day as it comes. If you can do better today than you did yesterday, then you're on the track, my friend. And if the monster gets you after 1 hour today, then make him hide for 2 hours tomorrow.

If you want it badly enough, then it will happen, I promise.