when we first started this together, we were both gung ho. Since a little slip over the holidays, I am right back on track but the BF doesn't seem to be taking it as seriously. I feel like just saying, "fine, screw you, I'll do it all by myself and watch you get fatter!" Maybe this is the PMS talking (might explain the tears streaming right now), but I feel like being very selfish and not even helping him out anymore. He can fix his own dang dinners.
But, it's not just about the weight. I want him to be healthier so he can stay around longer (so I can irritate him til the day we die) LOL Just wondering if anyone else got this frustrated with their partners too.
Lonely on the beach!
Well my husband eats anything I cook plus he is skinny, the bum! So I don't relate but honestly, I feel sympathy for your bf because I've started and ditched so many diets, I've been gung ho and then felt like UGH I can't do this. I can't deal with it. It would only make me feel worse if somebody got on my case about it!
I would stay true to your own program, lead by example, and try to love it -- when he is ready, he will re-join you but nobody ever really changes because somebody else wants them too -- and every dieter has false starts!
I know how frustrated you are. I've been there but I try not to let it bother me. I cook healthy OP dinners and deal with DH complaining because he doesn't want beans or chicken. If he doesn't want to eat what I cook, he can fix his own. Most of the time he eats what I fix. However his snacks are not what anyone could call healthy. He is doing better than before South Beach but not by much.
He is probably obese enough to be morbidly obese but he won't tell me what he weighs. He is somewhat diabetic but won't go to the doctor and I don't think his blood pressure is healthy either. Because of health habits like this, I would not hear of having more than one kid. I am confident that I can raise one child if he doesn't live as long as I'd like but I don't want to have to raise two. He had a friend who was very very obese (over 400 pounds) die about 4 years ago and that wasn't enough of a wake up call so I doubt if I can do much but prepare healthy meals.
You can only control what you put in your mouth. I have not let DH's attitude stop me from eating healthy. At least I hope that I have prolonged my life by getting myself healthy.
My DH was actually the one who decided to go on SB. I am so happy that he is doing it with me, I get no complaints about the cost or guyish 'you don't need to lose weight why are you dieting?' comments from him. I do still have issues though. We started this thing together and have to keep each other on track right? Well that is easier said than done. We both love each other so much, and want each other to be happy so the way it has been going is we start ph1day1, then he wants t cheat for dinner so me wanting him to be happy I do it too. Then next day we restart ph1day 1 then I want to cheat and he wants to make me happy so we cheat again. We have finally resolved to just not tell each other about our cravings at all.
thanks guys. I know I shouldn't get mad at him and I know I can't change what he doesn't want to do for himself-it's just frustrating. I will keep on doing it for myself and since he won't fix anything for himself, he'll just have to eat what I prepare of starve. LOL Maybe if I can get him eating at least 1 decent meal a day, that will count for something. Right? LOL Thanks again!
I'm with Barb. My DH started this with me in Jan 04, and he lost a lot of weight, actually was losing faster than me! Then he gradually started slipping back into his old habits and now is back where he started. I can't control what he puts into his body, but I try to keep unhealthy foods out of the house. I just make sure that I'm following a healthier life-style, regardless.
wantstowearabikini - I know...had the same problems. My df is a size 34x34 (skinny!!) Anyway - he would tell me that I didn't need to lose weight & that I was beautiful the way I am (what a sweet liar!) He would bring home ice cream, etc & then offer me a bite - ugh! So what finally worked for me was me looking him square in the eye & saying "I hate the way I look, I feel disgusting - you may find me attractive, but I don't. So if you want things to be better in the bedroom, you need to help me."
He hasn't brought home ice cream since.....& I've lost 7lbs (all that darn holiday weight!)
Nothing motivates a guy like the bedroom eh, soon2Bfab? LOL
I understand everything you're saying, bikini -- I'd say just tell your guy where you stand on this (you still want to maintain the lifestyle, etc) and ask for his support. We can't make people we love do stuff we want them to do and expect them to stick with it if they don't really want to do it.
About the only thing you can do is just do your own thang and leave him to his. Perhaps leading by example will win him over. If it does, fine. If it doesn't, that's fine too. (And you're just like me...it probably is a *touch* of PMS...but the underlying feelings with this whole thing is real, I suspect)
anyone else have this problem?
