Hello friends,
I'm hanging my head in shame this morning. Dh has been very unhappy with the plan. He feels totally deprived and I understand that, considering we've always eaten what we wanted, when we wanted. Somehow this all escalated into a big argument at my house (there were other issues involved, but this didn't help). I finally said fine, we'd go off the diet and just follow the general principles.
So, here's the upshot of the deal for yesterday....I ate a bite of a pop tart, spanikopita, gyros, popcorn and one reeses peanut butter cup. I feel like CRAP! This morning I feel like I had the worst drinking night of my life. I woke up in the middle of the night with the worst stomach pain I've had. I feel incredibly bloated and just awful.
He can modify all he wants, but I'm going back OP! I have no energy this morning. I weighed this morning and I haven't gained, although I certainly feel like I have.
Where do I go from here?
I would just do what you just said.... Go back on program and dh can do what he wants. If you know what it feels like to go off program and you don't like the way it makes you feel, then you won't be tempted when he is eating something that you don't want. Sunnybunny suggested to me the other day that she says that "she doesn't want to eat" something when someone offers her a cookie or something instead of "I can't eat that". Once that clicks, you won't be nearly as tempted.
However, with that said, I am going to be a very bad dieter today! My mom is making my traditional birthday dinner and I am going to eat it. It is planned cheating, though. I will splurge today, but that will mean back on phase 1 tomorrow.
Good luck! Plus, when your DH sees how much better you feel and how much weight you are losing, he will hopefully come back and join you on the beach!
I feel for you - I really do!!! Last week it was my daughter that was making me so stressed out, I found myself wanting junk food! You can pick yourself right back up and get on the wagon - and we're all here for you too.
When DH and I started the Michael Thurmond diet two years ago, it was me who went into it not feeling as if I could do it and not happy about the food. This time, I've had to be the stronger one for DH.
Men lose faster than women anyways and need more calories. If he is uncomfortable, encourage him to eat more. Also - (not SB recommended, but it works in our house!) find things he can have - that are THAT bad, that will make him feel more satisfied. My DH bought no sugar added cookies and cream ice cream. He can eat that and still lose. But mostly - he's got to work through the sugar withdrawals and that's probably what is making him grumpy!!! (That was me 2 years ago!!!)
You can do this, and you can do it yourself if you have to. Think about all those things you want that you posted. Make a poster - print it out and put it where you can see it.
What a bummer! I'm not the diet police in my household. I do purchase all the groceries and just buy beachy stuff. I don't talk about the plan one way or the other to DH He just eats what I prepare for him and when I go to the store, before I leave I ask him if there is anything he'd like. He rarely says he wants anything aside from maybe a favorite diet soda or an occasional beer purchase. Its kind of like he knows that we are obviously following some plan but he'd prefer not to hear about it one way or the other. He can just see the results we both are having and is happy with it. I've even asked him if he'd like me to buy some potatoes, etc. and he just says no thanks, too carby...lol..Anyway, my advice to you would be to continue to prepare beachy meals and ask him what 'side' he'd like so that if he wants to have something non beachy he will have what he likes but you'll continue the plan. I'm betting that as he watches you melt away he'll come around and start eating like you are. DH is now working out 1 to 2 hours a day since I do. LOL...I think I just look like I am having so much fun that he doesn't want to miss out hahahah...hey, whatever works!
Hugs for you! and get out and get some sunshine and fresh air today. It will do you good mentally and physically!
Butteryfly... I hope you do stay OP. We are here for you anytime! You have to do this for you and if DH wants to hit the boardwalk let him! (lol) When you are melting away eating good foods feeling like a million bucks I'm sure he will want to jump back in the sand! lol Have a great day and do it for you!
Oh, sweetie... big hugs... I know just how you feel.
Like the girls said, stick with it... this is all about you, hon. You can continue cooking for yourself... just add some carbs into DH's meals. Hang in there...
One of the biggest things here with The Beach is that you are supposed to eat until you feel satisfied. Don't ever let yourself feel deprived or you'll be setting yourself up for failure. You have to eat to lose weight. Maybe your hubby just isn't eating enough?
Thank you ladies! I knew I could count on your support. Dh just doesn't like feeling deprived. So, I think I'll continue to cook OP and just add a different side to his. He doesn't complain about the food, I think it's just the "restriction".
On to the next day....
I have done sooo many diet plans in my life and I always take something away from each of them that works well. Here's something that might work for the two of you. It's not SB and some people cannot do this, but it's worked for me and my DH (who loves to eat and not be deprived either ).
When I did Body for Life they recommended to take one day off~No Exercise and No food restrictions. On that one day a week (Thursday for us~most people chose Sunday, though) we could eat whatever we want.That was our day for eating dinner out (or cook something of his choice) and being able to order whatever we wanted and enjoy the meal without any guilt. Whatever we bought for snacks that day had to be only enough for that day, with no leftovers to tempt us in the morning. So all week you work hard at exercise and eating right, take one day off, and start over. It wasn't cheating because you planned for the free day . It actually was part of the diet plan.
At first, I would spend the week thinking about what I was going to eat (and it changed a million times) on that day, all day. After a few weeks it was no big deal and we limited it to only the dinner and a snack or dessert. This was especially helpful for my DH .
He was also instructed that if he felt he had to have something off-plan during the rest of the week, then he could stop somewhere (Ex. Taco Bell) and eat before coming home. Also if he bought cookies or something, they were to be kept out of the kitchen where I would not see them (he kept them in his office or hid them ).
This worked for me because I could stay on plan without being tempted to cheat and he didn't feel deprived (which enable him to be more supportive of my efforts).
Sil,
That's a great idea! I think I'll approach him with that and see what he thinks. I told him that I didn't care what he eats as long as he doesn't do it around me or tell me about it. Sounds like a win/win on that idea!
butterflykisses - Don't count yesterday as a cheat and don't feel guilty. Count it as a "learning experience." You learned that you feel like crap when you eat off program foods. Sometimes you just need to test that out.
BUT, today is a new day and OP you go.
When I diet, I diet alone in my home. Both of my boys and my husband are soooooo skinny that they eat what they want and don't need to be concerned about what they eat. When DS's girlfriens was living with us, she ate what she wanted, although she is quite overweight. Soooo, it was me who had the weight loss goal and the healthier eating goal. Here is how we handle it.
I buy SBD foods for the house and add a few dessert type things for the rest of the family. I make potatoes for them at every meal, but seldom eat them myself...I just pass the dish around when it is handed to me. When I serve dessert, I give everyone a choice...cake, pie, or jello (sf, I just don't adverise), or custard (ricotta creams). I just don't make it a big issue, but at the same time, the family is eating whole wheat, veggies, etc. and don't know that they are on a diet. Really, it is a healthy eating program for them, with a few indulgences that they insist on having. When they snack and I am feeling on the deprived side, I just get something OP to snack on.
Having said that, there are times that I do eat off program foods, but I make sure that they are not on a whim. If I know I am going out for dinner, I make a decision in advance to have a dessert, to have a couple of bites of DH's dessert, or to completely abstain, to eat gravy, or not, etc. The plan is what makes the detour guilt free.
It's not that easy, but the more you practice the behaviour of eating on SBD, the more you will realize that you are feeling great, and that you don't want too much of the off program foods.
Take care of yourself and try to prepare OP foods as much as possible for the rest of the family. If they do not want to follow SBD, you can still have them follow the basic eating plan, you just don't have the control over their excesses.
I buy SBD foods for the house and add a few dessert type things for the rest of the family. I make potatoes for them at every meal, but seldom eat them myself...I just pass the dish around when it is handed to me. When I serve dessert, I give everyone a choice...cake, pie, or jello (sf, I just don't adverise), or custard (ricotta creams). I just don't make it a big issue, but at the same time, the family is eating whole wheat, veggies, etc. and don't know that they are on a diet.
What Sweet Tooth said is so true. Once you've been doing this for awhile, if will be easier for you to fix off-plan things for the family at dinner and not have it yourself, as long as you plan for yourself. I used to crave that baked potato but now I can fix it for DH and it doesn't bother me.
I'm the new mayor of cheaterville.
Dh has been very unhappy with the plan. He feels totally deprived and I understand that, considering we've always eaten what we wanted, when we wanted. Somehow this all escalated into a big argument at my house (there were other issues involved, but this didn't help). I finally said fine, we'd go off the diet and just follow the general principles.
He just eats what I prepare for him and when I go to the store, before I leave I ask him if there is anything he'd like. He rarely says he wants anything aside from maybe a favorite diet soda or an occasional beer purchase. Its kind of like he knows that we are obviously following some plan but he'd prefer not to hear about it one way or the other. He can just see the results we both are having and is happy with it. I've even asked him if he'd like me to buy some potatoes, etc. and he just says no thanks, too carby...lol..Anyway, my advice to you would be to continue to prepare beachy meals and ask him what 'side' he'd like so that if he wants to have something non beachy he will have what he likes but you'll continue the plan. I'm betting that as he watches you melt away he'll come around and start eating like you are. DH is now working out 1 to 2 hours a day since I do. LOL...I think I just look like I am having so much fun that he doesn't want to miss out 
).
