This is at least the third time I've tried to do this diet. The first part of the day is a piece of cake (speaking of cake....) but by the time I get home from work at 5:30ish I'm famished and some gluttonous monster takes over and it usually doesn't stop 'til I doze off . I know the easy solution would be to just have a snack before leaving work but I get so busy I don't really have time or give it much thought. Or better yet if I could swing by the gym on my way home but I'm starving and all I want to do is go home and pig out! Please, please, please tell me some of the things you have done to improve your willpower......I'm beginning to think it would be much easier to change the way the world thinks and convince everyone I run into that "love handles" are all the rage.

Well, this may be your third try at SBD but it's your first post in this Forum so WELCOME to The Beach!
As the wise Jennie says in the daily chat: There is lots of info and support here. Be sure to check out the FAQ sub-forum and the Recipes.

Hi Scbb4991!

Maybe now is not the time to lose weight? That is ok! I thought this when I read your post as you are talking about wanting the world to accept you as you are (and why the heck not, I agree). So I wonder if you feel you are losing weight 'for them' ie the judgemental world........and you are cross with 'them' and so of course you are not going to stick to it! Why give them what they want?!

It is not the easiest of ways to look at it maybe. But you dont have to lose weight. You absolutely can look how you are, eat what you want, and have a right to be accepted and loved for the acceptable and loveable woman you are.

I have tried to bully myself in to so many diets over the years because I wanted to look 'acceptable' at some level, and it never worked, so I ended up pheeling fat AND weak willed. Blah. It is an unloving world in so many respects.

And Ruthie is right, this forum is helpful, mostly because it is not unloving, in fact it is the opposite. So here you can find some support from people who want you to get what you want and want you to lose weight if you want to do that, but more than that want you to be, as Ruth's thing says living 'days of grace and wonder'. Now that cant be bad.

So I have put a long reply on here and I hope it is not overly preachy for you. But you are raising one of the really tricky things for us all, or certainly for me, which is how to walk that tightrope between getting my own body and eating in order for me, on the one hand, and making my body fit someone elses idea of beauty on the other.

Love handles are beautiful. Curvey and soft and voluptuous.

Also bindweed is beautiful. It has pale green flat silky leaves, strong emerald green stems and the most incredible huge white trumpet shaped flowers all through the summer and it climbs and climbs. But I wont have it in the garden, because I want other things, like roses and geraniums and cabbages, and the bindweed swamps it all. So I pull it up, and dig it out, and sometimes hear myself saying 'I hate bindweed!' (There is a lot of it in my garden). But really it is ok. Just not in that garden, at this time. Same with my fat. I am weeding my fat (100lbs excess of it almost) out so that I can have other lovely bits on show. And people might say 'oh roses are nicer than bindweed' but they are not (just quite a lot harder to maintain....!!).

Phew. Philosophy on a Saturday morning. Hope it helps. And the snack before leaving work might also help if you decide to follow the plan. Nuts are easy to carry in your bag, and almonds are the simplest for me.

Lots of love

Woof! Clovey, you are amazing, girl! Thank you, from ME!

Scbb, welcome to the Beach! Like Ruth said, it can help to post in here regularly, so come and join us!
I see you live in New York. You're most likely cold and miserable right now. If you really want to do this at this time of year, make sure you're planning ahead with your food. And the exercise thing... can you try to get your workout done in the morning before work? It's an effort, but you'll feel good ALL DAY!!

You guys rule!!!! Thanks for all the inspiration and good luck to all of you for making this step to improve your health and to help others to try to improve theirs.

Well, I just can't say it any better than Clovey did! I swear, I think I'm going to print that out. Love it.

scbb- if you decide it is time to give the SBD another go, you'll find LOADS of info and support here.

My "starting point" tip, which I think has already been pointed out- planning. And don't get overwhelmed.
Maybe put all the tempting foods in the trash? I couldn't do that either, so instead it is all on a high shelf so I have to get out the step stool and really THINK about getting to it while I reach past all the good stuff I've stocked the cupboards with. And do stock them- there are tons of yummy things you can have, make sure they're handy.
Perhaps on a sunday, take the time to make some quiche cups and chili- this is what I've been doing, it will take you less than 2 hours start to clean-up to make enough b'fst and lunch/dinner for the week. That way you save time in the am (making time to exercise?), and then at night there is something there waiting for you so you don't get distracted. And eating some nuts on the commute home is a great idea! Maybe you weren't eating enough during the day before, perhaps a bit more at lunch? Remeber it is ok to eat a lot of veggies- they fill you up and are low in calories! Don't be hungry!!
On the exercise, don't bite off more than you can chew! I waited a few weeks, and I'm now adding some workout tapes that allow me to mix and match 10-20 minute blocks so I can just do a few minutes if that's all I have time for, or a full hour if I've got it.

And NO GUILT! Maybe you could just ease your way into things, just trying to reduce certain types of food in your diet for now? If you've got a lot going on in your life, give yourself a break, and do what you can.

Then bring your towel back on out to the Beach when you're ready!

i would agree to making snacks and some meals when you have free time. Otherwise we find other things, to eat. I have three different kinds of SBD snacks around at one time. So i still have choices that fit well with the plan!

Clovey,
Thank you. As I said in a different post, this morning I was in tears, so frustrated with myself for slipping up after 9 days OP. My weight is up 2 lbs this week and I've been eating tons of sugar for 3 days straight. But thanks to this board and your post above, I am determined to get back on track. I know I have support here. Scbb491 - you are not alone. I understand how you feel and agree with Lucky that planning is so important. I'm off to the store so I can stock up on phase 1 foods (again).

Anne

Wonderful words! I, myself, let phase 1 be my guide. I know that if I can just make it through 14 little days, I can have an apple. The better I do on Phase 1, the less time I have to do it!

My best will power comes from the competition my man and I have. He is the KING of not having willpower. We both set little rewards for ourselves: If he stays true for 4 weeks, he gets to go the winery he's been wanting to go to (red wine and cheese, ok!) and if I stay true for 4 weeks, he'll take me to our favorite fondue place (more red wine and cheese!!). I made a little chart for tick marks, so after dinner, we are brutally honest about what we ate in the day (I'm still working on him keeping a journal) and make our marks.

It's kinda cheesy, but it's worked on past eating plans, and it working on this one. Before, he would have had McDonald's and a dozen cookies by now, but he knows he can't go to the wine festival if he cheats!

About the lovehandles... they're called that for a reason! Pardon my lewdness, but it really is more cushion for the pushin!! Look at any classic art piece. You won't find some boney waif, you see women of substance!! Beautiful, big women! Rueben? Botacelli? They LOVED big women. Besides, it's not going to change today or tomorrow. You are the way you look today, and it's wonderful. Your body is but a vehicle. Some people have Mercedes, I have a beat up old van, but it gets me around, and I'm comfortable.

Do in your heart what you know to be true, for you will be criticized anyway.

Enough of my sermon...

I was watching an old movie the other night and my husband was commenting on how hot he thought the actress was. And she was a beautiful woman. But I couldn't help thinking to myself that today she would be considered a plus sized actress or model. I think the best thing to do is aim for health and not a certain size. Because you can be healthy at any size, and beautiful at any size - both are mainly a frame of mind.
Society has changed the way they look at women and what is acceptable and what is considered overweight or fat even since the 1960's. Women who were thought of as beautiful headliners then would be put in roles of "funny fat girl" today.