Little changes can mean alot~What I've learned,pls.add your thoughts too.
I've been thinking of writing down some things I've learned about myself lately,and decided to share & make it a sharing page. The first 2wks.of P1,for me was actually not as hard as I thought it was going to be,and I realize now it was because I had my head on straight, I was focused,and dug my heels in. There was no-way anything,or anyone was going to deter me from having a perfect two weeks. I stubbornly stuck to my guns even when DH bought home potato chips,cookies,and eeek ice cream even though he NEVER,EVER buys this stuff when I was not on a plan. I would be eating my crisp veggies for lunch,and he would be eating a grilled sandwich w/chips..and WOW,did I ever learn how strong I could be during those times. Many times I had to leave the room,But,and this I found very important...I was proud of myself..really proud of my strength during those moments,and believe me there were many. I resisted,and I showed myself,and him that I was in control over what I put in my mouth..no matter what. I've also learned that if this is the food I can have 'for now' then don't try and make it something that it's not..if I can not have dessert,don't try and fancy up something that is lousy substitute for the real thing..just eat what I can eat,and learn to like it,accept it,and move on. Life is not about food, I also tell myself 'Don't look for love in the frig'...Food is fuel,food is to take care of my body,and to use it for that and not entertainment,and/or a reason for living. If I find myself doing this,then it's my life I need to look at because food will not fix it. I found I was using food for so many reasons other than nourishment...especially if I was upset..or hurt, bored, lonely,needing entertainment,or whatever. I had to really talk myself out of some food choices when I realized how I was using food. I didn't want to sabtotage my efforts. I've learned that I must make a decision to WANT this change,daily,sometimes hourly,& not wishing for it,praying it'll happen all by itself,saying 'i'll try', instead using words in a positive way. 'I will do this',rather than 'I'll TRY to do this'..which always leave me with an escape. I need to be fully engaged,focused,make this a priority,and moving this goal to the top of the list..I have to pull my butt from the back of the line of people to help,and put me up in the front..because as I see it now, It's me who's incharge of taking better care of me,and not someone else's. I also learned that being self caring,is not the same as selfish as we know it,or have been taught. It's not only impotant,but vital to take care of myself as well as I take care of others that I love..and to not use that as an excuse..I'm too busy taking care of so&so.........to really have time to take care of me...that is baloney,and now I realize that too. Excuses,excuses,excuses. I either want it for for myself,and act accordingly or...I don't. The choice is mine. Big hugs,and thanks for all your caring & support.~Choices
I have learned... that I do much better on Phase I than on Phase II! Not just weight-loss wise, but cheating-wise. Somehow I'm less tempted to cheat on Phase I.
I've learned that I'm very, very good at not bringing junk into my house... but that once it's there, I'm terrible at resisting it!
I've learned that cookies are my #1 trigger food and I CAN NOT have them around. Period.
Choices, there's so much of me in your post! I'm a good one for making excuses, and I have to change that! You have given me the motivation I badly needed right now to get back on track. Thank you!
Hi there cottage..we're sister's! I'm sort of surprised that there are so many 'reads' to this post,and so few replys.We've all learned things that help us/motivate us/to keep on truckin on the right path. One other thing I thought of is VISIT THE SUCESS AREA MORE OFTEN! especially if I find myself thinking of foods I want,and know I should be staying away from at least for the time being. Today I put on a cute shirt that was almost new,but it hadn't fit after I washed it,so I put it in the donate bag...Today,I was going through the bag,and just for the heck of it tried on the blouse over the blouse I was wearing,and it fit!..I even have extra room...now that will keep me on the plan..that is better than anything (most anything) that I can buy to put in my mouth. Take care chickie's~Choices
Good for you! I think there is some of all of us in your thoughts.
I've learned something small that is translating into something big: I never needed the bread. Shocking to me. Now when I remove the bread from the sandwich and am totally full from the protein and veggies, I wonder why I ever ate all that bread in the first place, except "it was there".
I've also learned to try new things and for that I am grateful.
Choices, I'm right there with ya, Sister! (btw, I lived in Olympia for a year a long time ago!)
I just have not felt the urge to cheat at all (not strongly anyway!) I think I was at a point that I was so disgusted with myself by gaining 50 lbs over the last few years that my mind was determined NOT to let it go on till I developed major problems.
My Daddy died a year ago this week. He was overweight..started gaining weight in his 30's. He deveolped knee problems..3 replacements. Then diabetes, then conjestive heart failure and finally in the last few months of his life, kidney cancer. He was a brilliant, vibrant, funny person who loved to travel and sail and it was pure **** seeing him suffer so...bedridden for the last few years of his life.
He used to make me so mad...when I would visit my parents, he would "harp" on my weight gain, ie "You are getting FAT!" and he would harp on my sister too. (Mama weighs about 110lbs, so she didn't get harped on!) I would almost dread going to visit cause I knew I would get the "fat lecture". About a month before he died, he told me that he did not want me to go through all he had and I really had to lose weight an of course I knew he was right and promised him I would. It took a year of grieving and stuffing my face for comfort before one day I woke up and said, TODAY IS THE DAY!!! No more!! It had been exactly one year to the day since I made that promise and that's the day I started researching and decided SB was the way to go for me. I didn't want to do anything dangerous or go on some stupid "diet" where I would lose weight drinking stupid "weight loss drinks" and gaining twice as much back. I wanted something for life. I have not cheated ONCE since then.I feel so good and have so much energy that I don't want to put any poison in my body ever again.
Now, this may sound strange, but the night before I started SB, I woke up in the middle of the night and I smelled gardenias all over my bedroom. (There were no gardenias in the house) At first I thought I was dreaming then realized I was wide awake and the gardenia smell was strong. When my parents were dating right after WWII, my Daddy would always bring my Mama gardenias to put in her hair and because of that they always had gardenias planted around their house. I carried gardenias when I got married...they have always held a special place in our family. I honestly think that gardenia smell was Daddy reminding me to keep my promise.
I have been trying to get my sister to start SB, but so far she has resisted. I know she won't until her head is where mine was and all the harping in the world won't work. I just don't want to see my baby sister (who is heavier and shorter than me) to go down the same road as Daddy. She told me her nutritionist said it would not be good for her to "go without fruit" for 2 weeks. I want to take the nutritionist and ask her if 2 weeks without fruit is as big a sacrifice as getting diabetes and heart failure. I hope that the next time I see my sister (we don't live in the same state) that she will get motivated by seeing the results I'm getting and after I cook some really yummy stuff for her she'll see she will not be deprived at all!
Last edited by femmecreole; 05-30-2007 at 10:13 AM.
femmecreole, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom about 18 months ago, again, morbid obesity and resultant medical problems. I don't have the strength to go that way, so I'm gonna take the easy way out - lose weight and take better care of myself. My friend has a wonderful saying - "If I don't take care of my body, where will I live?" I want to live like that.
I too have morbidly obese sisters (3) and I've learned that them bugging me or me bugging them just doesn't work. Don't sell weight loss, just live it. Everyone will do it when and if they are ready.
The biggest lesson I've learned so far is that I don't need perfection to prove that I am a worthy and lovable human being. If my dad or anyone else has a problem with, it's their problem, not mine. I'm learning to forgive myself and move on. Major lesson for me. I've tripped over that so many times and then used it as an excuse to binge.
I've learned I don't need starches in my diet. I'd like them, but I don't need them. I know I will never be able to sit down and eat a bushel of pasta again. I've learned that I enjoy fresh, simple, clean food. I've learned that processed food doesn't even taste like food. I've learned to like me more. Okay, that's what I've got so far...
I have learned that on any given day my desire to be healthy is stronger than my desire to have any one food. My willpower is strong and I am able to maintain my focus on eating well even when others around me don't.
I have learned that health (or the threat of not being healthy) is the greatest motivator. I did not change my eating to lose wieght (when I knew I needed to), but I quickly changed my habits when faced with a health scare.
I have leaned that diet and excercise go hand in hand. Both are so essential - and while one may work without the other, they work best together.
I have also learned that I will cheat (on occasion) and to relish every bite of that food choice and to get back on plan ASAP.
Thank you all for contrubuting to this post..I just want to hug you all...and blessings to those who have lost their mom's and dad's too..I have been there as well,and it's tough at times...I know I eat for comfort too, but when it's really rough, I figure a one course meal of comfort food is better than many other things..as long as I keep it to a occasional thing. I never,ever binge..like eat until I'm sick,or finish off a gal.of ice cream..so when i get to the anniversary of the death of a very close love one, I make their favorite dish,and that is what I have for dinner..no matter what it is,then I freez any leftovers,and forgetaboutit. This is not how I stay on track,but it's how I manage to not go into food overload. I finially had my cheeseburger last week...and now I'm done for awhile. When I was in my 30's I lost 47lbs. and kept it off for 17yrs. within 6lbs. but 'life' got rough,and then menopause (watch out for that young ladies..)and then I quit smoking,and each time I packed on 17lbs...plus my metabolism went into a crawl..so no excuses, it's what i have now that's important to contend with..I'm not eating more, I'm eating the same,and that is the problem..that change has to take place in my head first before it'll work in my body. Tootles..and big hugs..Choices~
I'd like to thank everyone for posting. I'm just on Day 3 of Phase I, so I haven't got any pearls of wisdom to share yet. But I did enjoy reading everyone's posts.
I have learned:
- that I love chocolate dipped strawberries beyond reason. And two really is enough. YUM!
- that cooking is easier than I ever would have guessed. And I can make a wicked good salad.
- that grocery shopping can be a mental exersize when comparing carb counts, fiber, protein, etc.
- that saying things like "I feel bad b/c I ate (fill in the blank)" fills me w/too much guilt and shame about my body and I have spent far too much time in therapy to ever do that again. So I will not say that "I've been bad" if I stray off the path a little. I haven't been bad, I haven't been weak. I just ate the wrong thing.
What I continue to learn about myself is how much I've used food for so many other reasons other than hunger. Just when I think I have a grip on this,I catch myself 'doing it again'..I guess that's why they call it comfort food..SO,if it's confort I need,then like I mentioned before,why not try looking for it somewhere else,just NOT in the frig,in a restuarant,or at the mall (shopping)..Hello,choices,choose better for yourself girl..(she says to herself)My mantra for the month..Make better choices...Choices~
Wow - I have found so many "sisters of the struggle" here and I feel ya girls!! I have learned that:
1. Carbs/Sugars are an addiction for me, so I treat them like I'd treat an addiction - I focus on eating healthy today, right now, for this hour, minute, meal. I will only be ok if I forgive and forget any past "mistakes" because they don't matter anymore and I can't predict what tomorrow will bring, except that I know I'll be stronger if I eat right and exercise!
2. Paitence truly is a learned virtue. It's like being pregnant - if it took 9mons to gain the weight, it's not gonna be gone in 9 days!! So, I focus on not getting discouraged because it's not happening fast enough. Doing the right thing, for the right reasons, eventually gets you the right results!
3. The first step of any journey is the hardest. If I go ahead and start the 30 mins of exercise, I get it over with v/s sitting around dreading it and not enjoying t.v. anyway!!
4. Support is necessary and it won't always come from those around you because they know how to interact with you the way you are and are scared of not being able to have that same interaction if you lose the weight! That's why forums like this are GREAT!!
5. Most important, I learned that I have to believe that I am worthy of being a healthy person at a healthy weight. I have stopped hiding behind my weight because I have nothing to hide!! I am fabulous and I don't know if it is growing into a person that I love or what, but I finally believe it!! (I also remind myself of it many times a day, so that I don't forget)
While I could go on and on...I think that for this moment in my life, this is what is guiding me!
Thanks to you all for your wonderful encouragement!
Wow, there's really some deep, thoughtful and moving stuff posted here. Thanks, Choices, for getting the introspection started. It's so important for those of us who eat mindlessly to think about things and talk about our feelings.
I've learned, as I lose 30 lbs. for at least the 10th time in my life, that I can't ever let the days go by one after another, thinking "I don't care about this today", until they turn into months and year as I binge myself bigger and bigger.
I've learned that I am a carbohydrate addict and I don't ever want to feel that monstrous overwhelming craving again that I get before I've even swallowed the first bite.
I've learned that a fast food meal, jammed into my mouth as I drive home in the car, is neither healthy nor satisfying nor as necessary as I think it is when I turn (almost like a robot) into that drive-through.
I've learned that I too have to take it one day at a time and find a way to deal with life without overeating every time I get stressed out or lonely or tired or frustrated.
I've learned that it's so much better to wake up feeling energetic than with heartburn and regret over what I ate the night before.
I've learned that I can't do it alone, and that is why I need--and am so incredibly grateful for--all of you.
Thanks, chicks. You know, over the last 30 years I've weighed as much as 230 (before I quit looking at the scale but kept eating) and as little as 120. I've lost and regained various portions of that weight probably a dozen times. But I want to be done with it now. I'm tired of this stupid struggle, and I want the lessons learned to be lessons remembered. Finally. Always. And I'm just going to stay here until I get it right.
I've only been on SBD for 16 days, just started Phase II, and I'm learning so much every day, and still have lots more to learn. In the past two weeks I learned that I can live without sweets and that I can stay on a diet for that amount of time. I learned that salads can actually taste pretty good, and that lots of the veggies and things I was avoiding taste good too (I think my tastebuds were in hibernation). I learned that I can sit at a table with 7 other people enjoying hot fudge sundaes, and just have a cup of coffee and feel okay about that. I learned that my husband can be pretty supportive about SBD, but that some friends aren't. I learned that it's possible to lose five pounds (I wasn't sure) and that if I do it nineteen more times, I'll hit my goal. I learned that obsessing about the scale is not productive and that I should set some non-weight related goals. The first one is to be able to take my ring off! I also learned about a great place on the web called 3fatchicks.com where there are lots of nice people that are going through the same thing, or that have gone through it already.
Little changes can mean alot~What I've learned,pls.add your thoughts too.
