[Zapphire]

I didn't know I was a compulsive overeater until recently.I stopped posting a while ago because I just wanted to give up.I have the symptoms of compulsive overeating.It has been a rough year.I went through a very deep depression and got treatment (though it wasn't easy,especially with my mom,who is 100% against therapy and she's just really mean about it all).I'm better now,but I'm still somewhat depressed.There's the one thing nobody,not even my therapist seems to understand.I feel horrible about my appearance.I have horrible self esteem.I cannot begin to tell you the things I've thought due to this.I like what I see in the mirror some days..But most days I don't.I get extremely disappointed.The thoughts of people around me and the media don't seem to help much at all.Lol.I don't want to go outside,live my life,have fun,because I'm ashamed of how I look.Anyways,I need to share.I hope I can shake this eating disorder.I've tried to lose weight,but I kept failing.It is late,so I don't know what else to say!If you have any questions about me,I'll gladly answer.

It isn't just the weight I'm concerned about,it is that I'm scared of this eating disorder and bad thoughts and I'm just sick and tired of my food obsession!

[justjodi]

welcome zapphire- good for you getting treatment for your depression. i wish i had a magic answer for you about the food worries. we are all struggling here trying to find our way, and the path is different for all of us. have you told your therapist about your food issues?

good luck on your journey, we all look forward to getting to know you so keep coming in and posting!

[ellis]

Zapphire, welcome.
I'm so glad to hear you're getting therapy. I understand what you're going through with the therapist, though. I suffer from depression, too, but even when my medication is working, I'm STILL "depressed" about my inability to lose weight. And my therapist... while he's excellent in other respects... isn't overly concerned about my eating disorder. It's very frustrating not to be taken seriously.

Yes, please tell us a little more about yourself. Do you have much to lose? Do you exercise?
We're here to help.

[_knot]

Hi Zapphire

I too am battling depression. good for you about the treatment: I think that's the hardest step in all of this. it requires one to admit his problem.

a lot of what you've written sounds very familiar to me, and I think you'll find a lot of people here in CIC who share your struggles.

jump right in!

Meg

[Zapphire]

I have told my therapist,but he doesn't take me seriously enough.I mean, weight loss isn't necessarily my problem.I can go count calories and such and lose weight.But I think there's deeper issues.

I weigh 175 pounds and I am around 5'1 tall.I don't know how much I'm supposed to weigh though.I'd like to be maybe in the 120's but it seems so far away.I do excercise because I am taking PE classes in school (I'm a high school senior).I do have fun in that class.The thing is,once I'm out of highschool...Well,I have a really tough time wanting to excercise!Oh,well,I hope I figure something out...Weight loss or not,I do want to be able to do everything the other kids can.I do not take medication at the moment for my depression,but I used to.

I have not told my parents,because hey!They don't believe I have depression (I just want attention!),so I guess COE and binge eating are made up disorders.My family sees me as being a lazy glutton,and who knows what else they think!

Okay,that was my mini rant .Anyways,thanks for the welcomes,everyone!