[Sakai]

That's makes me sound like I'm a bit crazy. lol

But really, does this happen to everybody? You know, that little voice in your head that makes you feel good or bad. That voice that talks to you in the middle of the night so it's nearly impossible to fall asleep. It's like trying to sleep with the news on and the volume cranked up.

I don't know, but it seems like I'm attacking myself and setting myself up to be so upset and down. Every time some little thing goes wrong, my little voice says. "You big loser, you fail at everything you do, why do you try anymore?" ...it could be something as simple as running late for class, or tripping over a step.
It's Soooo bad when it comes to my boyfriend. He could be 3 minutes late in meeting me and BOOM "He hates you, he's with his friends and forgot all about you. No one loves you. He's gonna leave you anyway no matter what you do."
when I try to get a job it's like it's trying to talk me out of it. "You'll have no free time, you'll hate it."

I know it's my own voice, I'm talking to myself. But why would I say these things to myself. I always thought very highly of myself.
It's strange because I could be quite happy. I could be singing a little song as I dust the house and the voice will just pop up and say something to upset me and I'm sad for hours. It's like I'm afraid to be happy or something.

I went to the doctor last week and was put on the antidepressant Wellbutrin. It turns out that all the times I was feeling horrid was because I was having panic attacks and nervious break downs. 0_o. My doctor said she was surprised I didn't come in a lot sooner. I've only been on it for about a week, but I already stopped freaking out everytime something goes wrong, or my inner voice is telling me something bad.

But the voice is still there, and it drives me nuts.

[NotTheCheat]

The thing that has worked for me is to acknowledge the voices and to talk to them like I would a friend. So for example, if your friend said to you (talking about herself) “I’m such a big loser, I fail at everything you do,” wouldn’t you listen to her issues, but also try and remind her of all the reasons this isn’t the case? Perhaps you would also ask her questions about why she felt that way. That is how I try to respond to those voices. I spent so long trying to ignore the voice that it got louder and louder to try and catch my attention. It is ok to feel things. If you feel upset about something, then give yourself a moment to be upset about it. Don’t let other people (including yourself) judge whether or not your feelings are justified. If you feel hurt about something it is ok to recognize you felt hurt. Now it may not be enough of an issue that you would bring it up with another person, but inside you can still have that inner dialogue. The more I have done this the easier it has become to be self comforting rather than self criticizing, and the voices have become much less insistant since they know they will be listened to.

That is great that you saw your doctor and went on Wellburtin. I know it works really well for a lot of people. I used it to quit smoking and really liked being on it.

[Goodbye Chubby]

It can be very hard to change that defeatist attitude. I often used to say things like "I'm so stupid" or some other negative 'observation' that wouldn't help things. I did see a counselor for a little while in college and she really stressed the importance of catching yourself saying these things and stopping yourself.

These comments are not harmless and can turn into self-fulfilling prophesies. Someone who convinces himself that he's stupid will stop setting goals (what's the point, right?) and the quality of life will just go downhill. Words can lead to changes in behavior, but this can work in the positive direction as well as negative. It may sound silly, but every time you catch yourself/your voice saying something negative, try to say something positive. Even if it's something simple, like "I'm a nice person" or even, "I try to be a nice person." Even if you don't believe it at the time, say it anyway. If you're alone, try saying it out loud. I can pretty much guarantee you'll feel a little silly at first and it won't seem like it'll make a difference, but if I'm any proof, it does help.

Even now, I'll slip up and get to "I'm so," and then I realize what I'm saying and stop before I get to the word "stupid." It's something that I still keep in mind because it's so important. I might do something that is stupid, but calling myself stupid will only do more harm.

I hope this makes a little bit of sense. Just remember that you're in charge and no little voice is gonna push you around and keep you from what you want. Take care of yourself.

[plutonianmir]

Well look what happened to me, back in June. My motivation was weak to being with but after getting into that fiasco with the business situation (the ex mentor had preyed on my weakness and threw certain things into my face) and then some "friends" who I thought were friends had stabbed me in the back after I did what I could to help them, then I had someone downright making fun of my phobia.... my motivation was GONE! And the weight starting coming back on, now I am at a breaking point and I am TRYING to convince myself that I am not a loser but the fact that I had let these people win, and am STILL trying to fight but I still feel like I am losing the battle shows that I really am

[Morgaine]

You did the right thing in going to your doctor. I think you will like the Wellbutrin. it has the lovely side affect of squellching appetite - so it's a real help when trying to lose weight.

I get the self defeating attitude voices, too. I think sometimes we're just so comfy in our zone, that when we introduce change (losing weight, interviewing for jobs, etc) - it takes us out of that comfort zone and plants seeds of self-doubt. We just have to learn to embrace the changes in our life, I guess.

[coley144]

Oh I know that inner voice. I defeated it by giving it a stupid name that always makes me smile. Then whenever it came I'd just say 'Now X, just keep it down.' It would make me laugh so the moment would pass. Now it doesn't talk to me at all, or very rarely.

The secret is to become aware of it. Whilst it is talking to you and you are not aware that it is a negative voice then you just believe what it says. Become aware of it and laugh. Laughter is the best way to kill it. Call it Mister Bumbledoodle or Snooklekins or something.

[Wendy6]

I hear the voices too... they're usually telling me that ice cream will help me feel better.... or the chocolate bar will cheer me up. I have to learn to ignore them, but it is hard. I'm weak... and I listen to the voices

[Sakai]

LOL Wendy-, I get that voice all the time.
Coley144- *snicker*.. I'm naming mine "Mr. Snickles" (I see my inner voice as a male 0_o)
Morgaine- Yes!! I've noticed it already even though I've only been on it for a week. My food cravings have dropped to Nill. Now I have to FORCE myself to eat or else I wouldn't really get enough calories.
Gah, the first time my hunger died I had like 900 calories @_@ I went 14 hours without food. I wasn't paying attention. Doh!