I was doing great, I lost 4 pounds, I was eating healthy, exercising daily. Then my husband got laid off and I have been binging ever since. Like for the last 3 weeks. I have gained 12 pounds, my insides hurt, my guts ache, I feel full and bloated all the time, I honestly WANT to stop, but its like I can't. I am going to try though. I am trying right now. Iwill not binge tongiht.
I need to get back into feeling good about myself and being able to do this.
What is it about my husband being home/around that makes me binge. And a lot of it is secret binging! sigh
Honey, you DON'T suck, you are HUMAN. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please find a healthy way to vent your stres (coming here is a good step ) and know you are worth loving and caring for. Perhaps jornaling about how you feel before you have the urge to binge could help? Is there a friend or counselor or clergy member you trust? Have you looked into OA (is there Overeaters Anonymous in Canada?) Having a sponsor would help! I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Vanessa, sending you a big hug... If only our emotions didn't affect us so deeply.
One thing to remember... although you can't control the fact that your husband is off work and at home at present, you can control what you put in your mouth. That's a choice that belongs to you.
Empower yourself, and just do the best that you can do.
try something to make your body feel better instead of worse, like a nap, a hot bath, a glass of water, five minutes of gentle stretches, a walk, a candle, i don't know, anything to ease your discomfort a little. do something nice for your body to help break out of the bingeing.
a few little things might give you the boost you need.
Thank you all After I wrote that I stopped eating. I have actually been eating well for the last 4 days. Of course tongiht I want to binge. Well not so much, but eat something that I really dont need right now..
I want to have cheese, and cookies, and alcohol. I want to have sweets, and fried bread and all that stuff thats not good for me.
I have lost 3 of the 10 pounds I gained while binging, and Im proud of that. Im so upset that I cant lose weight. I have been trying since the new year. I bounce back and forth in this 201-213 range and I dont know what to do. I've tried counting calories while eating all the not so good foods, just within my limits (for 4 days max). I have tried BFL (I cant even make it to the first free day), I have tried jsut eating healthy, limiting portion sizes, eating whatever and hoping I get tired of it, and I do, but it seems I swing from one extreme to the next. Im so tired of this. Maybe I should give up for now and focus on being okay with myself. I wish I felt okay with myself.
wow.. I just read something on another site that made me go "WOAH!"
parapharased...
"""let me ask you this...where in your life are you feeling starved? where are you feeling empty? where are you feeling full? meditate a bit on the concepts of emptiness and fullness, feast and famine in your life right now (and also in your past...growing up, what needs were left un-filled?). """
I don't binge when my husband and I fight. I dont binge when I am alone. I binge when he is here, when he is hanging around, between shifts or job, when he is home for the weekend, when things are somewhat okay with us. I binge because I need to fill what he doesnt give me.
We have known for 2 years that we are not happy, seperating here and there, we didnt live together for all of 2005. He doesnt give me what I need emotionally, so I use food instead. I am an emotional eater, and drinker, and his unability to share his emotions, to grow and change, to actually try in our marriage is making me find solace in food instead.
What a great realization... my mom went through the same thing with my father (and they had been together for 25 years)... She wasn't getting what she needed but wanted to try to make it work, my dad was tired of trying to make it work - And I think both of them are happier now in a way.. it's been 2 1/2 years and since then my dad has remodeled this house that he loves and my mom has focused on getting certified for yoga and just having fun...
I think it's just about finding stuff that you like to do and filling the emptiness with that... I've been depressed recently I think cause work is slow and I have too much time on my hands, therefore I overanalyze read too many diet web sites etc. and it totally brings me down and makes me crazy...
Hang in there and just take it one day at a time...
I suck!
) and know you are worth loving and caring for. Perhaps jornaling about how you feel before you have the urge to binge could help? Is there a friend or counselor or clergy member you trust? Have you looked into OA (is there Overeaters Anonymous in Canada?) Having a sponsor would help! I'll keep you in my thoughts.
If only our emotions didn't affect us so deeply. 
