[madscientist]

I had planned on starting over this week, after mostly taking August off due to the excessive heat (that's another obstacle I've been dealing with all summer) and here I am, I got hit upside the head with a cold Friday night. It was nearly immediate onset.

But whatever. I'm sure I'll deal with it and keep losing. I know as soon as I feel better, I'm going back on my plan. I don't care if it's subconsciously created or a total coincidence, but life goes on with or without me. So I might as well jump on the wagon as soon as the next one rolls by (and there's always another coming, ALWAYS).

I'm just going to relax at home, drink my homemade tea watch some good movies, and keep eating healthy like I have been, even if I can't go exercise. Considering my condition, I choose to believe that is a good plan. (But I'm such a control freak and masochist, I instinctively wanted to be mad at myself for being sick!! )

Something is better than nothing, and I can't consider giving up an option. This is just too important to me, no matter how many curve balls I've been thrown -- and believe me, I'd have some real doozies in the last year. A cold doesn't even compare to the things I've struggled with in terms of my eating disorder, regardless of how not-in-control it makes me feel to have something take over my body and render me weak until IT decides to leave. But I'm going to try to make this time useful. Colds force you to slow down, and I've done nothing but go go go and beat myself up over and over all summer. I choose to take this time to re-evaluate the parts of my diet that aren't working for me, and work on the more mental and emotional levels of what's going on so I reprioritize, plan and get all this in perspective again. It's been a year since I've done anything of the sort.

I'm tired of punishing myself when things aren't perfect and getting angry at these things. Welcome to life. I feel far better when I treat myself nicely out of a conscious effort to do so, even when it's actually second nature to want to put myself down. Fake it 'till ya make it. A million alcoholics can't be wrong!

I've made a new list of goals this weekend, and I'm going to add being nice to myself to that list.

[toofatforu]

i know how you feel i am just coming off a 3 week major headache and stiff neck episode. when i hurt all i wanna do is grab some quick conveinent food, take care gwt yourself well then get back on track

[Jane]

madscientist - since you've dealt with much more than a cold during the past year, you already know what level of committment you have inside you. So, jump right back on the next wagon and carry on. As you said - welcome to life. Colds happen. Summer heat happens. Lots of things happen that we can't control. What we can control is how we deal with these curveballs. And yes, there's no use punishing yourself. But you can spend that same energy working on a plan. Your idea of re-evaluating your diet - what works, what doesn't - is a good one. Also, as soon as you feel a little better, start in with some light exercise again. It will make you feel more in control, too. Since I see by your ticker that you're already on the way, I think you can do this. Good luck!

toofatfor4 - if you try and keep healthy foods in the house that help comfort you, you can reach for one of these when the need arises. Something that comforts, but doesn't induce a binge, you know? One of my favorites is hot oatmeal. Find one or more that works for you, and go for it.