Do you believe in multiple personalities? I really think that in order to survive the "Diet World" you have to. I have definitely got more than one person inside of me and they fight all the time. I am tired of fighting myself and have been trying to find a way to do away with or get rid of the "bad" person in me. I (the good I) know what I need to do to become a thinner person; I know what I need to do to become healthier. Lower the fat and calorie intake and exercise more right. This is the personality of mine that goes to the grocery store and picks up lots and lots of veggies, chicken, and healthy snacks. It’s the personality that absolutely loves the new foods I have been eating and loves the way exercise makes me feel. This personality is in charge probably 75% of the time these days. I love this side of me it is what has got me to loose 45 pounds; it’s the side of me that wants to loose the other 56 pounds to reach my goal.
BUT.................................
I have a "bad" personality too. It’s the side of me that turned into Taco Bell last night instead of going on to Quizno's and getting that Turkey Sandwich. Its the person inside of me that says "but I am tired and I don't want to walk or jump on the trampoline or do anything else". This person inside of me points out it would be much quicker to make Sloppy Joes and French Fries for dinner than fire up the grill for the chicken and veggies. MMMM it would be nice to have some "real" sour cream on that baked potato the lite stuff is starting to get on my nerves. How about Ranch Dressing instead of low-cal low-fat French or Italian. The person that says for months now you have turned down all sweets except for your "fake" nighttime low-fat fat-free ice cream and frozen yogurt, I WANT CAKE AND LOTS OF IT. Not the little taste that you are willing to have but the whole flippin cake with thick frosting on it. If I were to let this person stop at the grocery store on the way home we would have nothing but junk food in our house, we would be having nachos with meat and sour cream for dinner. This is the person I am trying to subdue with chicken, veggies and fat-free frozen yogurt.
So far I feel that I have done pretty good to keep her under control but there are times I feel she is going to break free again and I don't want that to happen. Lucky for me this afternoon she is sleeping and I will have my healthy dinner and snack tonight and hopefully a nice brisk walk. But you never know when she will attack again. Heck I never know. Any ideas on how to commit a personality homicide with out taking out the whole body? I just want to get rid of the hungry crazy woman inside that argues for the unhealthy food.
Hmm, there is this person inside me that can really relate to your post. She is the one who feels like she’s been fighting against a version of her self that happen to reside in the same body and share the same mind.
Unfortunately you are not alone in this problem. I think we all have our little angel on one shoulder and our personal little devil on the other . I wish I knew how to perform a personality-rectomy and leave only the good one, but to be honest even if I did know how, I’m not sure I would do it. I believe that it’s the little devil inside us that makes us question everything. If you let me get all philosophical about it, I will say that it’s the same little devil that makes us creative, rebellious and unconventional. So the true challenge to me is not to get rid of it, but to let it be, only keep it under control… Well, as much as possible.
This is hilarious! I am sure everyone on here relates totally! Well put made me laugh! I am with you when you say glad she is sleeping and never no when she will awake. Or dag nab it what makes her wake u p.
I definitely want a straight-jacket for PMS Colleen, she is a raving werewolf b****. I think my husband would almost go for it. I think I've spent my 3 weeks of very month of my adult life trying to undo the damage SHE has caused during that one week.
Ordinarily I get hungry when I haven't eaten in a few hours, but THAT week I could eat until it hurts and still feel like I'm starving to death. And I crave lots of red meat, chocolate, and fatty carbs (hm, carbs, protein, and fat, guess there isn't much else, is there). About the only thing I don't crave is lean meats, fruits and veggies (which I LOVE the rest of the month).
This past month, is the first in recent memory that I was able to muzzle her somewhat. I did feel all Jekyll and Hyde, and it took every ounce of strenght I had to keep from going on an eating spree. I wasn't completely successful, but at least I didn't gain that week, so I didn't have anything to UNDO.
Part of it was getting my husband to help. He often knows when that week is coming better than I do (I get all mean and nasty, so he keeps track for self-preservation), and would bring home fast food burgers to "calm the beast." I asked him not to bring home any "surprises," and he didn't, but he kept offering "I can go on a burger run if you need me to." I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn't consciously sabotaging, it was just the only "weapon" he knew how to use against the werewolf.
It's almost time for her to come out again, so I'm trying to prepare. There's only dark chocolate in the house (hubby has it hid somewhere, and I don't really like it, so I probably won't tear the house apart looking for it), and I've cleared the house of most of the dangerous stuff. Shredded wheat and baked tortilla chips are going to be the closest I've got to temptation foods.
We really stocked up at the farmers' market so we've got lots of fruits and veggies.
It's still going to be tough, because I know my husband has absolutely no defense against "her," as any time I suggest going out to eat, or buying junk, he's perfectly willing and unlikely to even question it, so I have to "stay strong" for both of us. I ask him to at least ask "are you sure," before any binges, but I definitely have the stronger willpower of the two of us, even during THE week, so he's not much help there at all.
I know exactly what you mean, but I have changed my perspective on her presence. We used to fight – all the time. I used to live in utter fear of her coming out going out of control. I would lose my tight grip and come back to my senses halfway through a carton of ice cream or a bag of chips (or both) and wonder how I could be so weak to let her gain control once again.
At some point I realized I would always live in a battle zone if I didn’t make peace with her, so as scary as it was, I let go of the reins. I stopped trying to control her all the time. I thought it would be a disaster, but strangely enough, when I didn’t try and control her, she didn’t get so out of control. I realized that she is part of me, and something I will never get rid of, but instead that we needed to find a way to live in harmony. I also realized that she was the part of me who handled my pain, and that eating was the only way she knew how to deal with strong emotions. When I started to share her grief, rage, anger, frustration, etc. and not just pile it on her to deal with, her need to drown those feelings in food diminished. That doesn’t mean she isn’t gone – in fact she just asserted herself last night. I have promised we will figure out what is wrong (although at this point I still don’t know) and I went to bed early rather than eat a bunch of ice cream.
Last edited by NotTheCheat; 08-18-2006 at 01:41 PM.
I certainly can relate to how you feel, because that's how I have felt with every diet I went on in the past.
I finally reached a point where I just said "Enough; I can't do this anymore." I can't stand fighting myself all the time and depriving myself and scolding myself like I'm a little kid caught with my hand in the cookie jar.
So over a period of several weeks I thought about what it was that made dieting so unpleasant for me and made a mental list:
-Being a slave to the scale
-Bland food
-Lack of food choices
-Rigid rules--being told what to eat and when
-Having to deprive myself of food I like
-Not being able to cook from "regular" recipes
-Beating myself up when I eat something that's not on the diet
-All those stupid "lite," "low-fat," "low-carb" substitutes that don't taste like the real thing
And I came up with my own plan that didn't have any of those unpleasant things that were on the list. And after all these years of yo-yo dieting it looks like I have finally hit just the right combination for me, because it is working and so far it has been painless. All the energy I used to put into obsessing over food and beating myself up for screwing up my diet can now go toward improving other areas of my life.
I lived with my good and bad diet alter egos for so many years...it is really liberating to have them gone.
Thanks for the replies. I didn't realize that it would be so helpful to hear what others have to say but it really is and now I know I am not the only one out there.
LOL, I actually NAMED the Fat woman inside of me- her name is Pudge. She likes homemade pumpkin pie...a LOT! Recently, Pudge didn't get much because I told her that she'd have to be good and exercise to get her pumpkin pie.
Thanks for the replies. I didn't realize that it would be so helpful to hear what others have to say but it really is and now I know I am not the only one out there.
That's what I love about 3FC....you are NEVER the only one out there...
That's what I love about 3FC....you are NEVER the only one out there...
You took the words right out of my mouth... Before joining this site I thought I was ALONE with my food thoughts, but once I joined here I found out I wasn't of course... So keep posting, venting and sharing RRVMMM you are definitely not alone and we're here to help you
I'm not crazy!!!
and our personal little devil on the other
. I wish I knew how to perform a personality-rectomy and leave only the good one, but to be honest even if I did know how, I’m not sure I would do it. I believe that it’s the little devil inside us that makes us question everything. If you let me get all philosophical about it, I will say that it’s the same little devil that makes us creative, rebellious and unconventional. So the true challenge to me is not to get rid of it, but to let it be, only keep it under control… Well, as much as possible.
p.
