[maeble]

Do you ever wake up and think...darn I'm awake already? that's the kind of day that I've had today. and although I woke up with a foul disposition, I reminded myself that if I were to stay in bed all day, my metabolism would be equivalent to that of a very large rock! I forced myself outta bed and instantaneously, the need to binge became my first task on my list of "things to do"... man this diet is hard. I ,being the diligent fat chick on a diet kinda person that I am, headed directly for the diet food, I had a delicious low calorie brunch! One obstacle down, many more to go. As my day progresses, I sit in my lonely 2 bedroom apartment, which is empty except for the sound of the nearby road, I begin to think of lifes purpose and meanings, what have I got to gain from all of this "busy work" that I do on a daily basis? am I gaining anything from my behaviors or life situation? This line of thinking leads me to realize that my life is very empty, no kids, no husband (or even boyfriend), no close family, no friends, (I just moved into an area where I don't know anybody). the whole dieting thing begins to look like a molehill on my mountain!
I consider the thought of consoling myself with a # 3 or # 4, or even both from the nearest fast food joint, but then the little voice inside my head that serves as my diet conscience says to me "and what will that do to help this situation?". The thought, right as always, leads me to a nice cup of tea.

I am on this diet for many reasons, but far and away the biggest reason for my dieting is my self esteem. I am soo tired of waiting to be thin. My desperation for instant weight loss is becoming extreme, but there is nothing I can do but wait.

This is why I just wanna go back to bed

[snuggle]

I feel like sleeping all day sometimes. Seems easier than dealing with life doesn't it? And I'm SURE you will make friends soon! I too am dieting for my self esteem and the waiting is killing me! But what can ya do eh? *sigh*

You are doing so well with your weightloss! Congrats on what you have lost!

I'm sorry you feel your life is 'empty' because you have no kids or man in your life. I have a guy in my life and still feel empty. I'd pick being single over this mess I am in. Having someone won't always fill the emptyness. Be happy with yourself for now! You will find a good someone when the time is right.

[purplepansy912]

been there.....
I know how you feel believe me...I'm on the meds.. I'm doing the daily affirmations. I'm being positive.. so why do I feel this way... what keeps me going is my kids.....
I take the meds.. I go to counceling.... why is this so hard...? wish I knew..

[AquaChick]

I had a day like that yesterday. It is hard when those days come.

[Nicklewise]

I have many days like that too! I would rather stay in bed all day then get up and deal with everything. Oddly enough though when I force my self to get up and get moving I feel better.. I think I need to talk to the doc about uping my dose, I can't fall asleep at night, I am to tired to go to work and have slept in way to often lately.

I wish there was some magic words that could fix us all but there is not. Just knowing others feel the same way is a nice comfort, it gives the validation that your just depressed (not crazy..lol) or at least it does for me.

[I_am_Bastet]

On here, okay? Sorry to hear you were having such a rough day. I went through what I would call "situational depression" for almost a year after losing my father to a long illness. I was very depressed and also suffered from anxiety, would wake up from terrible dreams gripped by it. I did some counceling, and fortunately did not need to get on any meds. I did have to take stock of my life and cut loose a few relationships that were unhealthy for me.

Believe me, Maeble, I know what it is like to feel alone. I was single for so long I used to wonder if something was wrong with me. I'm married now, and happy for the most part, as much as you can be with two imperfect people living together, right! But being with someone did not fix me. I'm still very much a work in progress. Learning not to be an emotional eater, learning to ask for help when I need it. Someday I'll make it... maybe!

Hope you're feeling better, Chica!!