[phantastica]

I need to keep an eye on myself. This is an extension of the "how not to be obsessed about weight loss" thread, in a way.

I suddenly find myself doling out advice on weight loss to people, especially those closest to me. I'm sure they're happy for my success, but I am far from being an expert and I worry that sometimes I sound like some kind of know-it-all. I assume they all really care about what I have to say and want to lose weight, too.

I tell a few people about my weight loss (the current number, recent NSVs, etc) every time I talk to them. It's my mother, my sister and my best friend, but still. I wonder if they are on the other end of the phone rolling their eyes at me.

I've sent out then/now photos to people on two different occasions, again probably with them rolling their eyes on the other end, saying Jeez, Phantastica, can you shut up already? Some of them are my biggest cheerleaders and would never say anything about it because they know how big of a deal this is to me, and I am thankful for that.

I do allow myself a little bit of a luxury with this, because I offer the same latitude to these people with whatever their current obsession or success is, be it school, a new job, a new love, a new baby.

I just wonder if I'm truly becoming more self-absorbed (and if maybe this isn't such a terrible thing?) or if I'm annoying the $^!( out of people. I need to remind myself that it's not All About Me and that maybe I should, just for practice, shut up about myself once in a while. I don't want to lose perspective on this, and I certainly don't want to pick up annoying habits or push people away.

The other thing I wonder is this: Am I that dependent on others' feedback and opinions that I feel the need to hear good things from them all the time?

Just a few points of introspection for me. Thanks for listening.

[cemetarysiren25]

Ah, don't feel bad. I'm the exact same way!! I talk to everyone who will listen about my weight loss. I love saying that I just lost 125 pounds and hear the reactions that I get. I love to show people my fat pictures and see their reactions. I've also dealt out a fair share of "healthy eating and exercise" advice over the past year....my mother, my friends, even my DH. I inspired my mother to lose weight and one of my co-workers.
I know that I'm a lot more self-absorbed now than I was before. I always ask my husband how outfits look on me before we go out. I spend far too long getting ready to go to work and go out. I have so many summer clothes now that I don't know where I'm going to put them all once late fall/winter arrive!! LOL I have to look perfect, for myself.
My DH said something to me a while back after I had taken a while to get ready before we went out. He said, "You always take so long to get ready to go out. Why can't you just look average once in a while?" I thought about it for a second and said to him, "I have looked 'just average' for YEARS and YEARS! I don't want to look average anymore. I want to look the best that I possibly can because it makes ME feel good!"
I push for compliments too!! So, it's not only you my dear!

[4myloves]

You have lost 63 pounds!! Please, be proud of yourself--toot your own horn! If you feel like you're exposing or bragging too much to your family and friends come HERE and brag to US!

I love to hear success stories! And I'll never roll my eyes!!

[lilybelle]

I have been guilty of the same thing, more at first than now. My MIL has been supportive of my weight loss and I have told her each loss, gain or stall that I had. My DH and kids were very supportive at first, but gradually it was old news to them. When I reached goal, I announced it here before even telling any of my family. I still haven't told either of my sisters. They were very happy for me while I was still heavy but once I weighed less than them , I started getting negative comments.
I am happy to have been an encouragement for my MIL and my Aunt, I talked to them today and they started a new lifestyle change on Monday. My MIL is 40 lbs. over-weight and has heart palpitations and blood sugar problems. My Aunt is at least 100 lbs. over-weight and has severely high blood pressure. They both said that seeing me lose weight gave them the incentive to try to lose it too. It took them a year to get on the bandwagon but they are finally here. If my obsessiveness helps one person then it is totally worth it.

[phantastica]

Originally Posted by lilybelle

If my obsessiveness helps one person then it is totally worth it.

Great point! This can be about everyone's health, and not just my own vanity.

I've rethunk the obsession piece a bit. While many think obsession can be bad - and it can be if it becomes compulsive and unproductive - I would have to say that's what's gotten me most of my success in life. In college, I ate, slept and breathed mathematics. And I graduated with excellent grades. When I wanted to learn databases/SQL, I did it so thoroughly that I dreamt about SQL code. Obsessiveness is my way of embracing something and learning something new.