Yep... I've been in and outta the hospital it's too hard to even count the visits. I had to have a 'port' put in under the skin to receive TPN (IV nutrition) at home. I am currently on complete bowel rest (again) because I have an open fistula in my stomach... for those of whom do not know what this is... (WARNING, May be TMI) it's when you get a hole in your pouch and the 'infection'/whatever eats at your scar tissue and creates a path to the outside of your body. I have a leaking hole in my stomach that I have to change the bandage several times a day (YUCK) and I'd just totally like to DRINK something at this point. I'm still regretting having the surgery but still what can you do. I'm now 66 lbs down, but I can't even enjoy that. Getting up outta the chair or bed (if I dare try to actually lay down) is so hard. I'm also home bound because my insurance won't pay for a nurse to come to my house several times a week to check on me, do my blood draws ect, unless I am totally home bound... so I get to leave for DR's appts and to get RX's filled. I'm so frustrated that I'm begining to be disgusted that I ever had the surgery in the first place.
Sorry to be such a vent, but I need to tell someone.
Hugs and I hope ya'll are having a better time at it than me,
Shar
Hey Shar... I hear you. I haven't been exactly where you are, but close. The being homebound thing must drive you right around the bend. What position are you most comfortable in and how long can you 'be' there? Like could you handle going to a drive-in movie or for a drive in the country to a peaceful place? Can you do ice at all or is it strictly NPO? What is your doctor projecting in terms of healing time with the fistula at this point?
Here's what I know from being in a similar place with my last surgery and from life in general. You have to reach for the Beauty. In colours, in your garden, in music, in your children, your loved ones, in the sunset. Keep looking for the beauty in God's world and you will find it is a healing path. The Beauty will help you heal Shar.
‘People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.’
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
You have that light within Shar. That's why we can all see your true beauty shine through right now.
OMG Hub that was the most awesome post! I was just in here checking around because I have a SIL looking into surgery....
Shar I will keep you in my prayers I am sorry that you are having so many problems..Surround yourself with the things you love and be thankful that you are alive.
Hubs that post made me cry... I am a recovering Bulimic (bulimic since 8 last bulimic episode January 29) and have been in a very dark place since March...My darkness is lifting and I have hope again and that post made my light even brighter! Everyone should hold your post dear to their hearts and pull it out when we all need it.
Thanks Sharon. It came from the heart. I believe, deeply, that beauty restores hope. I actually wrote my thesis on 'The Healing Way of Beauty'. Despair is what happens when hope is lost kwim? Beauty, the expression of it, the appreciation of it, the creation of it, the experience of it - returns us to life. To healing. To hope.
I'm so glad to hear your darkness is lifting Sharon. And take fish oil!!!
Yup, fish oil. When you're in a really stressed, or depressed state whether due to physiological reasons or psychological reasons fish oil - as a source of Omega 3 Essential Fatty Acids - can be very helpful in recovering a sense of wellbeing. Make sure its a good quality, northern cold water fish variety like from Wild Salmon.
Shar.. I am sorry to hear what your going through! By the way, I am specialized in TPN, and I have seen a lot of cases like yours. Depending on your fistula, it might take anywhere from 2 weeks to a couple of months to heal with NPO, but in most cases it does and you won't have to go through another surgery.. Just hang in there! Here's a site that might be helpful http://www.oley.org/
Almost 3 months post op and still NPO
