I was wondering if any of you ever dealth with something similar:
Here's a little background:
My husband works with a bunch of younger , single guys. He quickly noticed that these guys are convinced that a "fat" women is just discusting, gross and should be hidden from the world. We shouldn't be alllowed to go outside. When they say "fat", it's any women that have more than 10lbs too much on their body or any slight evidence of a love handle.
My husband did try to make them understand that a women that weights 120lbs at 19 doesn't always stay that way for ever, especialy after mariage since you get busier with life around you and don't spend as much time exercising/ taking care of yourself. It's not like she doesn't care about herself anymore , it's the fact of life. We all get into a routine and it's hard to get out of it. He also added that most of the realy skinny girls are just plain witches and selfish, that most "big" women are just the best women to have around you for life. They tend to be more aware of your feelings and your likes/dislikes, they tend to be "real". They are real women and that's the kind of women you want around when you take vows for life. No matther what he said , nothing was reaching them.
My husband later told one of his co-worker about me being "big" and told him that he was the reason I got that way since he totaly disrupted my routine when we started dating but he was proud of me for trying to get back into shape and healthier. He later asked this co-worker not to tell anyone else about me being "big" (I totaly agree, these guys can be extremely cruel with their comments and my husband doesn't take attacks to his love ones very lightly. So being co-workers, he doesn't want to lose his job)
Have any of you faced a situation where you can't imagine picking your husband up at work / going to any company events because of his co-workers being to nasty both to you and your husband? I realy don't care about the comments they can give me but I don't want to be the source of any pain for my husband.
Wow, I know where you are coming from... My husband works with smalll-minded people as well, but their wives ain't nothing spectacular either... For instance, I think I'd rather be this size than have missing teeth or be just plain white trailer trash.
I have to take my husband to work and pick him up everyday (we only have one vehicle). I am embarassed to be there sometimes, but it more has to do with my insecurities than anything his coworkers have said. I feel like I am an embarassment to him, and that I wish that I could be a hot, little wife for him to show-off. I have been afraid that he would get trashed for having a "fat" "ugly" wife. I don't know if he has, I don't think he would tell me, I think he would just get fired for kicking some a$$ if someone did make a comment.
My husband would say similar things that yours did - he does think that heavy women make better mates/wives, but he has had bad personal experiences with skinny women too.
Foreverhopefull, I haven't been in that kind of situation, but I saw your post, and just wanted to make a comment.
WOW, what a GREAT husband you've got! Talk about loving and supportive and mature. I am just in awe.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of stuff. But you're making great progress, and with a keeper of a husband like that, you've got it made.
Don't let idiots like that drag you down. They know nothing about real people and real love. Big hugs, sweetie...
Foreverhopefull - those guys will find out one day.. karma, I hope it exists because I know a lot of people who need a swift kick in the ***.
My boyfriend works with great people luckily, its his friends who are the problem. Lots of them have been dropped over the years as we've gotten more and more serious thankfully. One of his friends when I first met him was REALLY nice to me, but when I was around he was trying to get my bf to cheat on me! And another one of his friends was about to tell him (and everyone they were playing basketball with) how "fat" I was, and my bf punched him. Unfortunately that last guy is back in the scene, they don't hang out at my house though.
I don't know what the answer is, just know you are NOT alone! And be thankful you have such a great hubby, lots of men are NOT man enough to do that!
DH is a total sweetheart and very very loyal. This wouldn't be the first time he has taken drastic moves regarding comments about my weight. He once told his sister to not contact him until she became aware of the comments she had said about me and she also had to appologize about her comments.
She had said that she deserved to get a liposuction and gastric by-pass to get rid of all her fat...she weighted about 110lbs at the time, she did not have fat to give away at all. I was about 180 at that time.
It took her about 6 months to get his point , but hse never did appologize to me. He know doesn't even talk to her anymore since she repeated that comment later on..on our wedding day. I had balloonned up to 315lbs because of the stress and over eating.
Luckily he works farther than I and ends his shift earlier, so he drops me off to work. I don't have to face them.
As one of you said , Karma will get them back...I hope.
I don't think I've ever had to directly deal with this. It's more of a woman issue. Dh works for the forestry department, he fills tankers that fight the forest fires. That said, every summer he is in contact with pilots. I'm not saying all pilots are bad but there are a good deal of them who are high on themselves and make nasty comments about women. Dh has five sisters, he does not take those comments lightly and he's almost gotten in fights over it while these guys are staying at his base.
Most if not all the guys he works with are great guys but I've worked in the forestry department for 12 years and I know them all. No one says a thing about my weight. They are all genuinely great guys and they even encourage me on my efforts of weigh loss.
I know my boyfriend loves me for me. He loves me being big and beautiful... and he would stick up for me in any situation. I am somewhat afraid of what his co-workers will think about me. I'm a big girl, and he's teeny tiny (underweight, actually). Everyone in his office is respectful of everyone else... and I love that about his workplace. They would never say anything to his face about me being big (or behind his back, for that matter) I just don't want them to think bad about me.
Hey Snowbound Chic - I just had to say that I worked on an Air Force base until recently and pilots were the worst!! Not to me - they were always nice to my face, but they sure would talk about other fat and/or ugly people all the time (and they very well may have been talking about me behind my back). Anyway - there were some really nice pilots too but I noticed that they were bad at talking about women in negative ways.
You're not a source a pain to your husband - THEY are the source of pain. Please read that line like a hundred times.
Your husband loves you no matter what size you are. He's not in pain because you're fat, he's in pain because he works with fat heads. Make this important distinction because the first can cause resentment in a relationship.
Stand tall and pick up your husband. Go to the company picnic and socialize. He's not ashamed of you - don't be ashamed of you either! If they tease him, he can handle that. He's not looking to be best friends with these guys. He's a professional.
He quickly noticed that these guys are convinced that a "fat" women is just discusting, gross and should be hidden from the world. We shouldn't be alllowed to go outside. When they say "fat", it's any women that have more than 10lbs too much on their body or any slight evidence of a love handle.
Wow. Shallow, anyone? These are usually the guys who've gained a bunch of weight @ the HS reunion, or whose wives cheat on them, b/c they're just so HOTTT, that their personal trainer wants to them, too.
Or they trade in the wife every 10-20 years for a younger, thinner model. Usually after she has raised the kids & helped put him through grad school.
Your husband is a keeper, and like someone else said, these are not his friends, just some chuckleheads he has to work with.
Quote:
Have any of you faced a situation where you can't imagine picking your husband up at work / going to any company events because of his co-workers being to nasty both to you and your husband? I realy don't care about the comments they can give me but I don't want to be the source of any pain for my husband.
I haven't had to deal with this, but anyone who had a comment for me would receive a comment of their own in return. I am not by any means the jolly fat person.
Hey! Your husband is a very good man!! Kudos to him, he speaks like a "real man". Good luck to you in reaching your goals and good luck to you and your husband!!
I bet those guys would be jealous of the great relationship you have with your husband. Weight and looks change over time (weight doesn't make you good or bad). I think having the maturity and good spirit to build a happy relationship is really a treasure. Congrats.
Question for everyone...
Talk about loving and supportive and mature. I am just in awe. 
But you're making great progress, and with a keeper of a husband like that, you've got it made. 
them, too. 
