Hi All -- I have a question for you... My MIL can be really snotty about the way I look and gets worse the more I lose (snide comments & all) - keep in mind she is now way heavier than I am so I think it is a jealousy thing. However recently she has asked me what I am doing and if I will share.
Now being a good DIL I should BUT she hasn't been nice or supportive just a total ***** plus I have paid A LOT of $$$ for the program I am on. I don't think that is right that I should just "hand-over" the information I have fully paid for for the results I am getting so she can get it all for free.
What nerve! And how awkward.
Tell her you'll hand over the info if she pays for half of your program.
You're not being bratty at all. Congratulations on your weight loss!!
Well you could always just give her the name of the program and where you got it and let her fork out the money for the program or do the leg work to find out what is involved in doing the program. That way she can't say that you weren't helpful or complain to your DH about you being snotty about it but you're not just giving her the program that you paid for. Besides most programs that you pay for will have different requirements based on age weight health concerns etc. so she would be better off to get correct info for herself than just do what you are doing, because what you are doing may not be right for her.
LOL I did that, I got "but I am retired, I can't afford to spend a lot" or "for all the things I have done for you" -- now that last statement has me & my dh in hysterics as she doesn't do anything for us, not freely or willingly -- it is all conditional (I mean please do any of you have to pay for family heirlooms? - we told them to keep them, sad!)
So far I have only told her I just really watch what I eat and I exercise a lot.
Thank you -- I love this place!
**posted same time as one above -- I thought about that but whenever the commercial comes on, you should hear her comments - yes well it works! I am proof
Personally, I'd share. She's your MIL. Rude or not, do you really want to make the mother of the man you're spending the rest of your life with an enemy? It may have cost you for the program, but it doesn't cost anything to share the info. And if she loses weight too, her rudeness may go with it. And you'll feel a lot better knowing you made a difference in someone else.
Yes I can see that point too however my dh is just as irritated with her (they aren't that close) and she was evil when she was thin as well -- it is just "her" some people are just so miserable I swear they only get pleasure out of trying to make others just as miserable
When my weight loss became noticable I had many friends and co-workers ask to see my WW information. I just told them to come to the next meeting with me and get the info and support, then we could work together. I did become a mentor for many, but some "friends" thought I should just make copies of everything...not!
If she's been such a B$%^& about the situation then she is already an enemy - why reach out when it only comes back to bite you like a snake? Just because she's being somewhat tolerable now doesn't mean she won't revert to her nasty self at the drop of a hat. (I have experience with this with my own MIL and I do not put up with it anymore...just brings YOU pain in the end)
If you don't feel comfortable giving her your information that you paid for and have worked so hard for, then don't. You have every right to not do that.
I think that's awesome that DH is so supportive of you. Kudos to him... too many guys can't stand up to their own mother...my DH is very supportive of me when it comes to his mother and I am so grateful that I have him on my side in the matter
Well you could always just give her the name of the program and where you got it and let her fork out the money for the program or do the leg work to find out what is involved in doing the program. That way she can't say that you weren't helpful or complain to your DH about you being snotty about it but you're not just giving her the program that you paid for. Besides most programs that you pay for will have different requirements based on age weight health concerns etc. so she would be better off to get correct info for herself than just do what you are doing, because what you are doing may not be right for her.
I agree with this completely with timmyshawn. Give her the program and she can shell out the money and work her little butt off just as you did to lose the weight. Congrats on your weight loss and you are being a good DIL just by giving her the info to get herself started.
I did not read all of the messages here. But I had to comment already just from the few that I read. Lol... can you tell how my relationship is with my MIL lol.
How do you and your hubby feel about your MIL's finances? Does she actually have to watch her pennies or does she have enough to splurge on something like this? This is what I would ask myself because of many issues in my own family (won't say on open boards lol).
Based on what I have read in your posts.... your mother in law takes advantage of you in every way and steps on you every chance she gets! Personally I would tell her the phone number of where to get the product and tell her to get it herself!
If your MIL is anything like I am thinking - she won't listen to anything you had to say to help her with the program anyway!!!! Snobby, snotty people don't ever seem to come back to earth to quickly.
Sorry your having to go through this! MIL's can be quite headaches sometimes. CONGRATS on your weight loss though!!
BTW - what are you doing? Not asking for free handouts of course lol. Just curious though... now I will go back and read the messages here lol.
Personally, I'd share. She's your MIL. Rude or not, do you really want to make the mother of the man you're spending the rest of your life with an enemy?
When you marry, you marry the person, not the family. At least, that's the way I look at it. A MIL should *earn* respect, not simply be accorded it because she's the MIL.
I've never been a supporter of the "But it's family..." arguement.
But that's the way I look at ALL family. There is no need to *love* people simply because they are family. In most cases, you can't choose family, so in my opinion, you're under absolutely NO obligation to love, help, support the adult members whatsoever (the exception is minor children, of course). Love should be voluntary, not mandatory.
Marshro, if you *want* to share the name of the program, you should. And if you don't want to, you shouldn't. And feel no guilt about it. You're under no obligation, simply because she's the MIL. And if you feel you have to justify why you won't pay for her, simply explain that you and your DH have your own financial obligations to attend to (an especially compelling arguement if you have minor children to support). "Sorry, MIL, no can do. Good luck!"
When you marry, you marry the person, not the family. At least, that's the way I look at it. A MIL should *earn* respect, not simply be accorded it because she's the MIL.
I've never been a supporter of the "But it's family..." arguement.
But that's the way I look at ALL family. There is no need to *love* people simply because they are family. In most cases, you can't choose family, so in my opinion, you're under absolutely NO obligation to love, help, support the adult members whatsoever (the exception is minor children, of course). Love should be voluntary, not mandatory.
Marshro, if you *want* to share the name of the program, you should. And if you don't want to, you shouldn't. And feel no guilt about it. You're under no obligation, simply because she's the MIL. And if you feel you have to justify why you won't pay for her, simply explain that you and your DH have your own financial obligations to attend to (an especially compelling arguement if you have minor children to support). "Sorry, MIL, no can do. Good luck!"
This was well said! I could not have said this in a more respectful way by no means! I could not agree with you more. Your right... love is not mandatory... it takes time to love, honor, trust, respect and so forth! Nothing happens over night. You said this so well. Makes it all brighter I am sure.
"How do you and your hubby feel about your MIL's finances? Does she actually have to watch her pennies or does she have enough to splurge on something like this? This is what I would ask myself because of many issues in my own family (won't say on open boards lol)."
Her $$ issues are her issues, not mine. She always tells us - oh you will figure it out. So she can figure it out. She is only nice to me when SHE wants something, otherwise she is quite the zinger. Plus they vacation down south or travel the US every winter in a honkin' 40 Motorhome. please... let me show you $$$ issues but I will not complain about the $$ to lose the weight! It is working, I feel great and just wish I found this place sooner!
I will tell her where I am going for help and then she is on her own. I like that one explanation that everyone's needs and health issues are different so she can do it.
BTW: I have joined Medical Weight Loss Clinic (no I do not take the meds - just the nutrion sessions & I do take the nutrients which aren't half bad by the way). I do stairs, bowflex, tummy tapes and free weights and I walk when it is nice out, but this is Michigan you know LOL. I joined this program 3 weeks ago. (I have been a "member" here for a couple years but I went through a phase but I am back now
Thanks all, honestly I really appreciate it. I always feel like tossing a coin when she starts being nice cause I know she is up to something.
Everyone always wants to know how ‘you’ do it but when it comes down to it – it’s no secret. Exercise and eat healthy. Tell her that. She doesn’t need every detail that worked for you.
I am a brat and I know it and if I were you I wouldn’t tell her a thing. But that’s me
Share willingly?
Congratulations on your weight loss!!
It may have cost you for the program, but it doesn't cost anything to share the info. And if she loses weight too, her rudeness may go with it. And you'll feel a lot better knowing you made a difference in someone else.
