I was sitting here reading posts and thinking what an amazing group of people all you 3FC members are... and, how if it wasn't for the wonders of the internet, I wouldn't have had a chance to see that. This site has helped a lot in my weight-loss goals, but it's helped with something else, too. I'm a very judgemental person - I don't like it about myself, but I know that I am. I'm the girl who will make snap judgements about people based on what they wear, their hairstyle... pretty much anything superficial. I really am trying to work on this, because I think it costs me - I miss out on getting to know a lot of cool people because I don't like the type of music they listen to or something else stupid like that. That's where 3FC comes in. There are so many wonderful people here who give me and everyone else so much support, who I may very well have passed on the street without a second thought... we get to know each other's personalities on here without having time to judge each other based on superficial things. It's taught me that I really need to be more open to new people, because I'm better for having had the chance to get to know you guys, and I hope I get to meet more people on here. It's funny, because people say that the internet provides anonimity, but I think we're all more open because we know we won't be judged because of superficial things.... and now I'm babbling! Just wanted to share this with you guys.
Posts like yours are on of the reasons I love this place so much. None of us take the support and understanding we have on here for granted. When I am here I feel like I'm being seen as a person, not being judged as someone with a weight problem. Here I am a "loser" (in the nicest sense of the word)
I'm the opposite, I always take people at face value and I'm not judgemental enough, and wind up in situations where I get hurt, or end up with the most amazing friendships with people that others may have shunned. I wouldn't want to be any other way!
I'm the opposite, I always take people at face value and I'm not judgemental enough
I really respect that attitude of being able to take people for who they are, and I'm working every day on being more like that - I know I'm the way I am because I figure if I judge someone first then it doesn't matter if they judge me - not the greatest way to go through life! I hope that as I become more comfortable with myself, and happier with who I am, I can open up more and not shut people out so much
Good message, Sierra! I think I tend to think a bit differently because for several years I helped manage a forum message board and got to know so many people and learn a lot of what goes on behind the scenes... it's a lot of hard work and dedication.
But most of all... two of my very best friends in the entire world... I met via the Internet. I later moved to Fort Lauderdale where they lived, to work with the forum (and the Christian ministry it was based on) and got to know them and their families. Wouldn't trade it for anything!!
It is wonderful for me to have found another forum where I fit in so well and am "meeting" so many nice people. Sure you have to use caution and not throw your common sense out the window... there are "problem makers" out there... but my experience has been that the vast majority are really great people just being themselves!! And you get to know each other because you HAVE to talk... there isn't body language, running around together, etc.
you get to know each other because you HAVE to talk... there isn't body language, running around together, etc.
That's exactly it, Misti - you bypass any first impressions or preconceived notions because you realize that we're all here for the same thing - to give and get support in our weight-loss journeys - it makes me wish we could all be so open and accepting all the time, which I guess means it's time for me to open my eyes and start paying attention to people for who they are.
Well, Sierra, I think you "hit" on another important aspect about 3FC. Where ELSE can we go and find so many people who honestly understand our struggles and where we even... GASP... tell how much we WEIGH!!! ?? <G> To some extent or another we are all in the same boat and have to keep paddling together to keep it afloat LOL
So true Misti! As if in real life I would run around telling people that I binged on chocolate chip cookies and cheese last night or that I'm upset because I didn't lose any weight this week due to being bloated (you know, for example... lol!) They'd lock me up in the crazy house!!!
LOL, true! And it is so hard NOT to talk about it when we are excited about what we are doing... OR when we are discouraged when things are not happening! And as if THEY care how many bottles of lemon water I drink and how often it makes me go pee.
I completely agree with everything you guys have said. I LOVE this forum. I was telling someone about a success I had just had and they're looking at me like okay, she has finally gone around the bend! I post it here and get all kinds of people posting about how great that little success was!
I'm so glad I stumbled upon it when I was researching the Sonoma Diet
Sierra, I wanted to jump in and say that I'm glad you are discovering this! As a lifelong nerd (beyond even fat chick) I know that it hurts when people make assumptions about you based on style and not substance. I don't have tons of friends but the ones I treasure make up a pretty eclectic group and I wouldn't have it any other way. I learn so much from these friends because they are interested in different things than I am.
Oddly, I'm sort of the same as you, though. I, too used to make judgements about people based on their looks. If they were Beautiful People I instantly "hated" them! But then I met my good friend Doug, an artist, sci-fi geek, great guy... and GULP... a gorgeous gorgeous specimen of a man! Blonde, built, hot... wow! I should have hated him on sight, but he loves Star Wars as much as I do, and we instantly bonded. Go figure!
So, it's good to know that you are also a nice person, despite being one of the Beautiful People!
So, it's good to know that you are also a nice person, despite being one of the Beautiful People!
Oh, dalai, I don't see myself as one of the beautiful people! That's just the thing, I'm realizing that I judge everyone, even people like me, and I'm not going to get very far doing that, am I? A few months ago I made an effort to get to know one a girl I've had quite a few classes with, even though I thought she was way too pretty and cool to hang out with me (lord, I sound like I'm in middle school!) - we're really good friends now - turns out she's a silly, nerdy, wann-be accountant just like me, even though she's gorgeous! And I was kinda nervous about talking to her, but it turns out she wanted to get to know me but was scared of me because I always seemed really aloof - ouch! It was good to hear, though, because I figured I just came across quiet and unasuming... Glad to know you were once like me too, and were able to get past it - there's hope for me yet! This isn't an easy thing to admit - no one likes to come out and say they're not accepting of other people, so I appreciate that you guys are supportive - you make me want to change even more so I can have more people like you in my life - thanks!
A Bonus of 3FC
