I'm FED UP with my husbands jealous behavior. He's threatening to beat up old boyfriends, says I'm cheating on him CONSTANTLY and is to the point that he wants me to stay in the house ALL THE TIME!!! Has this happened to you?? What do you do, anything?? We've been married almost 5 years, this is the thinnest I've been since I was 16 and he's freaking out.
The only advice I can give is to hold your own with him. If this has started and only escalated, the issue lies with him and not you. It says something when he has problems with your improvement rather than supporting you in your venture.
I would get tough. Lay it down and ask him to seek out counseling. Ask him why he feels that way, and why his trust in your has disolved with your fat. I know that it's hard because you're married, but I would tell him that you do not deserve to be treated like property and will not tolerate it from him. You are so worth it.
This sounds like it could be a really bad situation, so stick to your guns and take care of yourself. If he refuses to give you answers, he already did with out meaning to.
I hope this helped, if anything know that we got your back if you need us...and that the whole lot of us will be thinking of you. I know that some of the others will be able to give you more advice than I can..
I would flat out ask him, "If you don't trust me after 5 years, then why are you still married to me?"
This question isn't meant to lead to divorce, but his answer (or lack of one) could be insightful. It sounds like your husband has some growing up to do and I do think that some marriage counseling could really help. If he could agree to just one session it would show that he's willing to make an effort to make your marriage stronger (plus, one session sounds less frightening than committing to a series). I hope things improve.
Firstly, congratulations on your inspiring weight loss, 76lbs!
Have you tried talking to him and asking him what the really problem is? It sounds like he may be feeling a little insecure and just needs some reassurance. It is definitely not acceptable behavior from someone that should be supportive in your weight loss journey.
I agree with Rosie.....folks change when we do. When I lost 40 lbs & I was smaller than my little sister for the first time, she was very hateful. She told me that I looked "fat" in everything I would wear. She wasn't being mean to me (well she was) but she was insecure about her own weight gain & not being the Little sister anymore. Good luck!
I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I've been married for 23 years and I also have a jealous husband. It is very hard to deal with sometimes. My advice is to just sit down and tell him how it makes you feel when he acts like this and tell him you really need his support. Remind him how hard you have had to work to get where you are. Let him know that you are doing this for yourself and to be healthy for your family. When I sit down with my husband and seriously and calmly talked to him he "gets it" for a couple of weeks and then the "green eyed monster" sneaks back in and we have to have another talk. Good luck!!
Perhaps he needs some reassurance and tlc. If you over react and lay down the law, he may think your being defensive and have something to hide. He's in self protection mode because in his eyes your not the woman he married, your gorgeous, slim and successful, and he's feeling threatened.
later down the track if his behaviour doesn't change, you might try telling him that if he keeps pressuring you and treating you as if you are doing the wrong thing, what incentive is there for you to do the right thing?
I had four years of a complex relationship, where there was a lot going on, but constant fears of me cheating on him featured largely in his behaviour. In the end I had an affair, which I am not proud about, largely because I was being treated like a criminal constantly.
Lacey: In my 'vast' experience, most men do this for one of two reasons (there may be more, but these are the two I've come across): 1, they are cheaters themselves and are only accusing you of cheating or being unfaithful to take attention away from their own actions. I don't think this is the case with you, though. Your situation, due to the fact that you've been married for five years and have probably been together even longer and this seems to be a recently escalated problem, is probably an insecurity on HIS part. If he was a cheater, then he would have cheated when you were heavy and would be more likely to stay home now that you've become more...svelte. Possibly, your hubby is worried that some handsome man on a white stallion is going to notice you and sweep you off your feet. Men just have a hard time realizing that their choking behavior is going to chase a woman away instead of keeping her...no man on a white stallion required.
I would consider having your kids go elsewhere for an hour or so and have it out with him. This is something HE has to comes to terms with. You can help by letting him know that YOU know that HE has problems with self esteem and that he's not going to loose you because you are now a hottie and that he has to stop this nonsense or you're going to go insane.
Unless, of course, he's violent, then that changes everything. Then you should call a cop and get out.
My two cents...hope it helps.
EDIT: I made a mistake, saying the insecurity was on your part and I meant it's HIS insecurity...
Jealous husband advise please!!!
