Does anyone every feel like the dream of being thin is too far away ... not real? I used to be able to imagine it, but I can't seem to do that now. I start to and it seems so unbelievable that I really can't do it anymore.
I'm so upset that I have now put on MORE ... 2.5 pounds, and the weight just does not want to go away. (I was at one point 255) Of course I own responsibility for the weight gain. And the lasted weight cain is from when I went out of town with girlfriends ... who are thin and can eat like cows ... and I ate with them. I thought 'one weekend' and you know I paid the price. Sheesh... I think sure metabolisms are all different, but I wonder if it is taking them this long to remove the unwanted poundage from one weekend!?
As I type this I see how pathetic that title sounds, as if it 'happens' to me and I don't make it happen... I really can do anything I set my mind to, except this!! I've been 'fat' for 20 years. The other day I was thinking... what's the point in losing weight now, I'm too old (42) to really enjoy it. Sorry to offend anyone older, but the things that I have wanted to do, by the time I lose weight I'll barely get to do them. One really should not vent in this condition... I'm really in the dumps today.
Judith - I didn't lose the weight until the ripe old age of 47! Had I quit trying when I was your age, I would have missed out on the best years of my life. I'm having more fun now than I EVER have and wouldn't trade my life now for a million dollars.
I was obese for pretty much my whole life and never believed in my heart that I would ever be thin. Don't get me wrong, I wanted it more than anything, but never believed it could ever happen. Even when I started the last diet, I remember writing 'lose 97 pounds' in my journal and thinking, 'yeah, right, that will never happen' (see, 160 was the lowest I had ever weighed as an adult so I picked that as my dream goal - but ended up going lower).
So I broke it down into five pound goals. And vowed that I would not fail this last time. And guess what? Dreams do come true.
My dear, YOU can make your dream come true. It's entirely within your power and ability. And I guarantee you won't regret it, regardless of your age when you get there.
My parents are 62 and 63 and they are going to hike in the Rockies for the third time this summer. You have plenty of life left to live, so get out there and live it.
Judith,
Reading your post sounds like something I would write about myself. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. I have been on every diet and been on every diet pill out there, I have been to weight loss doctors and almost had the weight loss surgery. I bet I have lost 300 lbs over the years and shelled out thousands of dollars only to find myself gaining it all back plus more. My highest weight was 298.
I had to stop thinking about is as losing weight. I think about it as getting HEALTHY. Sure I still look in the mirror and think wow am I ever going to get rid of this fat. But then I have to say to myself (I talk to myself a lot hehe) no more blood pressure meds, no more hearing from the DR "if you don't lose weight you will be on insulin SOON.
I feel good and if I feel this good after going this far in my healthy lifestyle change then the rest of the journey can only get better. The only question I had was if I have to do this the rest of my life will I ? The answer was Yes.
Sure I go to weekly WW meetings, weight in and write down every bite I put in my month, but that only keeps me honest to myself. Don’t get me wrong, I do think about losing weight (I weight in every week) but if that’s all I thought about it would over whelm me. I am 42 years young and I feel like I am approaching the best years of my life. One would say wow 4 years on WW you should have been at goal many times, and they are probably right but everyone is not me. I do this for one person and one person only ME. I feel your pain and just want to say, everyone is a work in progress and in order for me to get this far in my journey I had to change my way of thinking. Here’s One of my favorite quotes …Live for the moment, but prepare for the future. You’re worth the investment in yourself!!
Don’t ever give up Judith just remember on your journey to get healthy you might even loss some weight.
I never ever thought that I'd be thin. I grew up fat, and my mother is fat. I could see myself turning into her, never able to escape obesity. In fact I believed so firmly that obesity was my destiny that I never even tried to lose weight, assuming I'd fail. I don't like setting myself up for failure, so I didn't even think about trying.
And now I weigh 166lb and have a healthy BMI, so what changed? Mainly my self belief. I set myself a very modest target to lose 14lb. It took a long time, because I lost about 10, put most of it back on and then started again, but I lost it. Then I tried to lose another 14lb, but more consciously this time. It came off a lot faster and I finally started to believe that I might be able to do this. I hadn't even considered my final goal by this stage, I just knew that I wanted to be lighter than I was. It was only after the first 30lb or so that I started considering what I should weigh, and realised the size of the task. But I only needed to do what I'd already done several more times, and by that stage I was happy with my routine and didn't see why I would give it up.
To be honest, a lot of the time I still don't think I'll ever be thin, even though I am, so a lot of it is mental and sometimes it's just best to ignore those doubts and do it anyway. You don't want to condemn yourself to failure before you even start, so just put the big goals to one side and focus on small goals that are more achievable.
You're right. You're not going to drop the weight without putting in the effort yourself. You also won't gain more weight unless you choose to.
Let's say it takes you a couple of years to shed the excess pounds, okay? What can't you do at 45 that you could at 40, or even 35? I'm 40 in a few months time, and I can honestly say I feel better now than I did at 30. I'm enjoying life much more despite still being officially obese, and having a couple more wrinkles.
Meg's suggestion of breaking it up into smaller chunks has helped me to not to get too caught up in the big picture of how much weight I still need to lose. If I make good choices whenever I'm able, I know the pounds will come off. I'm not going to wake up slim tomorrow morning, but one day I will be there. As has been said here many times, whether you lose the excess weight or not, time will continue to pass. Would you prefer to be 300 pounds or less than 200 at age 50?
If I never drop any more weight, I am in superior health (and look far better) than this time last year. That is what keeps me going. It can only get better, right?
I'm glad to hear you're not giving up. You can do it!
Last edited by DishyFishy; 02-21-2006 at 05:24 AM.
Judith...at least you are taking control of your life NOW! You are in NO WAY OLD!!! You've still got the rest of your life ahead of you, and I know once you start to see the pounds come off, you'll start to feel like that! Believe me, I'm only 19, and I kept thinking I was too old to lose the weight! LOL!!! How ridiculous is THAT?!?! If you ever wanna chat, rant or anything, feel free to PM me BTW, love the Lucy avatar. LOVE HER!
Judith...
I, like many of the others, totally understand where you are coming from. Nobody ever said that losing weight was easy.....actually...I feel like it's one of the hardest things I've ever done....but...believe me..it is possible!!!! I agree with not looking at the total amount of weight you need to lose...but rather look at it in little chunks. I have been doing this...and it's really helped me to stay focused and motivated. I first looked at getting my first 10 percent lost, then to Onederland, now instead of focusing on getting to goal...I've been looking at where my BMI is and how far I need to go to be overweight (yes..I'm sitting on the edge of obese versus overweight).
When I am feeling discouraged..I look at peoples weight loss sites......there are soooo many people...(including many here)...that have done such a wonderful job and look so great and so healthy....I use them as my inspiration to keep going.
I know it's easier said than done...but try to keep going. You are so young and have so much to live for...the best times are yet to be had. I've noticed in myself....since losing 70 plus pounds...I have gone from a shy, wanting to stay home all the time person....to the life of the party...LOL.....I don't think it's merely the weight loss....it's my new attitude about myself....that attitude radiates to people. I know I still have a long ways to go...but each pound I lose (which has been non-existant lately due to my plateau)...I feel more confidence,etc. I may not be the thinnest gal out there....I may never be that exact gal.....but I feel good about myself and I know I am a heck of a lot healthier.
I know I'm babbling..lol...I just want you to know that you are worth it and we are all here for you..k?
It is never too late. I am 37 and feel much younger now than I did when I was 28. I intend to lose another 20 or so pounds and continue living an active life and I will bet my very last nickel that I'll feel younger still by the time I'm 40. I missed out on some things because of my weight and I can't make up for lost time. But, by golly, I CAN make the most of the time I've got left. It is worth it, I'm worth it, and YOU ARE WORTH IT!
42? Gee I'm 50 (just turned) and I know what you mean. I sometimes wonder why it matters how fat I am? When I was younger I felt good in a slender body, but at my age will I ever have a chance to even look half as good?
On the other hand I have told myself that if I ever reach that goal. I'm going to do some things that right now I wouldn't even consider. For one thing I'm going ice skating. I loved it when I was a child, and this time I'm going to take lessons and learn how to do it right. Why not? Because I might break a hip? Yeah, I might, but I'm tired of telling myself I can't do this or that because I'm too fat. I'm going to get thin and then see how much fun I can have.
I turned 40 a week ago, having decided last summer that "I want to be healthier at 50 than I am when I turn 40." So, with that long term goal in mind (not just about weight but about health) I'm on my way. I honestly have no idea what it will be like not to be fat, so not only does the dream seem "far away" it seems completely unreal! Thus, I am not setting a goal to be thin but to feel better and be healthier. Somehow, that possibility is easier to envision.
You have the right idea wyllenn. We have to set our goals to be healthy. I've lost almost all the weight I need too and people say I look so thin. I've even had a couple say I look too thin. However I still feel like the same old fat person a lot of the time. I am still surprised when I see pictures of myself. Don't get me wrong sometimes I do feel thin. I will look in the mirror and just break out in a big grin because of my accomplishment. My point is we are always going to have those demons telling us we are fat or our nose is too big or any number of things. So just strive to be healthy and let the rest fall where it may.
Howie -- Based on the thread I started yesterday (having lost 65 pounds and still being so... fat), I can tell that getting (much less keeping) a mindset of being thin is going to be hard to achieve for me. I'm glad I have other goals as well to help me focus!
Being thin, is it every going to happen?
... and I ate with them. I thought 'one weekend' and you know I paid the price. Sheesh... I think sure metabolisms are all different, but I wonder if it is taking them this long to remove the unwanted poundage from one weekend!?
