[DollyR]

My boyfriend and I are seriously talking about getting married. We really want a child but we are both concerned about my age and weight. I am trying to work on the weight ....the age well....42 next month. Anyone out there in my shoes as far as starting a family at this stage in life? How about 100 pounds overweight?

Is it possible to do this without any problems for me or the baby?

Let me know.

[Jen415]

Wow--more power to ya for wanting to be a new mom at 42! My boyfriend and I talked about the same thing. For us, our carefree lifestyle would be seriously curtailed with a new baby. But if it happens, it is meant to be!

I would definitely talk to your OBGYN about it, especially with the other gynecological issues you have been facing lately.

For the record, I do know a few women who were in the mid 200's that got pregnant, one was 41. So...good luck!

[mabear]

hi Darlene

you might want to check out kmom's Plus-Size Pregnancy Website

I was 39 and started the pregnancy at 260 with my latest baby. We had no difficulty at all. Actually I ended the pg much healthier than I started it.

My advice is to hurry because of your age. Don't wait to lose weight. Find an OB that doesn't have a problem with your size. Sure your risks are a bit higher but you still have an overwhelming chance at having a healthy pg and baby.

good luck!

Catherine mom to 11
mabear's homepage

[synger]

Our difficulty was in the GETTING pregnant. Because of my PCOS (which is tied in with my weight) we had a terrible time getting pregnant. I was 280 lbs. and 37 years old when I finally caught. The pregnancy wasn't hard, really. I just ate healthier, and walked more often. I gained about 15-20 pounds, I think. My worst problem was edema, where my hands and feet would swell and feel tight. It wasn't life-threatening, but it was sure uncomfortable at times. *laughs*

It also got frustrating because they insisted on using the normal timing methods, when my periods have been few and far between for years. So officially Gem is a month early, but I (who knew exactly when my husband and I "did the deed") consider her pretty much on time. I did have a really long labor, and we ended up with a c-section. But it worked out well. Gem was born with a slight birth defect, and had to have surgery at six months. But I doubt it had anythign to do with my weight.

I second "Plus Size Pregnancy". They were my lifeline when I was TTC and later, when I was pregnant.

[DollyR]

I started reading through the plus size pregnancy site. It looks like it has some great links. We are still doing a lot of planning and I know we will have to concentrate on one thing at a time. I worry more about my age than anything else really.

[SherryA]

I was 37 when I gave birth to my last one (not my first thank goodness!). The danger as you get older is that your eggs are "stale". That can cause the baby to be born with Down's Syndrome. Not always. Plenty of times there are no problems at all, but with both my daughter born when I was nearly 36 and with my son born at nearly 37 they did genetic testing. They did an amniocentesis with my daughter, and then with my son they had a newer procedure that they could do earlier where they took a tiny piece of the placenta to test. These tests will tell you whether there are any genetic abnormalities to be concerned about. I wouldn't have aborted even if there had been, but it was still good to know there weren't any problems. I was overweight with both kids, but I'm not sure how overweight. My pictures after my daughter was born were pretty good. I looked much heavier after the birth of my son, but I can't remember how heavy. Just a couple of years before conceiving my daughter however, I had been going to the gym quite often and was in good physical shape as far as muscle was concerned.

[Stinger766]

Hello.

I had my first and only child 6 weeks before I turned 36. I was 312 when I got pregnant and gained 17 lbs during my pregnancy. (My dr has a policy that women who are obese are to gain around 15 lbs and not much more).
I had an easier pregnancy than most of my thinner friends and had absolutely no problem while giving birth either.

I have PCOS too, like someone else mentioned. I had difficulties getting pregnant (and staying pregnant) because of that, not because of my weight.

Good luck!

[goalnorolls]

I'm answering due to the plus size issue. Not to be cliche but age is a number and ultimately your body will let you if you can. I weighed 260 when I got pregnant with ds2. I had gall bladder issues mid pregnancy and just limited my diet and weighed 230 after he was born. He was fine and healthy because I limited high fats, anything spicy- basically ate very bland meals. But I ate healthy. I was more tired and slept alot. I am 5'4" and he weighed 8lbs 5 oz so it was quite a number of my body.

[SherryA]

Liz, age is not just a number when it comes to becoming pregnant. Did you know that a girl child is BORN with all of her eggs in her body? Those eggs age, and that IS the big danger for any woman when she is older, and becomes pregnant. Not for her, so much but for the child. There are also potential health problems for the mother, but it isn't "just a number." There is risk involved. Down syndrome is not always a pleasant thing to deal with for a parent. It tends to happen more when the mother is older than when she is young. I've known women who had Down Syndrome children, and there was mild ******ation in the children as well as strange facial features.

Certainly do some research and determine if it is worth it to you before you risk it. You might want to ask your doctor too if he advises against it, what he thinks the odds are etc.

[lulu777]

I did it. I am 45 and I have two children, ages two and four years old. Yes, that's right, I had them when I was 41 and 43 years old. I conceived naturally. I chose not to have amniocentesis. I went through a lot of soul searching and did research on my own using the library's medline database search. I decided that I was comfortable having blood tests combined with second level ultrasounds.

This is a highly personal decision, but I would say to go for it. If you feel called to have a child, do it. I suggest that you check out Mothering Magazine's fertility and pregnancy forums for all kinds of support and information on this topic. http://www.mothering.com.

Don't fear Downs syndrome. I went to the local Association of ******ed Citizens and met the real life parents of children with Downs. Those parents felt they had been blessed by their children. I would not worry about the "strange facial features" as described by a previous poster. The concern I had was about the surgeries that some babies with Downs must endure... and they told me that they would not be able to determine the severity of the downs or the possible medical problems with downs from the amniocentesis.

BTW, I used a clearplan fertility monitor and got pregnant on the first attempt! That was after trying with OPK sticks for six months. You can buy them cheap on ebay.

I recommend the book by Niravi Payne "The Whole Person's Fertility Program" which has all kinds of information about our prejudice against older women having babies.

[ladylane06]

I wanted to chime in. I'm 44, I had my first child athe the age of 21 and my last, # 4, at the age of 41. When I began the pregnancy I was 270 lbs.... I gained a whopping 5lbs. during the pregnancy and baby weight 5lb. 3oz.

But more to the point... as mentioned by others, age becomes an issue and certain risks increase, namely, genetic defects or difficulty conceiving, especially if this is your first child. You can have genetic tests done as early as 11 weeks into the pregnancy, I did! The test is called CVS (Chorionic Villos Sampling). They take a small sample of tissue from the placenta. My results came back and I was told that I was having a boy and it also showed trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome). All I knew at that point about Down Syndrome was that meant my baby would be mildly or severely ******ed. My OB/GYN suggested the testing because he felt at that point it would be early enough to abort if defects were found. While waiting for my results, I made up my mind that abortion was not an option for me... I already loved my little bean. I agree with lulu, that Down Syndrome is nothing to fear... but admittedly, my opinion is biased.

Although my son has DS he was born "healthy"... in that, he had none of the problems or known defects associated with Down Syndrome.

No one hopes or dreams they will have a child with DS... I didn't but I educated myself, and found my knowledge of Down Syndrome was very outdated! I soon learned that people who don't have personal, or daily experience with DS don't give the best advice... even, my OB/GYN decided (and for no other reason) I was "high risk" because of the CVS result and "referred" me to a high risk OB. He implied I should abort and gave me phone #s to clinics.... I'm so glad I did not listen to him. I'm sure this does not apply to most OB/GYNs, but this particular one painted a really bleak picture. The genetic counselor and new OB said there was nothing high risk about my pregnancy.

My best advice would be to research, research, research. Everyone's situation can be different.

I also agree that this is a highly personal decision.
You have gotten and will get various responses, but the decision will be yours.

If you're interested, PM me, I can give you a link to a group of over 40 moms... this is a group of women trying to conceive, are pregnant or have given birth after 40. They were a big help to me.

I wish you luck in whatever you do!

My little angel Isaiah...

[AngiKL]

And, don't forget the adoption option, while you are looking at your choices.

We are blessed beyond belief by our little boy!