[Italynette]

I'm so glad I ran into this site. This may be my road to becoming healthy again!

A little bit about me.

I'm 5 foot 8 inches tall. I'm 35. I am married and have one 10 year old son.

My weight loss/gain story:

Gained 30 pounds in 1990 ( I was 20 )after going to college.
Went on Nutrisystem and lost most of it until I had to stop because I had my gall-bladder removed during the process.
Started weight training and working out religiously for 4 years straight.
Was at a healthy 155 lbs until I became pregnant and going to the gym made me feel like I was going to pass out. I was naive while pregnant and ate poorly, gaining over 60 pounds with my prenancy.
I was 236 when I gave birth. I never got back on my workout schedule.

I have done cabbage soup, weight watchers, Atkins (lost 23 lbs and then gained it all back and then some), smoking (yuk), redux, metabolife and phentermine, (lost 40 lbs on phentermine and then gained some back, I use it at times as my way to lose here and there but I know it's dangerous)

I've been in and out of the gym occassionally over the last 5 years, never being consistent.

My job is stressful and I've ended up on anxiety pills, anti-depressants and have ridiculous migraines. All in the last 10 years.

My husband doesn't touch me at all like he used to. I am an amazon woman next to his 5'9", 160 pound body. It's embarrassing (for him and me). I've survived a full-blown affair that crushed me to the point of suicidal thoughts. (his infidelity, not mine)

I finally came to better grips with my weight after taking phentermine, my self-esteem bounced back up and I felt good and healthy without all the added weight. However, Phentermine is a short-term fix and gets to a point where your body doesn't respond anymore.

Well, I'm back to 235 or so (don't want to get on the scale at this point). I wear a size 20 pant and I HATE it. I would be totally satisfied if I could even get into a 16 and STAY there.

I need other solutions. I know what I SHOULD do.. Work Out, Eat right, etc. etc., but can't seem to find the time without comprimising time with my child/family or I'm just plain tired from my stressfull job when I get home. I sometimes find myself working 60 hour weeks. I don't have a choice right now. I don't have time to find another job or interview. I'm trying to sell items on Ebay for extra cash. I'd like to do that full time eventually so I can stay at home and volunteer at my son's school, possibly have another child before my reproductive organs are too old and do my artwork.

I would have lap-band surgery in a heartbeat but I'm at BMI 35 with no threatening complications so my insurance won't cover it. I'm going to research lap band in Mexico and see what I can find. Any and all feedback is welcomed!

I'm really a pretty positive person. I just need to get the weight under control and be consistent. I know it's a long road.

That's why I've decided to join this forum/site.

I need all the support I can get.

Thanks for reading my NOVEL and I look forward to meeting many wonderful people here.

Sincerely,

Carolyn

[sag123]

Hi Carolyn! I understand howyou feel, but I don't think going to Mexico is the answer. You can do this. I have lost 8 pounds this week by eating well. Here is what I am doing
Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs , an apple
Lunch :WW meal, yogurt, cucumbers
Snack: carrots or sometimes a tall nonfat vanilla latte from starbucks
Dinner a bowl of cereal (1 cup measured out with a table spoon of flax)
Snack: fruit or popcorn

It is a hard journey and I especially understand the anxiety/depression issue. My 16 month old might be autistic so I am having a hard time too.

Feel free to PM me.
sonya