[wannabeskinnylady]

I am not expecting anyone to have the answer, rather I could just use a bit of support.

I have lost 31lbs this year which should be this huge accomplishment, and in many ways it is. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy to have lost the weight. It's just that now I am more self-conscious than ever. I feel really big, bigger than I have in months, yet I weigh less than I have in years. It is like the more I lose, the harder I am on myself. I feel like a friggin cow. It is not that I look at people larger than me and think they are cow-like. Nope. It's just me I think of as the cow.

Anyway, was just wondering if anyone else can relate to this or if I am totally koo-koo.

[colsnanny]

I totally understand. I have been dealing with the same things. I have also lost about 30 pounds but I feel bad. I feel depressed. I think it is very hard to decide you need to lose weight and kind of turn on your bodies than lose weight and suddenly you should feel great just because the scale has gone down. It goes back to the old saying that money can't buy you happiness but neither can weight loss. It is very hard to see your new self. Body image is very hard to chnage. The only advice I can give you is it keep it up and you will get used to it and feel better soon. It has gotten better with time for me.

[beachgal]

SkinnyLady, this is totally normal!!! I just want you to know that...you might want to post about this in the Maintainer's forum and get their perspective. They'll tell you all about body image and the work you have to do in your head to match the work you are doing on your body.

I went from feeling incredibly skinny after losing about 50 pounds because I was so much smaller than I used to be, to feeling really fat after losing about 100 pounds because I was so much bigger than I wanted to be! How crazy is that? But it's honest...and we really do have to work on seeing ourselves as we are and not in comparison to our old selves or our selves-to-be or to anyone else, for that matter. It's hard to do!

One thing that helped me immensely is focusing on getting healthy rather than just on losing weight. Then, even on my 'fat days' I could still think about the change in my cholesterol, the improvements in my various maladies, and how neat it was to be able to move my body in ways I couldn't before. Working out does this for me, too. Seeing that I can lift a heavier weight, that I can get through a Jazzercise routine without feeling that my head will pop from overheating, or that I can do yoga poses now because my fat isn't in the way, helps me feel so much better about my body and myself.

You might want to read a fabulous book: "Passing for Thin" by Frances Kuffel. She talks quite a bit about this issue and how she dealt with it while losing more than half her weight. The book is hilarious but has tons of truth at its core. I really, really enjoyed it!

Another issue here is that losing weight doesn't guarantee happiness, and it DEFINITELY doesn't take away anything that was bothering you before! In fact, I liken losing the weight to melting the ice off of things after winter. You just reveal what was there before and bring it to the light! Your problems, issues, and feelings are now exposed and hard to pretend away. You have to deal with them and find a way to do so without overeating (which didn't work anyway, did it? They're still here...). I know that therapy has helped me immensely in this area. I knew that losing my weight wouldn't guarantee a pain-free life, but I was still stunned when I came this far and didn't find my life easier. It's hard not to feel that when you change this much, your life should too...

for you, SkinnyLady, and for CE, too. It's a hard journey, but at least we're here to get through it together, eh?