Well I thought I would introduce myself and my story and why I need support...he he he
here it goes
I have been overweight since I was 4 or 5 years old, it has gotten progressively worse over the years due to anxiety and poor eating habits, already having asthma since birth my asthma became severe at age 13, at that point i was wearing a size 18, from then on until 2 years ago (i am 25 now) they had me periodically taking steroids which also make a person gain weight....
I gained weight the summer before my freshman year and was in and out of the hospital all summer with asthma, by the time school started i was maybe a size 20/22, i lost weight in my mid high school years due to beig on the swim team and maybe got down to a 16 or 18 again then by the end of my senior year had gained it all back and then some an was appx a size 22/24
after high school i did various desk jobs and began smoking which made my asthma worse hence more steroids and by the age of 19 i was up to a 26/28 which i maintained losing and gaining little in the same range until I was 20
between 20 and 23 i had managed to attain a size 32/34 and now am at the same weight appx (sorry i do not know pounds)
i married when i was 23 to a man i thought had accepted me as i am, at the point we had been married a year and a half he told me he wanted a divorce, he didnt specify things about me but as the reason for the divorce but his own health condition, he has terminal lung disease...
he had made me very very unconfident about myself by every month or so mentioning my weight but in the "i just want you to be healthy" way
He always told me I was attractive and pretty but I was always nervous around him because I told him several times that I didn't want to discuss weight with him and was upset he brought it up...it's nothing at that time that I was ready to deal with....
about a month before he told me he wanted to divorce i had started a plan and began exercising, i had already changed my diet drastically than before i met him when we first got married...i no longer ate chips and fries everyday and burgers or pizza, i was eating tofu and rice and broccoli and whole wheat no mill no dairy and no refined sugars the whole time we had been married...
but it wasnt working i was eating too much so i started to reduce my portions also once i adjusted to the healthier foods, just when i got everything figured out he tells me about the divorce
i ended up finding out recently this last 2 months, (we r still in process of divorce) that he had never really been passionately attracted to me and had married me wanting me to be skinny and thats pretty much why he had been so pushy with weight loss the last 2 years.....
i was very upset about that and told him this would have been nice to know before i married him so that i could have a choice instead of getting ultimatums now, i told him i marrried him as he is sick and all and that weight is a very hard issue with me that i need my time to work it out...i told him even after we married if he really really had a problem he should have sat down and said "this is what i want and its really affecting me"..... when i told him this he said what was i supposed to say?? hay big fat woman lose weight!!
needless to say i have had a hard month and am still trying to be good all through this...he says if i dont lose weight he will leave or cheat, i told him if he really loved me he would support me in whatever decision i take and that love should be unconditional especially when u married someone who already had a problem, i have stayed the same and even lost weight since i have been with him and he thinks i have changed nothing, he never like me from the beginning
also he says he is going to continue treating me badly until he sees i have lost more weight
i work 10 hour days and take care of him, he cannot work and is on oxygen all day. i married him because i loved him...i was engaged to an engineer before him and could have had a very happy life
i am just waiting for him to leave so i can restart my life but i need a supportive guy who can be like i love you no matter what, then i would be comfortable enough to enlist his help in losing weight, all i feel right now is that i am being judged, he throws out ianane things like fat people sweat too much and most of them are dirty and etc etc...im like hellloo??? u married one??? what the ****???
sooo thats my story and why i need support weight loss and a divorce whoopeeeeee
Safiyah