Hey y'all, I generally try to be all kinds of positive and not post pity party type stuff, but I'm feeling pretty blah tonight. My food is fine, my exercise could be better (it's been approximately 4 or 5 TRILLION degrees here for awhile and we have no A/C right now, so I've only had the wherewithall to work out maybe 3 times a week for the past month or so). Which is okay, at least I'm moving my ***, but it could be a lot better. And my food is fine, too. But I feel myself getting impatient.
I've been scale-obsessing, which I know is just setting myself up for a ton of disappointment. (We're talking weighing every day, first thing in the morning, period or not.) The numbers are going in the right direction, but I just feel really overwhelmed right now.
I just got a new job (go me! ) which I start next week. I won't have any time off between my present job and my new one, so I've been trying to pick up some new clothes here and there beforehand. (To clarify, I've been working in a very, VERY casual environment for the past three years or so. The only time I need grownup clothes is when I travel for work, and that's only a couple times a year. Everything nice I have is just plain worn out right now.) I think I've been to every friggin store in the Bay Area, and I just can't find anything that looks right on me. A blouse here, a pair of pants there, but for the most part everything's just bleah.
I don't even know what my point is, other than to vent and find out if anyone else has gone through this and what they've done to cope with it. I just feel like this whole process is going to take so long, which I'm more than willing to accept, but in the meantime I'm feeling remarkably unattractive and wondering how I let myself get to this point. I mean, I lost like 70 pounds once. I was a size 8, for the love of corn! And now I have to lose 150? WTF? How does someone just let themselves go like that? Apparently I didn't own a mirror for the duration of the weight gain. Oh wait, except that I did. Denial? Me?
The people who love me (my family, my boyfriend and my best friend) have been wonderful and supportive, which does help. But I'd love to hear from someone who's not as close to the situation and less familiar with my personal little brand of neurosis. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Bah, we all have these down times--the times when the reality of how different life is when you're overweight strikes and strikes hard. I have plenty of skinny little friends who can o to te mall and find a million perfect outfits in 30 minutes or less, whereas I can only shop in a few select stores, have to search for certain styles and certain fabrics...it's just a pain, and it's barely possible for me to find a dang pair of underwear that's just right in 30 minutes, let alone an outfit!
I had a similar crisis when I moved up here in November. My previous job was SUPER casual--I'm talking it was okay for me to wear my tie-dyed tee shirt and jeans to the office without a second thought. Then I got my real big-girl job for the multi-million dollar corporation--time to play the big-girl role in the big-girl clothes. I hit up Lane Bryant, Avenue, and Fashion Bug (not the greatest quality clothes, but usually can get good stuff on sale for cheap, so who cares if it falls apart in a few months?). I started out with only 3 pairs of pants, I think, and I just rotated them: black, gray, and khaki, so totally mix-and-matchable. I probably wore the same 5 outfits in rotation for the first month I worked here. The thing is, no one will notice but you! Unless you point it out, honestly, do you remember what everyone you work with wore on Friday? or on Thursday? Would you notice if they wore the same thing today? Odds are, unless there was something special about it, you don't remember. As long as you have a few mixable items, you should be good to go, and you can build up your work wardrobe as you go along, bit by bit. It seems like a daunting taks at first, but you really don't need too much to get started, plus something as simple as a v-neck t-shirt can be dressed up with a scarf or something. Be creative with what you already have, and you'll be amazed at how little shopping you actually have to do
I know it is frustrating--I get so sick of going in and trying on multiple articles of clothing only to find that one (or none!) of them look right on me. comes with the territory--just know that you are here, and are therefore taking the steps to lessen (and eventually eliminate!) this conundrum!
Satylite, I feel your pain! I remember impatience being one of my biggest obstacles throughout the weight loss. There for a while my journal entries every week were filled with frustrated vents and annoyance with this impossibly long process. I remember being completely disgusted with how I seemed to be working so diligently day after day, yet the pounds were coming off sooooo slowly. But they weren't really coming off all that slowly, I always had a good, solid downward trend, it just felt like it was taking forever. I remember thinking, ok, I've committed to this and I'm in it for the long haul, I "get it" now, so why does it have to take so damn long?
Unfortunately I don't have any magical words to take away your frustration, only that you WILL get there, it's just gonna take some time. Just keep at it day after day, doing what you know you must, and you will succeed. You've heard it before, you didn't put the weight on overnight, so it's not gonna come off overnight either. It sucks but it's true. Good luck and congratulations on the new job!
this weather and no a/c is enough to bring anyone down!
your posts certainly cheer me up. you'd think i didn't own a mirror for the last 7 years too. LOL
i hope you can find the clothes you need and congrats on the new job!
It can seem like a really long process but it really does go quick. Just look back on the past 2 years of your life and think how quick that went. Time just seems to go quicker and quicker and this too will pass quickly. I know how it goes with buying clothes it can be a pain but that too will become easier as the time and weight go by. Keep you spirts up and keep doing what your doing. You will get there.
Thank you so much for the encouragement. I really, really needed some of that today, and it helps to know I'm not alone in feeling all sorts of overwhelmed sometimes.
I know, for me, I can NOT weigh everyday - I know a lot of people do, but I just can't, I become completely obsessed with it and if I'm up a pound or two one morning, it throws my whole day off and I start thinking, "What's the point?! I'm gaining anyway..." etc I weigh once a week, the day changes, but always in the morning, naked Sometimes if I get an up weight that day, I'll weigh the next day and then not again for a week. You might try staying away from that scale for a bit and see if that helps!
I so feel your pain about the clothing thing - I'm really picky and I often can find a pair of pants I like and then have a hard time finding a shirt that is cut correctly to go with it! Ugh - it's so frustrating! Just keep looking - your wardrobe will come together! Jilly had the best advice so I won't repeat her!
I know, for me, it has really helped to set the mini-goal - 100 pounds is SO overwhelming - but, hey, I could lose 27 (only 10 more to go!)! I've never made smaller goals for myself before - maybe that was the problem.
Good luck - hang in there! You can do it!
btw: We used to live in Alameda (until 2002) - I worked in San Jose.
Feeling blue. Urgh!
) which I start next week. I won't have any time off between my present job and my new one, so I've been trying to pick up some new clothes here and there beforehand. (To clarify, I've been working in a very, VERY casual environment for the past three years or so. The only time I need grownup clothes is when I travel for work, and that's only a couple times a year. Everything nice I have is just plain worn out right now.) I think I've been to every friggin store in the Bay Area, and I just can't find anything that looks right on me. A blouse here, a pair of pants there, but for the most part everything's just bleah.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Sometimes if I get an up weight that day, I'll weigh the next day and then not again for a week. You might try staying away from that scale for a bit and see if that helps!
