[Blessed and Free]

Good afternoon all. I just got back from a meeting up north of Chicago, kind of a long drive for me. I agreed to pitch at the meeting (service is sliming) and after the other members shared. I came away questioning "What does abstinence mean to me?" I understand that it is different for every person so I wanted to throw the question out to all of you and how that you share your thoughts on the topic. I also wanted to share with all of you what abstinence is for me.
Abstinence is more than just sticking to my food plan (which is all I thought it meant when I was green in program). It's like this feeling, this centeredness that I get when my food is good and I am working the steps by using the tools. It's awesome! And you know what, some days I don't do what I set out to do. Some days I don't get to read the piece of literature that I was intending on, or making that outreach call or e-mail. And that is ok. It's about progress (for me via tiny baby steps) not perfection. Abstinence is a way of life for me today. And life today isn't perfect, I hit those bumps in the road (traffic, boss yelling at me, husband ignoring me, kids screaming, etc...). But for the most part, I honestly have nothing to complain about (at least not today).
So, please, I would like to know what abstinence means to you?
Thanks

[CackyDoodle]

Helpful post Steph I'm only 3 months in tomorrow, (not 3 months abstinent!!) and you've clarified something for me. I have had days, say lasts Saturday, when my food followed the food plan, but the next day I binged again. i have felt funny calling it an abstinent day when it was such a struggle and non-serene day.

After this aha moment you've just given me, I'm going to say that I got back to abstinence late last night, as a result of 3 days following my food plan... no, babystepping back to my food plan, plus lots of writing, reading, step-work (writing step four), meetings, calling/emailing, and finally the joy returned when I was talking to a newbie, who seemed to need a little help getting plugged in. (My favorite kind of service so far.) Seeing her openess and willingness, in spite of a certain struggle she's having, really encouraged me and restored my joy. And knowing that she was encouraged by me also helped.

it is such a relief to be in this serene, joyful place. it's like a switch flips. i'm so grateful that it is back. it took longer to hit this time and I knew it would come back if i would keep coming back. It will definitely help me to avoid the belief that "a binge day now and then won't hurt anything." Well, it won't really hurt my weight loss much, but that's the least of the benefits of this program.

[ellis]

Steph and Cacky, thank you for sharing.
I agree with both of you. I feel the same way... that abstinence is a state of mind... and it's like a flipped switch.
When I'm on my OP/abstinent path, I feel strong and very virtuous. As though nothing can pull me from my path.
Last night I was sitting with my family watching cozy movies. DH had picked up snacks for the kids, and they were munching away right in my face. I kept looking at the food and thinking that if I was just to take one bite, it'd all be over for me. There would be no stopping me from having a major binge. And how easy it would have been to succumb to that!
DH, who was supposed to be OP with me, started digging into the snacks. And there again, it would have been so easy to give in. Eating is one of the things my DH and I do best together.
But I just looked at him and thought, "I am focused! I am aware of the cravings, and I'm conscious of the consequences of giving in to them."
It's such an empowering feeling.

[Blessed and Free]

Ellis,
I totaly understand about your situation with DH. My first birthday in program my parents (who new I was in program and couldn't eat certain things) bought me a huge cake and instisted that I take in home with me. I put it in my truck, drove home and three it away in the outside trash can (God only knows what would have happened if I brought it in the house).
On the other hand, my in-laws got me a watermelon, chopped it in half and stuck a candle in it.
Even to this day I have to plan for myself, I cannot depend on others. This is my disease.
You can do this, you have the strenght to surrender and work your program to the best of your ability- for today.