[a5ftfury]

I feel trapped inside myself. My depression keeps getting worse and I feel almost co-dependent on some people to make me feel better. I am constantly jealous of everyone and everything and I'm never happy with what I have when I know I should be. Sometimes I feel that I may possibly be struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder. It's driving me into insanity and I don't know how long I'll be able to take it anymore. I feel like two + people under the same name.

I keep binge-eating and comfort eating anytime I get upset and it's like I'm dependent on food. I feel so uncomfortable around my boyfriend, I feel like he thinks I'm this gigantic whale but in reality, I know he loves me and doesn't care about my weight. I hate feeling self-concious but I can never start a diet without binging or messing it up. I really need help and I don't know exactly what I'm asking in this post. I guess I just needed to vent. Ugh I hate myself sometimes.

[marbleflys]

Hi there and welcome.....sometimes I also feel like my own worst enemy, I can self-sabotage faster than I could wolf down a bag of chips.

Don't hate yourself, recognize your self-defeating actions and find an alternative. Sometimes we need help to do this, sometimes we can do it ourselves.....I find that a journal helps me devise a game plan and I will re-read it to strengthen my resolve. Start small (drink an extra bottle of water each day and exercise for just 5 minutes, nothing that will overwhelm you)...add on when feel accomplished (example quit soda or butter or another fattening item, add on 2 more mins. of exercise). You'd be surprised how little changes add up and you can feel a small victory over taking control. At least this is what works for me.

Only a psych. can really dx. borderline personality disorder. People with this view everything through a different type of lens. They can be very self-distructive and usually can't maintain a normal relationship or finish ANY task, have difficulty at work, school and easily feel that people are out to "get" them, they do not take responsibility for their actions.....

good luck and come back to post often....the ladies here are wonderful!