Coming out of Lurking... - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Rika · 03-02-2005, 03:47 PM

Hi everyone!

I've lurked here for a while, and I finally decided I had something to say on another thread, and once the dam has opened, well, here I am.

I'm a recovering bulimic. I thought I was cured, but I wasn't really.

When I got pregnant (DD will be 3 in May), I put my ED "on hold." No more binge/purge, blah, blah.

I went to a nutritionist, started pre-natal yoga, and found myself a whole new way to obsess over my weight. But I was CURED.

The irony is, I had morning sickness all nine months. I had to be hospitalized for dehydration, I was so sick.

I decided God was punishing me for all the unnecessary purging I did before. I swore that I would quit forever if He would just let me have this baby.

He did, and I quit. Even when my husband left us 2 days after DD was born, I didn't do it anymore. No binging, no purging. No paying any attention to anything.

Of course now I'm 30-35 pounds overweight, and more importantly so out of shape I can't keep up with DD.

So I've started exercising again. (I'm still afraid to diet, though.)

I've been pretty good about not overdoing it on the exercise, but I WANT to. I wonder if that ever goes away?

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself, and say thanks. You are all such strong people and have really inspried me.

Rika

KatSLP · 03-04-2005, 06:38 PM

Welcome Rika!

ToniMarie · 03-07-2005, 04:25 AM

Hi Rika,

I am new too and I have been there too. I was SO smug in thinking I beat my ED in my teens that I never even saw that it wasn't cured, it had just shifted to its polar opposite. I had my first bout w/bulimia a little over a year ago and I have to say that I've never experienced such a powerful compulsion before (or since) that. It's like there was this huge uncomfortable something inside of me and the ONLY thing that would calm it was purging...no matter how disgusting, no matter how much wasted food, that was the relief.

I have only purged once in the last two months. I don't know why it stopped. It lasted for no more than a year and kinda faded out into just a plain old binge eating disorder. I am going back to a therapist/nutritionist tomorrow because I know that even though things are calm now, I sit on the edge of going back down that road. I NEVER want to lose touch w/the reality that I have ED again.

Thanks for posting and hugs!