Hey ya'll- Guess who's back from the edge of insanity???
I thought I'd give ya'll something to laugh at today being Monday and all.
I have been told that I should write a novel about my life. The truth of the matter is that I do not enjoy writing. Yes I know I went to law school, but I still do not enjoy writing. It is not what wakes me up in the morning and drives me to be a better person. However, I began thinking that if my novel brought laughter to the world; it would indeed be worth the struggle. So, to start off your Monday, I thought I’d give you a little chuckle and fill you in on the last few days of my life.
On my way to Roanoke, VA I calmly went over different subject matter in me head….convincing myself that I was stronger than this test. I knew that it was just a test, not an analysis of my IQ or ability to counsel legally. However, it is a bar to actually being official. Appropriately named the Bar I suppose. I listened to empowering music and by the time I had reached my hotel in Salem I was calm, cool, and collected. These are qualities I almost never display, especially at the same time. I checked into my hotel and proceeded to commence my last hours of review. As time and meals passed I was getting weary and decided to tuck into bed for the night around 9pm. Then it started.
At first it sounded like heavy footsteps from the room above me. You know the kind- that person in that upper dorm room had the night before a big final. I started paying more attention to this noise as it was erratic. Not normal footsteps, but running, jumping, crashing into furniture kind of footsteps. I figured the noise would subside. Why not? Kids can’t keep that up for hours. Suddenly around 10 pm it got louder. Not it was romp room. I thought there were ten West Virginian kids who had never been in a hotel room before. I imagined Little Johnny bouncing on the bed with his brothers Earl, Boddie, and Jr. Little Carla was doing cartwheel with Betty Jo and Lou. Maybe Mom and Dad went out for dinner at the BK next door. Maybe they’d be in bed soon. Again, I was wrong. By 11pm I stood up on the desk in my room and banged on the ceiling. Ahh calm… for two minutes.
Now they were doing this to spite me I thought. Maybe they are fellow bar candidates trying to wear down their competition. I called front desk and asked how many people were above me in room 326. The lady replied that only a couple checked into the Jacuzzi suite. Good God. It now dawned on me that that noise was not cartwheels. It lasted until at least 2am, where I finally just went to sleep out of sheer exhaustion.
Luckily the next morning they had checked out- hopefully at my urging. No matter, I was determined to do fabulously on these tests. Day one and two of the Virginia bar passed as they had in the past. Although I did take great joy in watching all of the rookies scurry around with two hundred #2 pencils and look shocked when the bar examiners wouldn’t let them bring in their lucky Buddha, water bottle, and granola bar they were accustomed to in law school. I gave advice to many assuring them that they would pass, knowing in the back of my mind that maybe half of them would. Poor souls.
I was now broken by the Bar examiners. They knew that I was their play dough. If they said jump, I’d first ask how high and then assess the liabilities attached to such a command. But it was done, finally, one way or another. Only one last leg remaining in this marathon- the Connecticut bar…
I had been studying for the Connecticut bar for roughly two months and truly enjoyed doing this. Not sure if this was my neurotic nature for learning new things or just the amount of caffeine I was able to inject into my system everyday. Really, they ought to limit some drugs. I proceeded to the Roanoke airport to catch my flight to Connecticut, not a huge task but a necessary evil to taking two different bar exams. I briskly walked in, as I was a girl on a very serious mission, and walked up to the United desk. The man took my id and grimaced.
“I’ve some bad news; we don’t know where the plane is.” This is some joke I thought. How exactly does an airline “lose” a plane? Apparently the plane that was supposed to whisk me away hadn’t yet arrived at Dulles to fly to Roanoke. Hmm. Keeping calm I asked how long the delay was. At this point they didn’t know. An hour later they didn’t know. I started thinking up plans B, C, and X (abort mission). The United agents feverishly tried to fit me onto any other flight going anywhere near CT. Nothing. Not only would I miss my planes, but the next flight from Dulles wasn’t until 8am the next morning. Precisely 30 minutes before I was supposed to be seated for my examination. I sat down on the luggage scale and began to explain to them again the thousands of dollars that I’d spent and the fact that if I didn’t pass a test, I’d lose my job. I broke down into tears, not the screaming session one would normally imagine. At this point the United manager decided to go eat dinner and told me to drive to CT if it was so important.
9.57 hours drive. I’d arrive there with just enough time to brush my teeth and some gas station. That is, if I was lucky enough not to drive off the side of a mountain from exhaustion. Then an angel appeared from the Delta desk- he could get me to Cincinnati by 10pm then to Boston at 1:30 am. I was told that United would take care of a shuttle or rental car from there. I was so overjoyed, I jumped behind the counter hugged the man and the one United agent that was remotely helpful. I was on my way. Of course, they wanted to mess with me a little more before I left and submitted me to a full second base security screening. This is when I love the fact that I’ve packed all of my underwear on top and the male agent had to pick each little lacy thing up and try not to blush. Occasionally I pride myself n being especially clever. Occasionally.
I made it to Boston airport and searched the entire airport for that magic agent to help me- no one was around- anywhere. Out of desperation I picked up a phone and picked a rental car company. Off I went, determined that after this was all over United would be giving me a free ticket anywhere. And they will- they aren’t aware of that just yet. I was booked into a Sebring convertible by 2:30 am and off I drove to CT.
As if driving through Massachusetts isn’t painful enough with all of the drivers from that state, I was quickly taken back to my years of driving a small car in Vermont. The rain and constant smell of skunk reminded me of what I had not missed. Around 3:30 am I remembered the joy of driving in New England- constant scanning the dark roadside for moose and deer. At this point I figured that a moose crashing though my convertible was going to be the end of me and on I drove.
I arrived in Hartford at 5 am and checked into my hotel. The clerk laughed when I said I wanted a wake up call in an hour. I did not find this so amusing. Just in case he forgot to call I set my cell phone alarm and hotel alarm and passed out. I suddenly awoke to sunshine and looked at the clock- 7:59. F*&^*. I have not gone through all of this to miss this test be sleeping in. I ran over to may cell phone and discovered that it was 5:59- I had inadvertently set the clock wrong. Well, now my heart was racing faster than a cocaine addict so I commenced getting ready.
The CT bar was set up the same way as the Virginia exam- long rows of tables with stressed out student searching for their assigned seat. I had a friendly table mate so we were off to a good start as she had a similar horror story from the NY bar and her hotel loosing power the night before the exam. As the instructions were given I couldn’t believe my ears…
“No extra credit will be given for knowing CT law…you can argue Federal law and apply your analysis….”
I’m sorry, what?!? Why exactly did I pay for CT bar exam prep materials? Why did I waste my entire summer learning new laws and statute of limitations? Why is this happening? After my brief mental tirade I began the exam. The first half went surprising well, I cruised off in my convertible during lunch, and returned refreshed for the afternoon session. The first question of the afternoon session was the sole reason I picked CT- an administrative law question. I loved this subject- I was so sure if I had this my world would be right. Ohh…but it wasn’t. I blanked. Then panic set in as they collect each set of answers every hour. Oh God- this can’t be happening I thought. I spent so much time being upset with myself that I am positive my performance decreased. The rest of the afternoon was a blur, only interrupted by proctors reading the paper and chatting in front of my desk.
It was over. As I drove around Hartford to wind down, I wondered what type of job I should start looking for and where I should move. But it was finally over.
VT
I'm Baaaack!
Great story, VT. I hope your results are good.
