This may be controversial, but I've been mulling it over so I'm going to post it. :-)
Last night at a surgery support group, we were talking about how some people think WLS is "the easy way out". Lots of folks bristled at that, and were getting angry. (I do believe the phrase, "who the F**K do they think they are?" was said more than once . . . )
Naturally, surgery is never easy. I have a friend (someone who I actually mentored while they were readying themselves for the surgery) that died from this surgery. But, then again, I've had more relatives die from obesity than have died from the surgery. So I guess WLS is easier than remaining obese.
And for me . . . I have to admit, having WLS was "the easy way out" in terms of method of losing weight, as well. I mean, I had tried other diet methods and failed. If I had continued "dieting", I have complete faith I'd be well over 400 lbs by now. I lost 82 lbs in the first three months, and 180 lbs in the first year, with relatively little effort. With other diet methods, I'd be lucky if I lost 30 lbs in 5 months before I gave up out of sheer frustration, hopelessness and deprivation. If it wasn't the "easy" way to lose weight-- if having surgery made it HARDER to lose weight than doing so via diet and exercise, NO ONE WOULD HAVE IT!!!
Sure, I had surgical recovery time of 3 weeks, and pain from the surgery, but I'd re-do the surgery every year if I needed to to keep the weight off-- rather than having to return to 350+ lbs and then "diet" my way back to my current weight. ****, if surgery would take off the 30 lbs of bounce I've had, I'd do it again for that. Diet and exercise SUCKS. ;-) And the surgery gave me HOPE for the first time regarding my weight and my life, and that made it infinitely easier than anything I had tried prior.
And then I got to thinking . . . since when is "the easy way out" a negative thing? Why do people think we are less deserving of praise because we took "the easy way out"? Isn't it something miraculous that we love ourselves enough to do what we need to-- despite, sometimes, what our friends and loved ones and the general public may think of our decision-- in order to take care of ourselves? We're easier on family and friends than we are on ourselves; I try to make my husband's life "easier". Why do others view it as a negative when I try to make MY life easier, and why do we shame ourselves and react in rage when people tell us that we've, in essence, been NICE to ourselves? I think the next time someone tells me I took the "easy way out", rather than becoming defensive and having to "protect" my decision, I'm going to tell them, "YES! I did! I loved myself so much that I chose the medical treatment necessary to cure myself of morbid obesity. The hard way didn't work, and left me at risk of death from my condition every day that I remained obese. Why keep fighting when I could be kind to myself, take 'the easy way out' and have some success?"
I wonder what the detractors would say to that. I imagine it might change their perspective a bit, or at least give them something to chew on.
I don't think I would have come to this realization at a year out. I think I had to get to the point I'm at (nearly 3 years out, and struggling to lose 30 lbs of "bounce" weight "the hard way"-- via diet and exercise and battling head issues) to think of it in this way. I understand that there are people out there who have not had as smooth a journey as have I (my only complications are chronic GERD as a result of the surgery, and iron deficiency anemia), and may indeed have had months and months of recovery. I'm not addressing that when I talk about surgery as "the easy way out", because I think that the majority of people who say that to post-ops are saying it in reference to the weight loss.
Just my two cents-- take and do with it what you will.
Thank you so much for writing what you did. You have echoed my thoughts much more eloquently than I ever could have.
For me, compared to the struggle of dieting for years and years and losing and gaining for years and years wls for ME has been a heck of alot easier. I get results, I have hope. What a joyous thing. Of course with that said, I realize that for others it is not easy. They have physical complications and head issues that are not easy.
Meg said, "It is all hard no matter what we do." I have to agree with that at this point in my wls journey. I am 8 months out, safely in onederland for the first time since I had my babies. I can exercise and be somewhat happy while I am doing it. BUT I have to watch what I eat and my total calorie intake or I will not lose any more. As been said a gazillion times before...wls is a tool. I thank God for the tool even though now I feel that I am back to diet mode. That's ok, I've come to the conclusion that I will be in diet mode for the rest of my life. I don't mind being in diet mode now 'cause it IS a heck of alot easier (for me) with the tool than without. I can move. I can breathe. I can be satisfied with reasonable amounts of food.
Heather, no one has actually said to my face, that this is the easy way out. To someone who has had the surgery I think it would be an interesting conversation, like the one we are having. BUT, to someone to say that who hasn't had the surgery I think I would, quite frankly get a bug up my ***. Sort of the same way people may comment about my spinning autistic kid while their "perfects" sit on the side lines. They have absolutely NO concept of what we go through.
I been lucky as well. No complications, so at times I do feel as I took the easy way out! Then I think, easy-- no it still takes work and determination. It is most likely the most sucessfull! Someone dieting, can take a break, and eat a candy bar, or cheat on the diet when they want. We can not! If we do we pay the consequences. So is this really the easy way out? or is it the most responsible way! We took the problem by the horns, and addressed it, with full determination to keep it off!
QUOTE: "Someone dieting, can take a break, and eat a candy bar, or cheat on the diet when they want. We can not! If we do we pay the consequences. So is this really the easy way out?" :END QUOTE
See, this is one way in which I think surgery *is* easier. Those "breaks" and then trying to get back "on track" are the things that make regular diet and exercise more difficult than surgery. I was so happy my first year that I could not take a break . . . and I'm STILL happy that eating too much sugar (although the amount I can eat has increased a bit) makes me sick to my stomach, because knowing that makes it "easier" to pass up that food item that it was when I was dieting BEFORE surgery. Before surgery, on diets, if I wanted to I could take a "break" from that diet 4-5 times a day . . . Hungry? Eat a pizza. Sad? Have a chocolate bar! And the weight continued to rise. And I continued to become sicker, and more hopeless.
And, as you get further out from surgery, you will be able to "cheat" on this eating plan, as well. Once I was able, post-op, to "take a break" and cheat, well . . . then the game changed. To be honest, I wish that, as I've gotten further out, I still couldn't take a break. Now, if I want to I can graze all day. I can eat a whole candy bar (ones with 25 grams of sugar or less) in one sitting . . . and then repeat that action 3-4 hours later. I'm back to the same "hard" way of diet and exercise . . . calories in must be less than or equal to calories out . . . This is why I'm back to weight watchers.
These 30 lbs are the toughest part of my journey . . . and I'm having to resort to plain ol' diet and exercise. It sucks. :sigh:
BUT . . . even though it's tougher to use diet and exercise, actually . . . using diet and exercise NOW is "easier" than it was pre-op. 30 lbs is more manageable than 200 lbs. And with a smaller stomach, I can eat less and be full-- before surgery, I NEVER felt full. So, in a sense, surgery has even made the "harder" act of diet and exercise "easier" for me. Isn't that odd??? I suppose that's an entirely different subject altogether.
Your right about that break, in dieting often increasing in times, and harder to get back on board! I am only 6 months out, and have not eaten anything with sugar , syrup or like in the first 6 ingredients. I have found some sugar free candy, I do like, but over eating them can cause loose stools, so I watch how much of that I do eat. I have been very careful not to eat too far off my diet. I guess I am scared of having a reaction to sugar, but I think I like that fear. I don't crave any high calorie foods. Too scared! LOL.
DB-- I went for my first 6 months without sugar, and then I just "tried" it to see what would happen. BIG mistake. Keep avoiding it if you can. Sugar's not the best for us anyway, and if you find out that you DON'T dump (studies show only 60% of post-ops DO dump-- my husband, who is also post-op 2+ years, has never dumped a day in his life), then you'll just want it all the more. I think that first bite of sugar was the biggest error in judgement I've had since having surgery.
Hope you don't mind if I chime in, but I don't think its the "easy way out" personally I give you all credit for undergoing such a scary procedure. When it comes to weight loss there is NO easy way out, its all a struggle no matter what you do. Jiff has taught me many things about the surgery that I never knew and quite frankly scares the crap out of me because I too was considering having it. I've read many times in her posts what she has gone thru and others as well and I can can't imagine anyone even considering calling it "the easy way out" OY VEY!!!
But I guess only people who are not educated on it would say that.
You all get a major bravo from me and all the respect one can have. You are an inspiration to me
Love yah's
(hope this made sense, I suck at writing how I feel & think).
"The Easy Way Out"
