[Stacey2]

I don't know why - but I feel very fat today. I caught a glimpse of myself at a bad angle and now I'm sooooo down in the dumps!

I have to go see my family in November. They live in KS and Arkansas, so I don't see them very often. I hate for them to see me looking like this!

I have 3 sisters and a brother. All 3 of my sisters fit quite easily into size 1 jeans. My brother and father are georgous. My mom is just a tiny little thing - though she's put on a lot of weight since she became severely disabled (she's like a size 7 now - GASP).

My entire life I was just as beautiful as the rest of them. And now - I'm ashamed to show my face! I actually went 3 years without seeing them because I was so ashamed. Of course they would never say anything. Most of them anyway - my dad just says "Stacey have you stopped running?"

I really hope I don't run into my ex-husband while I"m there.

I wish I would just get the weight off and keep it off! Why am I so weak????? I got down to 124 lbs a few years ago, when I lost about 70 lbs. This time I want to get down below 110.

I'm on day 7 of the South Beach diet. 3 lbs off. If I lose 50 I'll be as small as the rest of the family

[ellis]

Stacey, I'm sorry you're feeling crappy. I know it well... I feel the same way when I visit with MY family. I used to be the slim one, and now my sister is fit and beautiful, and I feel like the fat fairy godmother.
Just be confident. You know you're losing weight and you WILL be slim again! Don't let them think you feel inferior. Hang in there, hon.

[Stacey2]

Thanks! I know I can do it. I did it once. And one of my sisters gained a lot of weight at one time and lost it, and has kept it off. If she can do it, so can I!

I think I can I think I can I think I can I think I can

[sflake]

I can relate I am the "fat" one in my family. Funny thing is I felt fat when I wasn't Hang in there Stacey2 you can do it. Your just having a bad day, we all have those once in a while....But remember they love you for you not your fat or skinny self.

[twodogmom]

Wow, I can so relate with this thread, in a couple of ways.....

Stacey, I know what you mean about catching yourself at a bad angle!! I've been feeling good about myself these past couple of months because I've lost 21 pounds so far, and was thinking that I was looking pretty darn good (even though I still have 50-60 left to lose). Well, two weekends ago I went to visit my sister to see her two new horses, and we went riding. My niece took pictures of us and emailed them to me. I look awful!! I don't look the way I was picturing myself in my mind. I was expecting to look better than I do in those pictures. I'm trying to look at this positively....meaning.....this should be good incentive for me to stay on track and move forward with losing the rest of the weight that I need to lose.

And speaking of families, I too am the "fat" female in my immediate family (I say immediate because I have aunts and cousins who are heavy). My sister and Mom are both thin. One of my brothers is built bigger, not fat but just big.....like a football player (not the jiggly kind but the in shape kind). My other brother is a little heavy, but not grossly so.

Stacey, don't beat yourself up about being "weak". You're human. Just try to hang in there, continue to come here for support, and stay away from mirrors and cameras!!

[Stacey2]

Thanks Twodog and Sflake! You're both so supportive and sweet!

You know - I hate cameras and mirrors. Before I lost that 70 lbs, I really didn't realize I was obese. I thought I was just a little "pudgy". Then I saw myself on video tape and went into a deep depression. I was just bawling my eyes out. My mom kept saying "Stacey - you know people always look worse on camera! It's not that bad!" But I could see that everybody else looked exactly the same in person as they did on film. So I knew that was what I really looked like.

Whatever happens - I just pray nobody catches me on video for a long time!

[jenyne]

Stacey, I really feel for ya. I know how you feel when no matter what anyone else says, YOU KNOW what you look like. I go thru this alot....but I am optimistic! And personally, I would be happy to see 155, I haven't been there in years. My goal is 139. YOU CAN DO IT!! Here's a hug to get you thru today!
jenyne

[1busymomma]

(((((((((((((((((stacey))))))))))))))))))))))))

Been there and still doing that, you CAN do this. We all have our days and moments when we get down in the dumps, but if you have resolve and the will to do it, it will get done.

You are gonna look awesome next month!!!

[Jenny91638]

I've gotten beyond this feeling, maybe it's because I'm 65 yrs of age, maybe it's because I've finally learned I'm just as worthy as my skinny relatives.. but my problem now is this, I have a son who is doing exactly what you are doing..not coming home because he is fat. Doesn't he know I'd rather see him fat than not see him at all? He is my son. I love him and want to spend time with him.

Jenny

[Stacey2]

You all are so great - you make me feel so much better! Thank you sooooo much!

[LADY WINDSONG]

Stacey,

Write yourself a letter.

Telling all about you.

Put in LOTS of good things about yourself, your life, goals and accomplishments.

I bet you will see that you ARE beautiful.

Write about your feelings.
Look into what makes you the most unhappy.

List pro's and cons.

Find what really "eats" you and starts you on this downward spiral.

Make it as long as possible.

Read it ten times.

Then burn it, shred it or tear it into a million pieces.
Say farewell to it.

LET IT GO.

Breathe.

Now carry on with this good feeling.

You CAN and WILL do this.

Lady