I'm back :\
I'm back.
I'm back, and with my metaphorical tail tucked between my legs. One of my last posts on this forum was 11 years ago (honestly impressed that I remember the password from that long ago) and it was my "Goal Post" about losing 37 pounds. I went from 167 pounds to 130 pounds in the span of about 3 1/2 months. It was February of 2008; I was 21 and preparing for my wedding in just a few short months.
Ladies and gents, a lot has happened since that goal post 11 years, 9 months ago. A LOT. I've been married (to the man I was engaged to when I made my Goal Post), divorced, pregnant, abused by my son's father, homeless, jobless. It's been a rough 11 years, guys. The only thing I didn't resort to was an addiction to drugs or alcohol. Otherwise...guys, I've been through so much. Just name it, I've been there.
During the rough patches, I never once worried about my weight. It's amazing what having no money and constantly being stressed will do to you. I hardly ever ate, and when I did it wasn't very much because I was constantly stressed. I was far under my goal weight of 130 at various points during my rough patch, but not by choice. I spent many days and nights feeding my son and going hungry myself. That wasn't where my weight started being an issue.
The last few years have gotten a lot better for me and my son. About 4 years ago I met my future husband. We started dating a few months after that and within 3 years we were engaged, and then married less than 6 months later.
This is when my weight issues came back to haunt me. These last 3 years or so. I don't blame my husband, not at all. But I definitely got "happy fat". But to exacerbate that I also started working a second job to try to make ends meet. I ended up just eating quick junk food between jobs and candy to keep my energy up. I didn't have the time to cook a healthy meal very often and finally had money to eat again, so I took full advantage of that. I gained weight again. A lot. More than I ever did before and was horrified when I stepped on the scale at the point I decided to make the change.
So, here I am. I'm married now; but not to the man I was engaged to when I hit my goal weight 11 years, 9 months ago. I've been through some stuff and I'm a different person than I was in February of 2008. I'm not 21 anymore. I'm 33 now. I'm not 130 pounds anymore, or even 167 pounds like I was when I was at my heaviest in 2007. When I stepped on the scale a couple months ago I was 187 pounds.
Wow. 187 pounds. I couldn't believe it. The 'me' from 2008 told myself I would never let myself get anywhere close to 167 pounds again, let alone 20 pounds more than that. But here I am. Life hit me hard for a while and I'm here trying to straighten it up and finally, truly be happy. In 2007 you all helped me get on track and were so supportive and loving. It was wonderful to have you all there to cheer me on and give me advice in the mean time.
So, here I am. I'm back. Please don't be mad that I'm back, but I need you now more than ever to help me. I want to finally be happy. 12 years ago ago when I started my weight loss journey I was 'fat' and getting ready to marry a man I didn't truly love. Now it's 12 years later...I'm 20 pounds heavier than my heaviest in 2007 and married to the love of my life. He's wonderful, and truly supportive of me doing what will make me happy and feel good about myself. So I'm here to do exactly that. I got my knight in shining armor...and now I want my happily ever after with myself.
I hope you all are willing to welcome me back.
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