[InMyDreams]

... I am moving as graceful as a ballerina. I do wear clothes I actually like and I breathe into my tummy because it won't stick out when I do. Which means I could actually sing better. And feel less uptight.
I imagine I would feel less physical pain because all that weight wouldn't pull me down anymore. I imagine I would feel like I could fly instead of carrying a big bag of stones around with me all the time.
I don't really care too much about looks, though. I mean, I'd like to feel good about myself again, which usually starts at around 71 kg (or lower of course, I am really short ). Currently I am 4-5 kg away from that line and struggling, struggling, struggling like never before.

[I'd like to add here I am not a native speaker, so if I sound weird or what I say is incomprehensible, please let me know how to fix it, I won't be offended but grateful!]

I came here from a long journey and I won't be able to tell it all, I would have to write a book and then sequels...
But maybe about the last three years. After many years of being overweight or obese (yoyoing) and reaching the scary "100 kg" line several times, I finally made my way down to the exact line (BMI-wise) between "overweight" and "normal", but never ever crossed that line, which really makes me think...
In the course of my weight loss journey I switched to "mainly vegan" (for ethical reasons, but I do have my weaknesses there :-/ working on it) and since then I had a hard time losing more or even maintaining (put on 4 kgs this year :-/). I don't want to blame it on the vegan diet, but I find it very easy to overeat this way - well I find it easy to overeat in any diet, but I didn't actually expect it to be that easy when you're eating vegan. Nuts, nut butters, legumes, grains, fruit... well.
I went "mainly vegan" two years ago and since then I tried water fasting, intermittent fasting, no sugar and many other concepts.
Right now I think I actually need other people around to ... I don't know, can you say "keep me accountable"?
I think I'll look for an easy way to create a blog where I'll just try and post my everyday journey.
Because right now I really don't feel good with myself. And I do have the power to change that if I am and stay committed. I know how it works, I did it before.
btw... I DO count calories for three years now. I'm not sure how you folks see that... for me I know I'd never have lost that much and I'd already be up to 100 kgs again because I always underestimate what I eat. It's just safer for me. Also I do have a chronic disease which makes my metabolism slower (proven) and also most times makes it hard to work out. So I do have to watch my "input"...

Hope that wasn't too much for an intro... Now I will be diving around here a little and have a look at your stories have a blessed day, everyone!

[ange82much]

welcome
it sounds like you've had some valuable experience with ups and downs in the past - I think most of us have to practice for a lot of years before we really know what works for us and can find something to stick with. And you are doing the right things already to keep in control. So! You're ready to start properly now!! Wishing you the willpower to have a real good permanent bash at this weightloss thing this time around. This is a great place for support - just jump on some challenges or forums that you think will be motivating.
I lost 30% of my weight last year up to June (calorie counting too), and have kept it off for a year, so i'm still learning how to stay here - but life is fantastic now and a massive difference for me - I promise you it's all worth it, and even fun once you get stuck in. Getting started is the hardest, but it sounds like you're ready!

[InMyDreams]

ange82much, thank you for the kind reply. Great you have been and still are so successful!
I started a blog six days ago... because I thought without "going public" even though it's anonymous and I won't give the url to anyone I know (posted it in my profile here though, but noone here knows me in person ) it usually helps to feel "watched".
I find that I don't have so much time at the moment to be in the forums a lot. I expected I could read and write more, but well, we'll see... bit by bit.
Have a great weekend!

[Wannabehealthy]

Hi Inmydreams. Most people here are battling similar problems. I suggest you visit some of the challenge threads. Others there can give you some incentive. I wish you success in your journey.

[InMyDreams]

Thanks a lot, Carol.
I hope I find more time soon. At the moment there's just so much going on.