[BabyMama37]

HI, I signed on a few years ago, and have to admit, I wasn't very good with keeping up with everything here. Or, with my diet.

I see my catch phrase is FIT BY 40. Well, I'll be 40 in a few months, so I doubt it will be by my birthday, but I am getting married in July and I would like to get fit by then, and I think it's possible, even if I don't reach my goal weight. I'd be happy with 160 by then, or, at most, 180. Right now I'm at either 228 or 238. I'm really not sure which, but I need to weigh myself. I just can't remember what the scale said at the doctor's yesterday. Plus, that was fully clothed.

I have a problem with my knee right now that is exasperated by my weight. Plus, I am short of breath and having trouble moving in ways I used to with ease.

Once upon a time I was anorexic/bulimic and had reached 110 in high school. I look at my teenager who is slim and fit and she weighs 20 lbs more than that. I have body dysmorphism, so I could not see that I was too thin back then. Now, I have the opposite problem, I don't realize I have gotten as heavy as I am. I still imagine I am a size 12 or 14 at most, not the current 20 I am starting to stretch. I don't see myself as I am in the mirror. Only in pictures, but then I don't believe it.

I'm in therapy, but we haven't really dealt with my weight issues yet. working toward it.

I once swore I'd never tip 200... but I am headed to 250 not.

I want/need someone to be accountable to, but I fear that it's too easy to hide stuff across the internet. or to drop off the face of the earth. I wish I could find someone in my area that I could buddy up with, but my schedule is a mess. I work 6 days a week and I spend hours driving on Fridays and Sundays. My time at home is limited because of kids, dinner, homework, housework, etc. I rarely get to relax before 9 or 10 at night, at which time I want to relax, not work out.

I know my biggest issues are lack of activity (I have a desk job), lack of time, and love of food. I know I need to cut down on my portions and I have gotten into a junk food habit as of late. I like my savory foods, not so much sweets.

I know the road ahead of me is mine, but I hope I can do it. I wish I had a buddy that is facing similar challenges. I've put on at least 40 lbs in the last year. I did start a new medication and I think that is part of it. But the rest is me.

[Lori Bell]

Hi, I'm glad you made it back. It's hard juggling everything, that's the boat I got myself into over the last few years resulting in a significant gain. I logged on yesterday and it said last time I had logged on was 2014 and my weight listed 170...Ugh, my lowest was 140 in 2010 Now...not so much!

Anyway, even with all the "stuff" life throws at you, just remember that you deserve to be healthy! We can get back to a healthy weight, and we will as long as we put our needs somewhere up in the front.

Welcome home.