I really do love my family - but just have to vent a bit. It's been six weeks, not six days (although not six months or six years) when are they going to stop fighting me to make small changes at dinner time?
Right now, it's like I am cooking two or three meals every night: one meal of nothing but vegetable-less white starches usually covered in cheese (cheese pizza, mac and cheese, chicken and white rice) for a teenager that is overweight (right at 200 lbs) and would rather eat dry ramen noodles than anything I cook that she doesn't already know she likes PLUS extra starches (like white rice or noodles) for my DH who fights veggies/ things that aren't fried and change in general (even though he also is nearly 300 lbs and has been told to drop his triglycerides by his doctor)
AARRGGH, we don't have to always have white rice - brown is ok! or half and half or just the food - beans are nice too, salad is OK and is an acceptable substitute for corn or green beans sometimes, sandwiches can be open faced, and potato chips aren't necessary, have a freaking carrot - just cut back a little, gradually - stop making me insane!!!!
.... and I know everyone is going to tell me to stop coddling my teen, that she is old enough to be encouraged to cook and maybe she will find things she likes that are healthy, but that hasn't worked - she won't even make a frigging grilled cheese and I have no idea why, I taught her for years starting in second grade - and I have have tried to encourage her to try lots of fruits and veg, and I do so every meal, but she will literally just eat the stupid dry noodles and then eat a whole pizza or something awful after a week of eating next to nothing and tell me to stop nagging and trying to control everything she eats
DH wants me to quit making so many changes to- so this is going at a glacial pace
The only strategy I have right now is that I won't replace anything sweet and bad anymore and am only buying fruit and frozen fruit bars. In a few weeks I am not buying anymore of those d**ned noodles either
My brother HATES vegetables. He will eat corn, he will eat peas, but that is it! all he wants to eat is pasta, pizza, fried things, or breaded things, lots and lots of soda and candy and chips.
He was not brought up on this food! at 15 he dropped about 3 stone in about 2 months to join the Army. He came out within a year and then just gained and gained and gained. I have no idea how much he weighs, its not a huge amount, but I swear he will have a heart attack before he turns 30 (he is 22 just now).
My mum hates to cook, it was only once everyone moved out the family house, that I could help my own mum drop the weight that she always wanted to lose. Only now can she see just how much crap everyone ate, and how much I struggled with making 3 or 4 different meals every single night (which did not help me at all).
I am 28.7lbs down since January (coming from someone who always ate healthy), my mum has lost 16lbs in 10 weeks!
This only happened for my mum because everyone else who ate so badly weren't around to tempt her (and me)into eating things I instantly regretted eating.
For you? sadly I have absolutely no advice, which sucks i'm sorry. The only way is for them to want to lose. Until then, you might be stuck having to make your own meals and concentrate on building up a damn good motivational plan.
Until then......
Vent as much as you like, you are going to need it!!!
Yes, feel free to vent. You're in a frustrating situation!
Quote:
Originally Posted by lostbutstilltrying
she will literally just eat the stupid dry noodles and then eat a whole pizza or something awful after a week of eating next to nothing and tell me to stop nagging and trying to control everything she eats
From her pattern, I get the sense that she's a carb addict who feels out of control -wants to get healthier but doesn't really know how.
Does she eat breakfast? Would she eat something like bacon and eggs, or something else similarly high in protein and fat? Studies show how that can suppress the appetite and cause eating less all day long. If she could get the body's hormones working in her favor, she'd find it easier to resist the less healthy foods bc she wouldn't experience such a strong craving for them.
Does she like to read? She might benefit from reading on her own about how carbs impact hunger. The knowledge could help her feel empowered bc she'll have answers and strategies, and it may also cause her to stop scapegoating you as the "food controller."
Best wishes and sorry things are so tough right now.
@Scotsgal and @Chunkahlunkah thank you for listening to me rage for awhile - I know this isn't any easy change for any of us (here and at my house) and that to many changes to fast will feel forced and likely won't stick. and it was a good suggestion to let her (and DH) try to read up and educate themselves instead of me trying to learn everything and do everything for them.
Thank you everyone for letting me yell here, so that I didn't go home and shovel food in my mouth to deal with my anger.
With kids, I'm inclined to put good food on the table, and if they don't eat it, they can starve. I promise you they won't. If she wants to eat dried ramen, let her. Husbands are harder. My weight claw back was due to him not fighting me exactly, but not buying into the process when we got married. Add the stress of a new marriage, in a foreign country with his family trying to have me deported as a terrorist, and I was toast for a bit. Now that he is on board, and lost 100 lbs, he's definitely a true believer.
Before I got married, I had a roommate that didn't like me dieting. I cooked two proper meals. She could eat it or make her own. If she left her dinner uneaten, it was my lunch the next day. Eventually she got tired of cooking her own stuff when mine looked so good and started losing weight herself. She was just about to go on insulin and had the beginning of kidney failure, and turned it around just in time.
@CatherineM, thank you so much - I think its good to know that this type of thing can be ridden out, and hope that, they too - will see how positive change can be
I've heard many husbands say they were afraid when their wives went on diets that they'd get skinny and get a richer/younger/skinnier husband. There might be some of that going on consciously or even subconsciously. Never hurts to ask if he's afraid of that.
I am sending you some good wishes and extra strength. You are such a good momma for doing this for your family. We all take our health for granted. Habits can change! Stay strong!!
thank you for the encouragement everyone! I will keep working to make small changes for the family and hope that if I show a good example, it will stick with them
Changes do take time. In the mean time, maybe some healthier versions of favorite foods might help. Tacos and chicken fajitas can be made in a healthy version, fat free refries, lighter cheese and smaller whole wheat tortillas. For pizza, use the sandwich thins as a crust, one whole one makes 2 crusts, turkey pepperoni, diced veg, sauce and mozzerella. Sometimes I do pizza in a cake pan withcooked whole grain spaghetti as the crust, turkey pepperoni, sauce, lots of diced veg, easy on the cheese. It gives them, a food they like, but you have control of the ingredients.
Shredded cooked cabbage drained well, makes a great sub for noodles in lasagne.
Fruit in the blender with a little skim milk, or unsweetened vanilla almond milk and some ice makes a great smoothie.
All of that said, as bad foods run out, I absolutely would not buy anymore. They will get used to it. If they are not hungry enough to eat the healthy food, they are not very hungry. But then I've been told I'm mean. LOL.
Fighting with Family to eat better
From her pattern, I get the sense that she's a carb addict who feels out of control -wants to get healthier but doesn't really know how. 
