[guacamole]

I tend to get very depressed and emotional around TOM. I have a problem with emotional eating and craving carbs and sugars around this time of month. Every month it's a struggle to overcome. I've been doing really well on a low sugar diet, but yesterday and today I caved in and had some foods I shouldn't have had (it could have been worse, but I was really hoping to abstain from eating sugary foods this cycle).

I always tend to dwell on things that happened in the past, or something I read will trigger traumatic events. This month, it's the concept of "ghosting." I didn't even realize there was a name for when someone you are dating suddenly drops off the face of the earth without giving you the common courtesy of officially breaking it off and giving you closure. Apparently it's something that happens quite often these days, with technology making it easier to disappear on someone.

The funny thing is, I haven't dated in a long time, but when I did, I went through more than one instance of being ghosted. In my day, I called it fading out, or flaking out. Whatever, the term, when I went through this, it was incredibly confusing, hurtful, and humiliating. I felt like I was the only person that this had ever happened to - that I was so worthless I didn't even deserve a phone call or an "it's not you, it's me" speech.

I feel like I should actually feel better knowing that this happens to a lot of people (not that I wish that pain on anyone); that I should feel more normal and less like it happened to me because I am an unworthy person or something. However, I couldn't stop obsessively reading these ghosting articles last night and this morning, and it's brought up a lot of old feelings from the past - bad ones.

Anyway, I keep telling myself to stay away from triggering topics during TOM, but I just seem to be in that mindset right now. I just don't want to mess up the weight loss progress I've made while I'm in this mood. Anyone know what I mean?