How do you deal with: "You're too skinny now, please stop. You look sick!"
I just started MF 5&1 for a week now. My husband and I had a conversation last night about my weight goal. I told him I had originally aimed for 145lbs but the dietician suggested the healthy weight of 125lbs. His first comment was: "you will look deadly sick at 125!". The thought that came to my mind was that he's not the only one that will be saying that to me when I reach 130lbs. What I face now from family or distant relatives is: "you are too fat, don't get any fatter!" I honestly think that at 125 I will feel wonderful healthwise. Have any of you faced this and how did you handle it?
He might not be understanding that weight is relative to height. Your BMI at 125 would be in a stable healthy zone. 125 on someone who is 5' 1" is completely different than someone who is 5' 9". Or he might just not like change.
I am just like berryblondeboys. My Ultimate goal is to be 170-180, and at 180 lbs from past experience, I don't look overweight. However, according to BMI, I will be overweight. Everyone distributes fat differently. You may have a better idea of how you will look at a certain weight if you have actually been at that weight before. Personally, I have never faced what you are going through, but I feel what I've said still holds some merit.
Your husband, as LovelyLeah suggested, may not understand the relativity of height and weight. I say stick to your plan, but keep an eye on how you look as you slim down. 125 is just a number if you don't like the way you look getting there.
Yeah, worry about it later. Your body may settle above or below that. If you want to guarantee avoiding looking sick then make sure you eat healthy and exercise. There is always a risk of losing weight and looking bad if you just cut calories alone without working on the other things no matter what weight you reach. But exercise and good, balanced food counters that.
I agree with Ian. If you just cut calories, you run a chance of looking gaunt and way too skinny even if you're at a healthy bmi because you lose too much muscle when you only cut calories. If you eat at a higher calorie range and exercise and keep muscle, you look very healthy even at a lower weight.
there are always going to be comments on your weight. I had people telling me to stop losing weight when I was in the 180s. I've had soooo many people tell me I'm too skinny and that I'm wasting away. You just let it brush off your shoulders and keep going.
Perception is skewed. So many people are overweight that anything under a size 10 now looks "too skinny" to most people. Do your thing and don't discuss your weight loss plan/goal with anyone.
There definitely is something about individuals and weight. I'm 5'8 and at my lowest weight (130- a healthy weight for my height) I was most definitely way to thin! I remember being able to feel my spine jut out of my back when I bent over. I think 150 will be a good weight for me as a muscular individual, but there are others my height who look perfectly healthy at 130. Honestly, I think some doctors are too by the book with weight and don't realize how varied people can be. Of course, I would say play it by ear as you lose weight, you'll figure out what is too thin and what weight your body naturally wants.
I'm around 166 lbs right now. I'm mildly overweight, but definitely not skinny. My mom always calls me skinny though. It gets on my nerves because being skinny isn't something I really want. Yeah, I want a flat belly and thighs that don't jiggle, but I don't want to be a stick. I love my wide hips and muscular legs. Sometimes I think she says it just to build confidence, or maybe because I'm the thinnest out of my siblings. Also, I think that when people are used to seeing you a certain way, it can be shocking to see a dramatic weight loss. They may think you're really thin when it's just being really thin relative to your heavier body, but to strangers who haven't seen the weight loss, you look perfectly healthy.
On the other hand, body dismorhia is a thing, and sometimes people will tell you something you might not be able to see. When I was at my thinnest, I still felt overweight. My mom, sister, aunt, and even school guidance counselor all commented on how thin I was. It took me while to see it.
Balancing, a healthy lifestyle, nutrition, exercise, and loving the body you have.
I'm not perfect. Neither is my body, but, I am healthy. Many of my older relatives, think I'm a stick! 5'5" 140, is not a stick!
But who am I to say, my mother, 74, is at her lightest ever, at 173, in the nursing home, she is 5'2". Her mother, all 5' of her thought she was fat at 95 pounds when she checked into the nursing home. Gramma, all 95 pounds was truly food/health oriented. Ate all the good stuff, exercised, until she could not do it anymore 2 years ago.
My MIL, says I look sick, and gaunt, but she chewed her 300# son (my bil) out for whining about being pre diabetic, saying, "well, that is what you get when you are fat!"
My MIL, is hardly the poster child for health. She still cooks with Crisco!
Here is the thing.
You DO what YOU need to DO, to be the healthy person YOU WANT TO BE!
Don't let it stress you out until you get much closer. You can always decide when you get to 145 if you're happy with the way you look and feel. Sometimes our bodies have a way of picking where they want to be!
There's not a soul on earth that knows what my ultimate goal is. That's because I don't know it myself.
See how you feel physically at different weights. Don't let someone's chart determine what you do. Remember that those numbers have been changing up and down for years.
IMO keep the focus first on how you feel and not how you look.
it's really not the number on the scale but how you look, feel and how happy you are with yourself. You might get to 150 and feel absolutely fabulous and then just maintain. You have to wait and see how things are when you get there
How do you deal with: "You're too skinny now, please stop. You look sick!"
