[berryblondeboys]

but it does.

My entire family is riddled with heart disease. All sides. My father died at the age of 42 from a heart attack. My mother had bypass surgery at 60 and now a massive heart attack at 67.

Both my grandfathers died young of heart attacks, both my uncles have had heart attacks and bypass surgeries. All of us siblings have hypertension (and I'm the oldest at 45 - youngest is 39). My great grandparents, etc. TWO family members in the last 3 generations have died of something other than heart disease and one died of old age while the other died of cancer caused by asbestos exposure (almost certainly).

So why am I not more active and why am I fat? I've known this history forever and ever... yet??? I close my eyes to it.

Shaking my head... MY body is a ticking time bomb too... I just forgot to listen for it's ticking.

[MablesGirl]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom.

[thinin08]

Sending good thoughts and light to you and your family.

[Jacqui_D]

I am so, so sorry. Please let this be your wake-up call. Give every day your best effort to become healthy. No food is worth your life.

[VioletDolphin83]

So sad about your mum. I hope this gives you the strength you need to be healthy.

[fatminusfat]

I hope she recovers. Keep your chin up.

[mars735]

Melissa I hope your mom is recovering. Keep on what you're doing to stay healthy!

[Palestrina]

So sorry to hear about your mom, is she recovering well?

I know it's scary but try to move forward with hope and strength. Don't let the fear paralyze you.

[berryblondeboys]

Thank you everyone. The hard part is that this relationship is just so complicated and has been so painful. It's forcing me to do things I don't want to do and that makes me feel like a horrible person.

This won't make me work harder (as I already am) or derail me (as I'm in a good mental place), but it's hard in other ways.

[VickieLou]

Melissa Prayers for Your Mom and Your family.

[Stripes 237]

I will say a prayer for your mother and for you. I hope you're both feeling better soon.

[applevalleygirl]

Oh I am so sorry to hear about your mother! Hope she is doing better.

I lost my brother to a heart attack so I understand what you are going through. Fortunately he died in his sleep but they were able to determine he had arterosclerosis and I guess his heart just gave out. He became my inspiration to get myself back in shape and lose my weight. But I still miss him a lot!

I hope and pray your mom gets better and both of you can spend more time together!

[shcirerf]

Hugs!

Life is not always simple, as you said.

I won't bore you with the gory details, but, my sisters and I in the last few weeks, had to out our Mom, in the same nursing home as her mother, and are stuck with a mess from ****!

Gramma, is 97! Mom is 74. Broke as all get out, $40,000 in credit card debt. never mind that. They cannot touch her SS check. Then I get home from some of that to find out, my MIL, with Afib, has fallen and broke her wrist, while FIL, can barely walk!

And so it goes!

So far, I've lived through all of it.

If nothing else, it is a wake up call, to finally take a step back,take a breath, meditate on things, and realize, I need to put me first! I'm no good to the people in my life, or to me, without, putting me first!

[Munchy]

Originally Posted by shcirerf

I'm no good to the people in my life, or to me, without, putting me first!

This, exactly. And hugs and prayers going out to your mom and your family.

[freelancemomma]

Originally Posted by berryblondeboys

but it does.

So why am I not more active and why am I fat? I've known this history forever and ever... yet??? I close my eyes to it.

Shaking my head... MY body is a ticking time bomb too... I just forgot to listen for it's ticking.

My father died of lung cancer when I was 11 and I smoked from age 15 to about 45 (on and off, but some of the 'on' periods were quite long).

We humans are good at closing our eyes to reality: we can know A but do B. We're also driven by short-term needs (pleasure, managing anxiety, etc.).

So... (news flash).... you're human!

You've acknowledged the gap between your intellectual understanding and your behavior, which is a great first step toward closing it.