Homophobic church.... I'm gay and they didn't know it
Apparently I'm the monster ruining the body of Christ.
I went to RCIA today first day back. Only towards the end someone (a friend) brought up gay people. She believes they should be excluded from the church. And so a conversation started. The RCIA director was supporting her and said we are not called to be tolerant…. I tried to sit and take it but ended up storming out and crying… Never going back. I'm taking a break from organized religion...
Please if you don't like gays don't respond. I've had enough for one day....
That's really sad. I'm so sorry you experienced that. Perhaps the Episcopal Church, which is very similar to the Catholic Church but accepting of its LGBT members, would be a better fit. My family was Catholic but I don't belong to either church. I've just been impressed with the Episcopal Church's acceptance of all of God's children for a long time now. http://www.episcopalchurch.org/page/lgbt-church.
I am so sorry. That is awful and you are absolutely not a monster. I have a lot of issues with a lot of churches but there are some good ones out there. Unfortunately my dad is the homophobic, right-wing extremist, shun anyone who doesn't fit into his definition of Christian type of Christian and it drives me absolutely insane. I fall under my own umbrella. I believe that the very few parts of the Bible that even discuss homosexuality were social constructs of their time. It makes sense when you're a minority group to want to forbid behaviors that don't produce offspring and expand your group but once Judaism and then Christianity became a majority those restriction are no longer useful to the community as a whole. Just like other "laws" that we no longer follow, this is another one that was specific to that time period. This isn't a popular belief amongst the more conservative religious people.
That's unfortunate for you to go through that. Not all churches are homophobic. Choose one that isn't. You don't have to give up on organised religion.
I'm in the UK and not familiar with the RCIA or what it represents, but honestly if they have outlooks like that you are better off without them.
I'm so sorry you were in this situation though, I thought times were improving and people were more tolerant of many aspects of life like mental illness, gender identity and sexual preference. But clearly not in certain circles.
I hope you can find something that satisfies your spiritual and personal needs - that is more tolerant and open minded.
So religious topics here are one that can get heated and generally we try to steer clear of them but I can see your pain.
I think we all need to find our own path in life, I knew in my early 20s that organized religion was not for me but I think there are plenty of reasons why someone would be part of it including the social structure and support. I have gay friends that are part of various churches. One friend is part of a unitarian church and another one is part of a LGBT friendly christian church. You might just have to do some googling to see what is in your area, if that is the path you want to go.
Ditch 'em. (If you're the snarky type, send them a letter saying why you left!) If you really want to be a part of a church, find one that's going to accept you. If not, there's plenty to do outside of religon. I'd be happy to talk to you if you'd like
Yes I know this is a topic often avoided - but if you are feeling you need a community - religious or not, there are those out there that are supportive of LGBTQ rights and welcome everyone. Check out the links above and do some google searching.
but I'm so sorry your community is not showing you love and respect and belonging.
Thank you all for the support. Got an apology from the friend who started the argument at church. Maybe I'll go back. She seemed really nice and sincere in this apology.
I'm sorry for the experience you had at RCIA. I'm a new Catholic and one thing I thought was refreshing (obviously my experience differed from yours) about the Catholic church was their absolute consistency on classifying any sex outside of the sacrament of marriage as being a sin (so fornication, adultery, homosexual sex are all sexual sins) but not focusing on homosexuality as being some sort of special sin the way I see some churches doing. Additionally, the Church teaches we are supposed to embrace people and bring them into the fullness of the Church, not drive them out.
As it happens, we had a very lively discussion in my RCIA class about homosexuality and gay marriage because the majority of us felt that homosexuality isn't a choice and that we didn't understand why God would create people that way only to demand celibacy from them. It's a tough issue. But our RCIA instructor was far more charitable than yours was and allowed the conversation to run its course and did his best to find us the answers.
I would probably have a discussion with the RCIA leader - Catholics are supposed to approach sensitive topics with charity and should not be acting judgmentally like that. I don't feel that the Catholic Church is homophobic in and of itself, but like with any group you're going to find some people who are homophobic.
Last edited by EagleRiverDee; 06-15-2015 at 07:56 PM.
I think you have gotten a lot of useful advice and as I've said, we try to steer away from topics regarding religion here. I'm going to go ahead and close this. I do hope you find what you need in terms of support.
Homophobic church.... I'm gay and they didn't know it
Perhaps the Episcopal Church, which is very similar to the Catholic Church but accepting of its LGBT members, would be a better fit. My family was Catholic but I don't belong to either church. I've just been impressed with the Episcopal Church's acceptance of all of God's children for a long time now. 
